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Soul Eater Chapter 103: HOLY FUCKING MANDIBLE-NIPPLE NAKED ANT MONSTER SHITTING SHIT FUCKSHIT!!!
We open with Tezca, which means that it's time for more painful and unnecessary exposition. God I hope this doesn't last for too many pages.
(*flips ahead*) Oh thank skateboarding Christ, it doesn't. All right, here we go!
"Thanks to the witches, we were finally able to annihilate the clown army... So our only remaining target is Kishin Asura himself..." Yes yes we know this already Tezca. Moving along.
Big Daddy orally molests some ellipses, then says, "All the seeds that I have sown..."
Excalibur then proceeds to ruin this delightfully cryptic moment by mumbling "I see. I see." And then proceeding to scatter literal seeds all over the floor of the Death Room with the twirling of his cane. Literal. Seeds. You know, Ohkubo, this shit is always stupid whenever Kuniko Ikuhara tries to pull it off, and it's not any better in your manga either. Metaphors are supposed to be metaphors for a reason. Or maybe that's not what's going on with this page at all. Oops.
"Order has produced chaos..." Excalibur declares.
"The Death Room is a mirror that reflects the order in the real world..." Big Daddy says. "It reacts quite sensitively to disorder in the world."
"In mere moments, the outside world will begin to feel his influence too..." Excalibur says.
"He has awakened."
BA-DUM.
"The Kishin."
Hell yes.
Speaking of which, it's time to check in with Sid, Mira, and the Five Stooges! (I'm counting Index as one of the five stooges because he's stupid and his plot is stupid and his face is stupid.)
"The Kishin is in here," Sid says, repeating his line from two chapters ago.
"Yes," Akane agrees, because he is such a useful character and he totally has such a useful purpose for being on this mission, in this storyline, and in this manga altogether. So very useful and necessary is he.
Suddenly--
BA-DUM.
Oh my god Sid behind you-----!!!!!
And then--
BA-DUM.
Here it comes...... Maka think-bubbles.
"Can you feel that, Akane?" Sid asks.
"Yes..."
"Ku ku!" Index laughs. "Finally, he appears..."
"It's just beyond this darkness..." Akane says.
"It's getting closer..."
"Such an intense soul wavelength..."
"Thirty meters straight ahead of us... Yes, it's definitely coming closer..."
"Twenty meters..."
"Fifteen meters..."
"Ten meters..."
"Five meters..." Akane says. "No... Three meters?! Two meters?! That can't be!! At this close range we should be able to see him already!!"
Meanwhile, on the surface of the moon! "Ma... Maka..." Kid stutters. "Is it possible that my soul perception is mistaken, or...?"
"I... I feel it too..." Maka says. "I can feel the Kishin's wavelength so close to us, but... He's not here..."
Deep within the sinuses of the moon! "What is it?! What's wrong?!" Gopher asks Sid.
"One meter..." Akane says. "Sid-sensei..."
On the surface of the moon, Maka and Kid are FREAKING OUT, while Black Star's just standing there, like, making ellipses.
"Zero..." Akane says.
Aaaaaaaaaaand it's body horror time.
"He'll take the souls of the weak-willed ones first," Excalibur says. WHY DOES HE LOOK SO ADORABLE AND CHEERFUL WHEN HE SAYS THAT.
Back on the surface of the moon, Spirit looks about ready to puke his guts out. "Harden your will and steel your mind!" Stein says. "Don't let it get to you!!"
"Ugu," Akane says, clutching at his chest. And not the moe-moe kind of ugu either.
Hey, I told y'all that it was body horror time, right?
And on the next page, indeed it is.
"My replacement arm is coming undone..." Sid gasps. "It's gushing into my mouth......!!"
Dialogue on the next page: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
On the surface of the moon, pretty much NOBODY ELSE is faring any better.
Except for the Little Demon. He's pretty excited about all of this awesome shit going down. "Insanity doesn't attack you from the outside... It comes from inside of you...!!"
So then a whole bunch of Kishin-goo bursts out of Maka's left eye
and she
then she
just smashes it back into her face like the unbelievably chill badass that she is and proceeds to get right down to business. "Courage!!" she gasps, stomping down her foot decisively. "Soul!!"
Soul pulls out his arm-piano-blade.
"SOUL MEDITATION MELODY!!"
Boom. Take that, body horror.
One sparkly POWER OF LOVE-fueled explosion later, everybody is back to normal. Hooray!
"This can only give us temporary protection," Maka says as a few leftover sparkly note-shaped bursts of light float around her. She glares up at the nostrils of the moon's nose.
Inside the moon's nose, Sid and the Five Stooges are back to normal, too. Except that Sid suddenly realizes that Kishin Asura is now standing
RIGHT THE FUCK IN FRONT OF HIM HOLY FUCKSHIT
"Ki... Kishin!!" Sid gasps, managing to jump backwards, swipe with his stabby knife, and throw a flare at the Kishin all at the same time. Impressive.
