Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch, Del Rey volumes 2 and 3 Review
Wow, I can't believe how long it took me to getting around to doing this. Volume 2 has been out since July, and Volume 4 just came out this week. So yeah, I fell pretty far behind with my reading. But, anyway, here goes: Review/Comments on the official English version of Pichi Pichi Pitch, volumes 2 and 3.
First off, the presentation of both volumes is excellent, as usual. Del Rey's version of the manga is larger than the Japanese tankouban, and printed on heavier paper. Del Rey uses the same front and back cover artwork as the Japanese release, combined with a stylish, mod layout. Very nice.
Deliberate Edits that you can tell were Deliberate--
In Volume 2, a good chunk of the "Special Short Story" on page 13 is cut out of the Del Rey version. This is probably due to the limitations of text space (i.e., you can fit more Japanese text into a given space than you can English text). For those who are curious, Hippo's first line and Kaito's only line are cut out, and then Hippo's last line is edited to make it not sound like a response to Kaito's line.
In Chapter 8, I don't know why they left "uranai" untranslated. It's just weird. Well, I can understand the space considerations. "Uranai" does take up a lot less space than "fortune-telling." But still.
Lucia's mangled Japanese on Volume 2 page 87 was translated into something entirely different ("My head hurts from Lumbago!") in Del Rey's version. But that's understandable as those linguistic puns tend not to translate well.
Next, Kaito's profile. In Japanese, it says that he likes "sunao" girls. There are a lot of different ways to translate sunao, none of them particularly enlightened or politically correct. (Hey, Kaito's kind of a caveman that way.) I went with "gentle, docile" on my translation. Del Rey went with "low maintenance." Neither of which is particularly flattering to Kaito. ;)
Volume 3, page 148 - Del Rey did not keep the fact that Mitsuki interrupted his "good morning" to Lucia et. al in order to verbally glomp Kaito. In the Japanese version, Mitsuki's dialouge was like, "Oh, Houshou-san, good mor... DOUMOTO-KUN!! GOOD MORNING!!" Whereas in the Del Rey version it's "Houshou-san, Good morning... to all of you. DOUMOTO-KUN!! GOOD MORNING!!" I like the cut-off version better because it's cuter. :)
Volume 3, page 186 - Del Rey turned a lame-ass joke in the Japanese version into a kick-ass pun in the English version. Bravo!
Outright Changes and Mistakes--
I'm going to lump "changes that I can't tell were deliberate or not" and "mistakes" together, since I can't tell what might have been changed on purposes versus what might have been a genuine mistake on the translator's part. So here we go.
As I read the Del Rey version of volumes 2 and 3, I caught a lot - A LOT - of mistakes that I made in my own translation of the manga. But I also found a couple of mistakes in the Del Rey version. (For the record, though, I made a hella lot more mistakes than William Flanagan did!) Unfortunately, I also found more changes/mistakes in volumes 2 and 3 than were in volume 1. Most of the these involved switching the passive form of a verb with the active form, which, you know, totally changes the meaning of a sentence.
For example:
Volume 2, page 169: Mitsuki's song is dedicated to Sara, not a gift from Sara. Kind of important, as a) Hanon and Mitsuki both discuss how sad the song is, and b) Mitsuki goes on to enter that song as an "Original Composition" in a music contest, and win. Also, quite a big deal is made of how Mitsuki is using the song to convey his feelings to Sara.
Volume 3, page 114: The Panthalassa were sealed by Aqua Regina, they are not planning to seal Aqua Regina.
Volume 3, page 168: Sara threw away the world, she wasn't thrown away by Mitsuki. Well, okay, she WILL go on to deliver that line later, but the point is, that's not her line on page 168.
Okay, so, other than the passive/active mix-ups, here were some more mistakes and changes:
Kaito's mother. On Volume 2 page 90 in the Japanese version, Hanon says that Kaito's mother was an organist. In the Del Rey version, this is changed to "violinist." I really couldn't say why this was changed. Is an organist not cool enough, or something? Or maybe a "violinist" sounds more feminine? (I would hope that wasn't the reason. Really.) And you know, this is kind of a big deal, because in chapter 08 Maria lures first Kaito and then the mermaids to a church by playing Kaito's mother's music on the church pipe organ. In the Del Rey version, Kaito still hears Maria playing the organ and thinks to himself, "That's my mother's song!" Der, organ!
Volume 3 page 49: In the Japanese version, Lucia complains that Hanon told her that a scandalous swimsuit was necessary to win the Mermaid competition. In the Del Rey version, Lucia complains that Hanon told her that she "wasn't used to normal swimsuits."
Volume 3 page 178: Rina tells Caren "See you later" in the Japanese version, but for some reason Del Rey wrote this as "Wait a moment, Caren." Which makes no sense as they are walking away from each other, Caren doesn't wait, and Rina has no reason to tell her to wait.
Volume 3 page 184: Oooooh, typo! Kaito's word bubble is repeated twice, the text accidentally entered into one of Lucia's word bubbles.
Well, that's it for Volumes 2 and 3. Volume 4 will be coming soon, hopefully.

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Hello, Kotetsu! Remember me?
I'm glad you could review the English manga, since I'm still a big fan of the series. Seems Del Rey is doing a decent job, despite those last few... Erm, mistakes... >_>
Volume 4's been out, as you already know, but I anxiously await the second and third story arcs. ^-^
See ya later!
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Thanks for stopping by!
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(Anonymous) 2007-05-13 05:43 am (UTC)(link)no subject
Hi!
(Anonymous) 2007-05-26 03:38 am (UTC)(link)Kaito
(Anonymous) 2007-05-30 06:40 am (UTC)(link)great journal
(Anonymous) 2007-07-18 07:32 am (UTC)(link)Re: great journal
Lucia
(Anonymous) 2007-09-23 11:00 am (UTC)(link)Re: Lucia
Wat season r the mangas in?
(Anonymous) 2007-12-11 09:07 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Wat season r the mangas in?
http://boukenshin.net/pitch/story.php
hi
(Anonymous) 2008-07-25 09:29 pm (UTC)(link)Another Typo
(Anonymous) 2008-08-01 06:36 pm (UTC)(link)It should be wonder, not wounder. Just wondering if you noticed that.
Re: Another Typo
(Anonymous) 2008-08-02 08:43 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Another Typo