Football Version of No Child Left Behind

[nenena]

Shamelessly copied and pasted from an email forward:

No Child Left Behind _ Football Version

The football version of what is going on in public education in the United States right now. (If you are not an educator; this may not make a lot of sense to you. But send it to your friends who are in education. They will love it!)

1. All teams must make the state playoffs and all MUST win the championship.

If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable. If after two years they have not won the championship their footballs and equipment will be taken away UNTIL they do win the championship.

2. All kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the same time, even if they do not have the same conditions or opportunities to practice on their own.

NO exceptions will be made for lack of interest in football, a desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or disabilities of themselves or their parents. ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL!

3. Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in the 4th, 8th, and 11th game.

This will create a New Age of Sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimum goals. If no child gets ahead, then no child is left behind. If parents do not like this new law, they are encouraged to vote for vouchers and support private schools that can screen out the non - athletes and prevent their children from having to go to school with bad football players.

Comments

[lost-angelwings.livejournal.com]

The funny/sad part is that if this WAS a kids football league, the same ppl who like NCLB would be screaming about communism, feminized society, marxism, evil liberals, and blah blah blah and how this is abs unhelpful -_-;;;

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not an educator and I don't live in USA, but I understood
That's how schools in USA work?
And I thought that only the schools in my contry do things like that ¬¬

[nenena.livejournal.com]

It's pretty oversimplified, but yeah, that's the rough idea.

[dragonmage87.livejournal.com]

Ugh...well that sure explains why schools are going down the tube. Although, the school I work for had their test scores go up, but that was mostly due to the magnet section of the school. Either way, a bunch of admins were given mohawks in front of the student body, with news crews to film the whole thing. We'll see if that happens again next year.

lkartillery

[(Anonymous)]

Holy damn, I gotta show this to my mom. She's an elementary school teacher.

We live in Arizona... I'm sure this state is pretty infamous by now for its lousy education support and all of the myriad issues that have arised as well. She's actually moving to Colorado because she can't support us with the money she makes in AZ... afdhghgf.

It's sad because she loves the kids and the job, but then all I ever seem to hear are horror stories about how ridiculous the NCLB standards make things.

[duelsoul.livejournal.com]

Despite saying only educators can understand this, I believe I get the gist of it.

I bet some of education students at uni would enjoy this, thanks for sharing.