And of course Asura is still standing there, totally unharmed, and showing absolutely no sign of reacting to this attack.
"Is this... Is this also a hallucination...?!"
Sid doesn't have time to test out his theory, though, because all of a sudden Noah has a rocket-powered magical book strapped to his ass and he is determined to prove that there is a point to him being in this manga no matter fucking what. "SO YOU'RE THE KISHIN!! I CAME ALL THE WAY TO THE GODDAMN MOON TO GET MY HANDS ON YOU!!"
Oh my god. These next three panels. These next three panels.
Noah is now minus one monster and minus one eyeball as well, but he's still grinning like a maniac. "To create such a shockwave with just one swing of your arm! You're just makin' me want you more and more, Asura!!"
"NOAH-SAMA!!" Gopher screams.
"Don't say my name with such a pathetic crybaby voice!" Noah says, summoning what has got to me the most grotesque call-out to Monotone Princess that Ohkubo could possibly have conceived of. And it looks AWESOME. Mandible-nipples and all.
"It's pointless!" Sid says, watching Noah do his whole suicidal attack-the-Kishin schtick. "He doesn't hold a candle to the Kishin's power level."
"It's NOT POINTLESS!!" Gopher screams at Sid's face, attempting to defend Noah-sama's honor.
"ATTACK ANT!!"
Asura seems unimpressed.
"No matter what you may throw at us, this book is still the treasure chest holding all the world's knowledge!" Index dramatically declares. "Knowledge can never die!! And if we use this BREW, then--!"
Then what?
"To know all knowledge at once is, as you can see, quite the power-up!!"
As we can see what?
"AAAAAAAAAAAH"
Oh, you mean that. That's what will happen.
"And then! AND THEN!" Oh yaaaaaay it's the return of bonkers-flavored Index! I was wondering when Index would go off his rocker again. (If he even has a butt to sit on a rocking chair with in the first place, I mean.) "Now the BREW will show its true abilities!! The knowing of all knowledge at once - in practical application - is the birth of a wholly new knowledge!!"
THAT'S what you'd call what's happening in the next panel?! Really, Index?!
"Noah-sama!!" Gopher gasps.
"THE ULTIMATE UNION!! TRUE BREW DISTILLATION!!"
(A pun which translates surprisingly well from Japanese into English, for once.)
Oh my zombie-teddy-bear-loving God, Gopher's face. His face. "Noah-sama's tense shoulders are sharper than they've ever been before!!"
So Noah then proceeds to whale on the Kishin for two straight pages, and holy shit, what the everloving fuck, Asura is TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY CALM throughout all of this. That's right, kids: Kishin Asura is officially the chillest motherfucker on the moon right now, and just waitaminute what the fuck isn't this supposed to be the guy who's like AFRAID OF FUCKING EVERYTHING or something?!
"DON'T EVEN TRY TA STRUGGLE!" Noah shouts, lifting Asura by his throat. Um, considering how calm Asura is about all of this, I really don't think Noah even needed to bother saying that. But whatever, right now Noah is a crazy dude who just got fused with a gigantic naked ant-lady, I think we can let him get away with all of the unnecessary spouting-lines-of-dubious-badassery that he wants. He's earned it.
"A HA HA! THIS IS GREAT!!" Noah screams. "NOW I'M GONNA FINALLY MAKE YOU MINE!"
"To defeat the Kishin himself so easily..." Sid says. "So this is the power of the BREW..."
"This certainly is an unexpected development," Akane says.
NO IT'S NOT.
"Yes, yes!" Index encourages Noah. "Now become one with him! Make the Kishin and the BREW become one!! What a wonderful feeling this new knowledge will be! What a wonderful expression of such a wonderful feeling as you take your prey!!"
And then finally, Asura speaks.
"Why do you still peck at me... The one radiating insanity... Is not you... Insanity is underneath... It's not here..."
"What are you TALKING ABOUT?!" Noah shouts. "SHUT UP!!"
"It's inside... Underneath... Underneath the Order that created me..."
Oh hey look another erudite reference to ontological pluralism I mean wait what HOLY FUCKING MANDIBLE-NIPPLE NAKED ANT MONSTER SHITTING SHIT FUCKSHIT NOAH LOOK BEHIND YOU
"Insane Blood," Crona says, because apparently the copious amounts of it dripping from Crona's mouth and eyes and nose aren't explanatory enough on their own.
"So you're the one who wants to succeed me," Asura says, calmly looking up at Crona. "If, that is, you can..."
TO BE CONTINUED ON NOVEMBER 12TH!
Also, Soul Eater volume 23 will be on sale in December. Just in time for Christmas!
