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Soul Eater Chapter 93: All the stupid Radiohead jokes. All of them.
MEANWHILE, IN ITALY!
Maka and Soul are standing around some pretty scenery. Maka has her eyes closed.
"Are you sensing anything?" Soul asks.
"I'm just trying to keep my soul calm, but I can't sense anything..."
Somewhere nearby! "So what are we going to do when we find Crona?" Kim asks. "We're not really going to kill Crona, are we?!"
"Those are the Spartoi's orders..." Harvar says.
Black Star leans against a wall and orally molests some ellipses.
"How can you agree with that so easily...?" Kim asks Harvar. "Crona is Maka's friend!"
" 'Execute Crona.' That is the solution that Shinigami-sama himself decided upon."
"And just because Shinigami-sama said so, does that mean that it's the only solution?!"
"Kim..." Jackie says.
"Yes, actually," Harvar says. "It does mean that. Shinigami-sama's orders are absolute. Even if there are some people on this mission who seem incapable of accepting their oders. Shinigami-sama's very existence is one of absolute finality... Death is the only absolute order in the world. The circle of life, death, and rebirth rules absolutely over all living things in creation. What person could possibly oppose the totality of all natural order?"
"Every person dies eventually," Harvar goes on, "which is ironically why so few humans can easily accept their mortality. Yet in the end, nobody can oppose death." Except for Immortals, I guess, but Ohkubo likes to conveniently forget that they exist. "Our mission is the same. We are a part of this system of absolute order, too."
Oh god this dialogue is so fucking painful and WE ALREADY HAD THIS ARGUMENT FOUR CHAPTERS AGO whyyyyyyy are we wasting time rehashing this again?!
"Ox, do you agree with this narrow-minded asshole?" Kim asks Ox. "If Shinigami-sama ordered you to execute me, would you agree to it so easily?"
"Of course not..."
"Then why... Maybe the only reason that I'm opposed to this mission is because I'm a witch? Is that it?"
"Kim..." Jackie comforts Kim. "It's not just you."
"We have a target for our mission," Black Star finally chimes in, "so our first step is to find that target. But after that, it's not a simple mission. The final solution will be our decision. Kid himself said so."
"Exactly," Soul says. "Crona's fate hasn't been decided yet."
"We have to meet Crona in person," Maka says, "before we make our final decision." If I have to, will I be able to fight Crona...? Maka makes determined!face. "I found Crona."
MEANWHILE, ON THE MOON!
Shibusen's airship has landed and the troops are pouring out.
Oh hey look, it's Stein. And Deng, and Djinn. And Spirit, and Marie, and Sid. "Finally," Stein says. He breathes smoke out of his nostrils. Aaaah... It feels like I'm set free from all of my responsibilities...
Hey dumbass, you still have to, you know, lead. Lead your army. The army that you are supposed to be leading on this mission. But what the hell we know that Stein is about to go beserk and start punching the everliving shit out of Clowns anyway. Which I guess is almost as good as actually leading the mission like he's supposed to be doing.
Meanwhile, in a smoking crater! "Granny..." Kid says.
"That bitch..." Kaguya fumes. "How dare she destroy Moonbeam... And now Shibusen's ship has landed on the surface, too..."
Suddenly, from behind the clouds of smoke! "*COUGH*COUGH*"
It's Granny, still alive! "Problem?" she smirks (at Kid? At Kaguya? who cares, that trollface is awesome!).
"GRANNY!!" Liz and Patti shout.
Oh my god, Kaguya's face. "!!"
"What, didja think I was dead? It takes more than that to kill Granny!"
"Granny," Kid sighs with relief.
"Dammit!" Kaguya swears.
Granny lumbers over toward Kaguya. "All righty then, shall we continue where we left off?"
But suddenly
JUSTIN.
Holy shit, Justin.
"GRANNY!!" Kid shouts.
"GRANNY!!!" Liz and Patti scream.
"GRANNY!!!!"
"Young master..." Granny gasps.
"GRANNY!!!!!" Kid shouts again. The five exclamation points make it SUPER DRAMATIC, y'all.
Granny's body dissolves and her soul floats next to Justin.
"Little piggy..." Justin says. Really, Ohkubo? Radiohead references now?!
"You bastard..." Kid says. "And you used to be a Death Scythe, too... You defile my father's name."
"Oh, you're Shinigami's little piglet..." Justin says. "So you're the little piggy that Kishin-sama is so afraid of."
"How dare you kill Granny..." Kid says. As Shibusen's entire army charges toward Justin.
"The livestock are coming..." Justin tells the Clowns gathered behind him. Then he turns his attention back toward Kid. "Antibiotic-fed pigs. No matter how haughty you may act, in the end you're all helpless livestock, dead without the feed supplied by your masters. You poor little piggies." He grins. "But I am free."
