Paper Moon

I saw Speed Racer this weekend. About an hour into it I wanted to kill myself. I had a migraine for like 48 hours afterward. That movie was not only bad, but apparently it was also bad for my health. For the record, the only other movie that ever gave me a massive pounding migraine was Peter Jackson's King Kong. I didn't like that movie either. And it wasn't because of the migraine, which didn't settle in until about thirty minutes after the end credits rolled, but because it was just. plain. bad.

Now, here's an annoyance of mine. Over and over again, I see reviews calling Speed Racer a "live-action cartoon." And calling it the first of its kind. "The closest thing I've ever seen to a live-action cartoon," blah blah blah.

Clearly these plebes are incredibly fortunate sadly misinformed, because the title of the closest thing I've ever seen to a live-action cartoon is won, hands-down ( by.... )

(Click for a larger version!)

So this Adam Hughes poster, subtitled "The Real Power of the DC Universe," has been making the rounds. And there's some debate on whether it's sexist or not.

My reactions:

1. Holy God that's GORGEOUS.
2. The women may be dressed similarly, but their individual personalities really shine through.
3. Are those... individualized... faces?! Why yes, they are!
4. Mary Marvel looks about ten years too old.
5. Oh wait, that's not Mary Marvel... it's Kate Kane?!
6. So why is the lesbian the only one wearing a pantsuit? (*headdesk*)
7. You'd think that with all of Bab's money and connections she would be able to afford a wheelchair that doesn't look so wretchedly behind the times.
8. Kara. Oh my God. Kara. She's sixteen years old, for crying out loud!
9. I can imagine both Selina and Poison Ivy taking Kara aside, either before or after the photoshoot, and giving her a good tongue-lashing. "Oh honey. That's not how you do a seductive come-hither face. That's not how you do it at all. And really, would it kill you to add an extra inch or two on your hem? You're supposed to leave a little something to their imaginations!"
10. Okay, I'll admit, the fact that EVERY SINGLE WOMAN* is wearing three-inch spike heels is pretty effing sexist. The gowns are varied and gorgeous; why can't we have a little more variety in the footwear, too?

* Granted, as was pointed out in comments, we can only see the shoes on five women, and it's kind of hard to tell what Barbara's wearing. If you ask me, though, her visible foot definitely looks pointed, so either she's resting with her foot en pointe, or she's wearing freakin' heels.

ETA: You know what this entry needs? Beefcake.

Here, let me ruin your childhood for you.

Disclaimer: Many of those characters are from Disney movies that are NOT from my childhood, actually.

In follow-up to this:

But, Ms. Whiny Entitled Fangirl, you may ask, don't you know that sex sells? Don't you think it's unfair to ask Marvel and DC to stop making comics that appeal to the Scaly Basement-Dwelling Stereotyped Fanboy just because you want to buy a couple of their products?

The obvious answer to that is: Good comics appeal to everybody, including the Scaly Basement-Dwelling Stereotyped Fanboy. So doesn't it make more sense to make comics that more people are going to want to buy? And good comics can be sexy. They just shouldn't be sexist.

First, an observation: I'm not sure why so many guys are defending Marvel and DC's insistent push to cater only to the typical bottom-feeding Scaly Basement-Dwelling Stereotyped Fanboy in the first place. (For the sake of brevity, the Scaly Basement-Dwelling Stereotyped Fanboy shall hereby be referred to as Ghost, in honor of his comments here.) I mean, isn't that a huge insult against your gender and your hobby, you guys reading this? For the executives at Marvel and DC to treat you as if you are a desperate lonely slob who could never make it with a real woman and thus have to content yourselves with comics about scantily-clad superheroines being raped instead? To assume that you are all the Ghosts of the world? To assume that this (NSFW) is the only way to appeal to you? To assume that you would actually rather have that than this or this?

Isn't the fact that Marvel and DC target a mythical stereotype of a skeezy comics fanboy an insult to everyone across the board, whether you're male or female?

And therein lies the problem. Oh ye Ghosts of the world, let me make an assumption of my own: I think that you would enjoy this, or this, or this, or this, or this, or this. Maybe you would enjoy this (NSFW) or this (NSFS) more than all of the previous. But the point is, I bet you wouldn't NOT buy a comic because it had this on the cover. If you really wanted a Wonder Woman statue, you wouldn't NOT buy this statue just because she's not topless. You might not buy it for other reasons, but that's neither here nor there. We're talking about sex appeal in this post. Sex appeal!

But the same doesn't work in reverse. A whole lotta people are not going to buy Heroes for Hire because of that disgusting sexist cover. For example, see here. And a whole lot of people aren't going to buy that Mary-Jane statue or anything Marvel-related for a looong time, because of the fact that said statue is disgusting. Sexist and ugly. Double-threat!

So here's the issue. Sexy stuff appeals to everyone, including the Ghosts of the world. Sexist stuff may get the Ghosts of the world to fork over their hard-earned money without a blinking moment of hesitation, but it alienates a huge chunk of the potential audience that could otherwise be reached. So why not just be sexy, not sexist? Why not appeal to everyone, instead of just the scaly basement-dwelling few?

Oh, and by the way: the above-mentioned marketing model works. Runaways, a good old-fashioned teen superhero story with lots of sexiness and little sexism, is Marvel's best-selling digest in April. And for more proof that sexy money talks louder than sexist money, scroll to the bottom of this post.

I've said this before in a previous wank: Marketing towards men =/= alienating women. You can make, and market, comics that appeal to stereotypical male interests, such as manly he-men punching semitrucks and beautiful women kicking righteous ass. You can do these things without insulting or degrading anyone. Just make that beautiful woman a person and not a sex object. It's not hard to do. Give her realistic anatomy and a functional costume, give her a personality, and draw her in a pose that reflects that personality. Note that "realistic anatomy" can be hubba-hubba hot, a "functional costume" can still be sexy as hell, and a powerful action pose, such as kicking or punching, can show off a woman's anatomy without forcing her to pose like a limp blow-up doll in the process. So now, voila, you can appeal to your target demographic and not alienate anyone else who might be interested in buying your comics.

Standard disclaimer, because I really shouldn't have to explain this, but recently certain Eisner-nominated comics journalists have proven otherwise: Real, actual pornography is different. The market rules are different, and you can alienate whoever the hell you want with your sexual fantasies. But mainstream superhero comics are NOT pornography, they are NOT YOUR sexual fantasies, and any attempts to answer an argument about marketing mainstream superhero comics with examples from pornography are just really, really missing the point.

Further linkage: A marketing guy who actually knows what he's talking about makes some good points about money, and how, like, it's smart to not discourage us wimmins from spending such. ;) And Websnark weighs in with an insightful post about brand management here. And a nifty post here from Stars and Garters, which may be a new blog with only two posts, but both of them rock so far.