ETA: This month's Gangan Mobile emoji bonus is Justin's face!
(*flips ahead*) Oh thank skateboarding Christ, it doesn't. All right, here we go!
"Thanks to the witches, we were finally able to annihilate the clown army... So our only remaining target is Kishin Asura himself..." Yes yes we know this already Tezca. Moving along.
Big Daddy orally molests some ellipses, then says, "All the seeds that I have sown..."
"Order has produced chaos..." Excalibur declares.
"The Death Room is a mirror that reflects the order in the real world..." Big Daddy says. "It reacts quite sensitively to disorder in the world."
"In mere moments, the outside world will begin to feel his influence too..." Excalibur says.
"He has awakened."
BA-DUM.
"The Kishin."
Hell yes.
Speaking of which, it's time to check in with Sid, Mira, and the Five Stooges! (I'm counting Index as one of the five stooges because he's stupid and his plot is stupid and his face is stupid.)
"The Kishin is in here," Sid says, repeating his line from two chapters ago.
"Yes," Akane agrees, because he is such a useful character and he totally has such a useful purpose for being on this mission, in this storyline, and in this manga altogether. So very useful and necessary is he.
Suddenly--
BA-DUM.
Oh my god Sid behind you-----!!!!!
And then--
BA-DUM.
Here it comes...... Maka think-bubbles.
"Can you feel that, Akane?" Sid asks.
"Yes..."
"Ku ku!" Index laughs. "Finally, he appears..."
"It's just beyond this darkness..." Akane says.
"It's getting closer..."
"Such an intense soul wavelength..."
"Thirty meters straight ahead of us... Yes, it's definitely coming closer..."
"Twenty meters..."
"Fifteen meters..."
"Ten meters..."
"Five meters..." Akane says. "No... Three meters?! Two meters?! That can't be!! At this close range we should be able to see him already!!"
Meanwhile, on the surface of the moon! "Ma... Maka..." Kid stutters. "Is it possible that my soul perception is mistaken, or...?"
"I... I feel it too..." Maka says. "I can feel the Kishin's wavelength so close to us, but... He's not here..."
Deep within the sinuses of the moon! "What is it?! What's wrong?!" Gopher asks Sid.
"One meter..." Akane says. "Sid-sensei..."
On the surface of the moon, Maka and Kid are FREAKING OUT, while Black Star's just standing there, like, making ellipses.
"Zero..." Akane says.
Aaaaaaaaaaand it's body horror time.
"He'll take the souls of the weak-willed ones first," Excalibur says. WHY DOES HE LOOK SO ADORABLE AND CHEERFUL WHEN HE SAYS THAT.
Back on the surface of the moon, Spirit looks about ready to puke his guts out. "Harden your will and steel your mind!" Stein says. "Don't let it get to you!!"
"Ugu," Akane says, clutching at his chest. And not the moe-moe kind of ugu either.
Hey, I told y'all that it was body horror time, right?
And on the next page, indeed it is.
"My replacement arm is coming undone..." Sid gasps. "It's gushing into my mouth......!!"
Dialogue on the next page: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
On the surface of the moon, pretty much NOBODY ELSE is faring any better.
Except for the Little Demon. He's pretty excited about all of this awesome shit going down. "Insanity doesn't attack you from the outside... It comes from inside of you...!!"
So then a whole bunch of Kishin-goo bursts out of Maka's left eye
and she
then she
just smashes it back into her face like the unbelievably chill badass that she is and proceeds to get right down to business. "Courage!!" she gasps, stomping down her foot decisively. "Soul!!"
Soul pulls out his arm-piano-blade.
"SOUL MEDITATION MELODY!!"
Boom. Take that, body horror.
One sparkly POWER OF LOVE-fueled explosion later, everybody is back to normal. Hooray!
"This can only give us temporary protection," Maka says as a few leftover sparkly note-shaped bursts of light float around her. She glares up at the nostrils of the moon's nose.
Inside the moon's nose, Sid and the Five Stooges are back to normal, too. Except that Sid suddenly realizes that Kishin Asura is now standing
RIGHT THE FUCK IN FRONT OF HIM HOLY FUCKSHIT
"Ki... Kishin!!" Sid gasps, managing to jump backwards, swipe with his stabby knife, and throw a flare at the Kishin all at the same time. Impressive.
And of course Asura is still standing there, totally unharmed, and showing absolutely no sign of reacting to this attack.
"Is this... Is this also a hallucination...?!"
Sid doesn't have time to test out his theory, though, because all of a sudden Noah has a rocket-powered magical book strapped to his ass and he is determined to prove that there is a point to him being in this manga no matter fucking what. "SO YOU'RE THE KISHIN!! I CAME ALL THE WAY TO THE GODDAMN MOON TO GET MY HANDS ON YOU!!"