"Free?" Kid grits his teeth. "All you did was switch gods. You act as though you've finally attained all that you desire, yet you're nothing more than rabid animals. You're just a gutter rat going along with whichever way the sewage flows."
"YOU'RE the ones invading Kishin-sama's peaceful resting place!!" Justin fires back. "YOU'RE the ones acting like rabid animals!!"
"Because the STENCH of your insanity reaches ALL THE WAY TO THE EARTH!!"
So now that Justin and Kid's shouting match has actually devolved into you smell! No, you!! I think it's time to cut back to Stein.
Hi, Stein.
"We are Shibusen," Stein declares, watching his troops battle the Clowns. "We bring order to purify insanity!!"
"Or so you say," Justin says. I think he's smirking but it's kind of hard to tell, what with half of his face on fire.
A war of aggression... Stein think-bubbles. A war to protect the common people... Unlike other wars, this battle has no reason... Order and Insanity exist as reflections of each other. It is only natural that they should clash... No, that is not a reason either. What am I doing here? Why am I on the side of Order? There is no reason for this battle, and I, too, don't need reasons anymore... I just want to rip everything apart.
Visual metaphor what the fuck. When you have a box all giftwrapped nicely, you don't need a reason to want to know the contents of the box. Just wanting to know is enough. And anybody would think it strange for someone to feel guilt for having to tear apart the wrapping paper in order to obtain what is inside the box. Although I suppose there should be a difference between presents and living creatures...
Stein rips apart Clowns with a single touch.
Generally speaking.
Stein pauses to adjust his head-screw while Marie and Spirit look on in horror.
With living creatures, perhaps one shouldn't rip them apart needlessly... After all, dissection should be an orderly process. "Senpai---... Marie---... It's time for us to move out. Marie, change into your weapon form. Senpai, be ready to support us." Should I start from the top, or from the bottom? Hu hu hu hu....
It's time to make the moon into a slaughterhouse...
Meanwhile, Kaguya!
...is naked. Siiiiiiigh.
"More and more people are trying to see my naked body," Kaguya says as she casts off her impenetrable robe. Oh honey, that is not why everybody is trying to cut through your robe. But whatever. "But I won't let you worship my body that easily."
ROBE TRANSFORMATION! a helpful panel informs us.
ROBE OF THE FIRE RAT!
(Mythology reference for the chapter: In the oldest version of the Princess Kaguya story, Kaguya's adoptive father charges each of Kaguya's five princely suitors with an impossible task that they must complete before they can marry the princess. One of the suitors is told to bring Kaguya a robe made from the fur of the mythical Chinese Fire Rat. Even in 10th century Japan, however, the Fire Rat was pure science fiction, so the suitor tries to decieve Kaguya with a fake robe instead. Kaguya sees through the deception and rejects the suitor. Also you may have heard of the Robe of the Fire Rat before because, uh, it was supposed to be that red thing that Inu-Yasha always wore. So there you go.)
"CRESCENT MOON!"
Kaguya's new attack slices some Shibusen grunts in half.
"I regret having to damage our peaceful moon like this," Kaguya says, "but I'm terribly shy about my body."
And Ohkubo draws jiggle lines next to her naked breasts. Just so that we know that her naked breasts are indeed jiggling. Thank you for that, Ohkubo. Thank you.
"I don't think you understand what 'shy' means!!" Kid shouts as he charges toward her.
"You wish to face me again, brat?" Yeah I don't even know what the fuck is going on in the next panel. I think they're supposed to be fighting, but it looks like Kaguya and Kid are dancing the Charleston. "If you truly desire so deeply to see my naked body, why don't you bring me a fitting tribute first?" She raises a... paw... to shield herself. Jesus tapdancing Christ, Ohkubo. "However, I'm not the type of woman to take my clothes off just because you bring me a pretty gift."
"WHAT are you TALKING about?!" Kid yells at her. "Your body is COMPLETELY ORDINARY!!"
Oh god the anatomy in the next panel. Oh, Ohkubo. "You would say something so delusional even while looking directly at me?!" Kaguya blushes. "You must be imagining that you can see the shape of my body through my clothing! What a perverted little brat! Keta keta keta ke ke ke ke ke ke!!"
Keta keta is the sound effect for Japanese cackling.
"What an obnoxious opponent," Kid says. "Now I'm really starting to get annoyed!!"
Meanwhile, Clowns!
Spirit is like, holy shit Clowns!
Stein swings around Marie some, and then there are no more Clowns. Just flying chunks of Clown all over the place.
"STEIN!!" Marie shouts.
"We came here to defeat the Kishin..." Spirit says. "And yet... He looks just like the Kishin himself..."