Oh my god. These next three panels. These next three panels.
Noah is now minus one monster and minus one eyeball as well, but he's still grinning like a maniac. "To create such a shockwave with just one swing of your arm! You're just makin' me want you more and more, Asura!!"
"NOAH-SAMA!!" Gopher screams.
"Don't say my name with such a pathetic crybaby voice!" Noah says, summoning what has got to me the most grotesque call-out to Monotone Princess that Ohkubo could possibly have conceived of. And it looks AWESOME. Mandible-nipples and all.
"It's pointless!" Sid says, watching Noah do his whole suicidal attack-the-Kishin schtick. "He doesn't hold a candle to the Kishin's power level."
"It's NOT POINTLESS!!" Gopher screams at Sid's face, attempting to defend Noah-sama's honor.
"ATTACK ANT!!"
Asura seems unimpressed.
"No matter what you may throw at us, this book is still the treasure chest holding all the world's knowledge!" Index dramatically declares. "Knowledge can never die!! And if we use this BREW, then--!"
Then what?
"To know all knowledge at once is, as you can see, quite the power-up!!"
As we can see what?
"AAAAAAAAAAAH"
Oh, you mean that. That's what will happen.
"And then! AND THEN!" Oh yaaaaaay it's the return of bonkers-flavored Index! I was wondering when Index would go off his rocker again. (If he even has a butt to sit on a rocking chair with in the first place, I mean.) "Now the BREW will show its true abilities!! The knowing of all knowledge at once - in practical application - is the birth of a wholly new knowledge!!"
THAT'S what you'd call what's happening in the next panel?! Really, Index?!
"Noah-sama!!" Gopher gasps.
"THE ULTIMATE UNION!! TRUE BREW DISTILLATION!!"
(A pun which translates surprisingly well from Japanese into English, for once.)
Oh my zombie-teddy-bear-loving God, Gopher's face. His face. "Noah-sama's tense shoulders are sharper than they've ever been before!!"
So Noah then proceeds to whale on the Kishin for two straight pages, and holy shit, what the everloving fuck, Asura is TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY CALM throughout all of this. That's right, kids: Kishin Asura is officially the chillest motherfucker on the moon right now, and just waitaminute what the fuck isn't this supposed to be the guy who's like AFRAID OF FUCKING EVERYTHING or something?!
"DON'T EVEN TRY TA STRUGGLE!" Noah shouts, lifting Asura by his throat. Um, considering how calm Asura is about all of this, I really don't think Noah even needed to bother saying that. But whatever, right now Noah is a crazy dude who just got fused with a gigantic naked ant-lady, I think we can let him get away with all of the unnecessary spouting-lines-of-dubious-badassery that he wants. He's earned it.
"A HA HA! THIS IS GREAT!!" Noah screams. "NOW I'M GONNA FINALLY MAKE YOU MINE!"
"To defeat the Kishin himself so easily..." Sid says. "So this is the power of the BREW..."
"This certainly is an unexpected development," Akane says.
NO IT'S NOT.
"Yes, yes!" Index encourages Noah. "Now become one with him! Make the Kishin and the BREW become one!! What a wonderful feeling this new knowledge will be! What a wonderful expression of such a wonderful feeling as you take your prey!!"
And then finally, Asura speaks.
"Why do you still peck at me... The one radiating insanity... Is not you... Insanity is underneath... It's not here..."
"What are you TALKING ABOUT?!" Noah shouts. "SHUT UP!!"
"It's inside... Underneath... Underneath the Order that created me..."
Oh hey look another erudite reference to ontological pluralism I mean wait what HOLY FUCKING MANDIBLE-NIPPLE NAKED ANT MONSTER SHITTING SHIT FUCKSHIT NOAH LOOK BEHIND YOU
"Insane Blood," Crona says, because apparently the copious amounts of it dripping from Crona's mouth and eyes and nose aren't explanatory enough on their own.
"So you're the one who wants to succeed me," Asura says, calmly looking up at Crona. "If, that is, you can..."
TO BE CONTINUED ON NOVEMBER 12TH!
Also, Soul Eater volume 23 will be on sale in December. Just in time for Christmas!
ETA: This month's Gangan Mobile emoji bonus is Justin's face!
Re: Using your translation
Oh, who am I kidding, the answer is no. I've answered this question many times before. Let me repeat: I don't support scanslations, I don't even write my translations in a style that works in scanslations (and if you think my translations *would* work when edited straight into the manga word bubbles then, to be bluntly honest, that speaks rather poorly for your skills as an editor and scanslator). So the answer is still, for the umpteenth time, no.
I appreciate that you offered to give me credit for my work, which is leagues better than shitty translation-thieves like Bleachh do. But I'm sorry, the answer is still no.