To be continued in next month's issue!
Maka and Soul are standing around some pretty scenery. Maka has her eyes closed.
"Are you sensing anything?" Soul asks.
"I'm just trying to keep my soul calm, but I can't sense anything..."
Somewhere nearby! "So what are we going to do when we find Crona?" Kim asks. "We're not really going to kill Crona, are we?!"
"Those are the Spartoi's orders..." Harvar says.
Black Star leans against a wall and orally molests some ellipses.
"How can you agree with that so easily...?" Kim asks Harvar. "Crona is Maka's friend!"
" 'Execute Crona.' That is the solution that Shinigami-sama himself decided upon."
"And just because Shinigami-sama said so, does that mean that it's the only solution?!"
"Kim..." Jackie says.
"Yes, actually," Harvar says. "It does mean that. Shinigami-sama's orders are absolute. Even if there are some people on this mission who seem incapable of accepting their oders. Shinigami-sama's very existence is one of absolute finality... Death is the only absolute order in the world. The circle of life, death, and rebirth rules absolutely over all living things in creation. What person could possibly oppose the totality of all natural order?"
"Every person dies eventually," Harvar goes on, "which is ironically why so few humans can easily accept their mortality. Yet in the end, nobody can oppose death." Except for Immortals, I guess, but Ohkubo likes to conveniently forget that they exist. "Our mission is the same. We are a part of this system of absolute order, too."
Oh god this dialogue is so fucking painful and WE ALREADY HAD THIS ARGUMENT FOUR CHAPTERS AGO whyyyyyyy are we wasting time rehashing this again?!
"Ox, do you agree with this narrow-minded asshole?" Kim asks Ox. "If Shinigami-sama ordered you to execute me, would you agree to it so easily?"
"Of course not..."
"Then why... Maybe the only reason that I'm opposed to this mission is because I'm a witch? Is that it?"
"Kim..." Jackie comforts Kim. "It's not just you."
"We have a target for our mission," Black Star finally chimes in, "so our first step is to find that target. But after that, it's not a simple mission. The final solution will be our decision. Kid himself said so."
"Exactly," Soul says. "Crona's fate hasn't been decided yet."
"We have to meet Crona in person," Maka says, "before we make our final decision." If I have to, will I be able to fight Crona...? Maka makes determined!face. "I found Crona."
MEANWHILE, ON THE MOON!
Shibusen's airship has landed and the troops are pouring out.
Oh hey look, it's Stein. And Deng, and Djinn. And Spirit, and Marie, and Sid. "Finally," Stein says. He breathes smoke out of his nostrils. Aaaah... It feels like I'm set free from all of my responsibilities...
Hey dumbass, you still have to, you know, lead. Lead your army. The army that you are supposed to be leading on this mission. But what the hell we know that Stein is about to go beserk and start punching the everliving shit out of Clowns anyway. Which I guess is almost as good as actually leading the mission like he's supposed to be doing.
Meanwhile, in a smoking crater! "Granny..." Kid says.
"That bitch..." Kaguya fumes. "How dare she destroy Moonbeam... And now Shibusen's ship has landed on the surface, too..."
Suddenly, from behind the clouds of smoke! "*COUGH*COUGH*"
It's Granny, still alive! "Problem?" she smirks (at Kid? At Kaguya? who cares, that trollface is awesome!).
"GRANNY!!" Liz and Patti shout.
Oh my god, Kaguya's face. "!!"
"What, didja think I was dead? It takes more than that to kill Granny!"
"Granny," Kid sighs with relief.
"Dammit!" Kaguya swears.
Granny lumbers over toward Kaguya. "All righty then, shall we continue where we left off?"
But suddenly
JUSTIN.
Holy shit, Justin.
"GRANNY!!" Kid shouts.
"GRANNY!!!" Liz and Patti scream.
"GRANNY!!!!"
"Young master..." Granny gasps.
"GRANNY!!!!!" Kid shouts again. The five exclamation points make it SUPER DRAMATIC, y'all.
Granny's body dissolves and her soul floats next to Justin.
"Little piggy..." Justin says. Really, Ohkubo? Radiohead references now?!
"You bastard..." Kid says. "And you used to be a Death Scythe, too... You defile my father's name."
"Oh, you're Shinigami's little piglet..." Justin says. "So you're the little piggy that Kishin-sama is so afraid of."
"How dare you kill Granny..." Kid says. As Shibusen's entire army charges toward Justin.
"The livestock are coming..." Justin tells the Clowns gathered behind him. Then he turns his attention back toward Kid. "Antibiotic-fed pigs. No matter how haughty you may act, in the end you're all helpless livestock, dead without the feed supplied by your masters. You poor little piggies." He grins. "But I am free."
"Free?" Kid grits his teeth. "All you did was switch gods. You act as though you've finally attained all that you desire, yet you're nothing more than rabid animals. You're just a gutter rat going along with whichever way the sewage flows."
"YOU'RE the ones invading Kishin-sama's peaceful resting place!!" Justin fires back. "YOU'RE the ones acting like rabid animals!!"
"Because the STENCH of your insanity reaches ALL THE WAY TO THE EARTH!!"
So now that Justin and Kid's shouting match has actually devolved into you smell! No, you!! I think it's time to cut back to Stein.
Hi, Stein.
"We are Shibusen," Stein declares, watching his troops battle the Clowns. "We bring order to purify insanity!!"
"Or so you say," Justin says. I think he's smirking but it's kind of hard to tell, what with half of his face on fire.
A war of aggression... Stein think-bubbles. A war to protect the common people... Unlike other wars, this battle has no reason... Order and Insanity exist as reflections of each other. It is only natural that they should clash... No, that is not a reason either. What am I doing here? Why am I on the side of Order? There is no reason for this battle, and I, too, don't need reasons anymore... I just want to rip everything apart.
Visual metaphor what the fuck. When you have a box all giftwrapped nicely, you don't need a reason to want to know the contents of the box. Just wanting to know is enough. And anybody would think it strange for someone to feel guilt for having to tear apart the wrapping paper in order to obtain what is inside the box. Although I suppose there should be a difference between presents and living creatures...
Stein rips apart Clowns with a single touch.
Generally speaking.
Stein pauses to adjust his head-screw while Marie and Spirit look on in horror.
With living creatures, perhaps one shouldn't rip them apart needlessly... After all, dissection should be an orderly process. "Senpai---... Marie---... It's time for us to move out. Marie, change into your weapon form. Senpai, be ready to support us." Should I start from the top, or from the bottom? Hu hu hu hu....
It's time to make the moon into a slaughterhouse...
Meanwhile, Kaguya!
...is naked. Siiiiiiigh.
"More and more people are trying to see my naked body," Kaguya says as she casts off her impenetrable robe. Oh honey, that is not why everybody is trying to cut through your robe. But whatever. "But I won't let you worship my body that easily."
ROBE TRANSFORMATION! a helpful panel informs us.
ROBE OF THE FIRE RAT!
(Mythology reference for the chapter: In the oldest version of the Princess Kaguya story, Kaguya's adoptive father charges each of Kaguya's five princely suitors with an impossible task that they must complete before they can marry the princess. One of the suitors is told to bring Kaguya a robe made from the fur of the mythical Chinese Fire Rat. Even in 10th century Japan, however, the Fire Rat was pure science fiction, so the suitor tries to decieve Kaguya with a fake robe instead. Kaguya sees through the deception and rejects the suitor. Also you may have heard of the Robe of the Fire Rat before because, uh, it was supposed to be that red thing that Inu-Yasha always wore. So there you go.)
"CRESCENT MOON!"
Kaguya's new attack slices some Shibusen grunts in half.
"I regret having to damage our peaceful moon like this," Kaguya says, "but I'm terribly shy about my body."
And Ohkubo draws jiggle lines next to her naked breasts. Just so that we know that her naked breasts are indeed jiggling. Thank you for that, Ohkubo. Thank you.
"I don't think you understand what 'shy' means!!" Kid shouts as he charges toward her.
"You wish to face me again, brat?" Yeah I don't even know what the fuck is going on in the next panel. I think they're supposed to be fighting, but it looks like Kaguya and Kid are dancing the Charleston. "If you truly desire so deeply to see my naked body, why don't you bring me a fitting tribute first?" She raises a... paw... to shield herself. Jesus tapdancing Christ, Ohkubo. "However, I'm not the type of woman to take my clothes off just because you bring me a pretty gift."
"WHAT are you TALKING about?!" Kid yells at her. "Your body is COMPLETELY ORDINARY!!"
Oh god the anatomy in the next panel. Oh, Ohkubo. "You would say something so delusional even while looking directly at me?!" Kaguya blushes. "You must be imagining that you can see the shape of my body through my clothing! What a perverted little brat! Keta keta keta ke ke ke ke ke ke!!"
Keta keta is the sound effect for Japanese cackling.
"What an obnoxious opponent," Kid says. "Now I'm really starting to get annoyed!!"
Meanwhile, Clowns!
Spirit is like, holy shit Clowns!
Stein swings around Marie some, and then there are no more Clowns. Just flying chunks of Clown all over the place.
"STEIN!!" Marie shouts.
"We came here to defeat the Kishin..." Spirit says. "And yet... He looks just like the Kishin himself..."
To be continued in next month's issue!
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