nenena | Soul Eater Chapter 84: "Courage is dicksauce."

That is a literal translation of an actual line in this chapter. A literal translation.

So hey kids, guess what? Today I learned a new word in Japanese! That word is chinkasu and after clicking on that link now YOU all know what it means, too!

SOUL EATER: IT'S EDUCATIONAL.

But before we being our recap of this month's chapter, we have to talk about something. Something that is not dicksauce.

First, look at that cover illustration.

Just look at it. (There's a textless version posted here in case you need it.)

Okay, so now that we've all done the obligatory double-take and realized where Crona's headphones are coming from and what they're made out of, we are suddenly faced with this terribly perplexing question:

What. The. Hell. Is. Crona. Listening. To?!

And is there anything that Ragnarok can't turn himself into? (ETA: The answer is "apparently not!")

So this chapter opens with Soul narrating in word bubbles written in the EVIL VOICE FONT. Hello there, EVIL VOICE FONT! "It's here... Ha ha!! Not even the weatherman could've predicted a storm this big!! I'm ain't just your claim to fame, I'm the one who destroys your life! Wait, was that it? What am I? What am I to you? Am I really scarin' you yet?" WELL THIS IS CERTAINLY COHERENT AND NOT AT ALL ALARMING. "Don't I make you feel terrified?"

"Professor..." Kim says.

"Kim, fall back. I will use Jackie."

"R... Roger..." Jackie says.

The scar that Crona gave him has opened up and insanity is pouring out of it... Maka think-bubbles. "SOUL, YOU IDIOT!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!"

Oh, that is an excellently creepy face-turn. "Nuthin's wrooooong... Just kinda huuuuurts... Been all frozen up 'till now... Now it's gushin' oooouuuuut..."

"Here he comes," Stein says.

Aaaaaaand Soul gets effortlessly smacked down by Stein and Jackie after one attack.

Or maybe not so effortlessly. "Ugh!" Jackie grunts, blood spurting from her shoulder, as Stein suddenly realizes that she's been hurt.

"JACKIE!!" Kim shouts.

"So this is me..." Soul grins. "This is a deathscythe's 'power'..."

"His strength as a weapon is on a completely different level than mine," Jackie admits.

"I'm sorry," Stein says, apparently apologizing for using part of Jackie to block Soul's armblade (which was why she got hurt?). "Are you all right? I had no idea that he could become so... fascinating," Stein says, grinning creepily. "I'm startin' to want to dissect him now."

Meanwhile, inside the Black Room! "Goddammit... What now?" Soul asks. I kind of love the not this shit again! expression on his face. "What the hell is happening to me...?"

And Little Oni is all like, HEY KIDS. NOT SO LITTLE ANYMORE.

Soul is unimpressed.

Big Oni is still going to try to intimidate us by talking in the EVIL VOICE FONT, though! "Things are finally gettin' serious now!" Big Oni cackles. "The blood is really roarin' this time! Now you're lettin' loose and lettin' that madness allllll out. Feels pretty great, doesn't it?"

"Gimme a break," Soul says. "This isn't even the real me."

"Huh? Give me a break," Big Oni says, throwing Soul's disbelief right back at him. "So then who are you, huh? What kinda guy are you really?"

"Hey asshole, since when did you get so goddamn big?"

"Stop trying to change the subject, Shortstuff! Answer my question, you freakin' midget! Who ARE you?"

Meanwhile, in Moscow! I can't guard myself with Jacqueline... Stein think-bubbles. GEE MAYBE THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD'VE COME TO MOSCOW WITH A DEATHSCYTHE OF YOUR OWN I MEAN IT'S NOT LIKE YOUR PARTNER MARIE IS DOING ANYTHING ELSE RIGHT NOW oh sheebus I thought that we were finished with the adults being phenomenally stupid and unprepared in the last story arc. Apparently not.

I'll just have to destroy his ability to attack me! Stein strategerizes. Apparently this involves attempting to set Soul's arm on fire.

It doesn't work.

"......!! This is... It's a sound......!!" Stein grimaces. "He's transmitting insanity with that sound now. And I can already feel myself getting pulled in..."

SUDDENLY

KIM

CUDDLEHUG-NO-JUTSU!!♥!!!♥♥!

Jackie is scandalized. "Kim! What are you DOING?!"

"With my healing magic I can dilute the insanity inside of Stein-sensei!" Besides, if I don't take THIS opportunity to hug him, I'll never have another chance to get the Professor all hot and bothered for me!

"Okay see this is EXACTLY why I told you to stop flir--"

SUDDENLY

MAKA

CUDDLEHUG-NO-JUTSU!!♥!!!♥♥!

oh my god

Stein's face

"It's really hard for me to transfer it to another Meister, but I'll still support you with my anti-demon wavelength as much as I can!" Maka says. Besides, if the Professor goes insane then Soul is going to get all cut up into little bitty pieces!

"This is somewhat of a hindrance..." Stein says. Holy shit. His face. His face.

"So jealous..." Humbert Humbert sighs in the background.

"I do admit, it is rather soothing..." Stein says.

And then Soul turns his arm blade into a keyboard.

"He turned his blade into a keyboard?!" Maka says.

oh my god

those notes

look AWESOME

But fortunately the combined powers of Maka and Kim's CUDDLEHUG-NO-JUTSU evaporate the music notes before they can smash Stein in the face. He's using sound again....?!

Yeah, uh, that's kind of his thing. You know. That's kind of always been Soul's thing.

And this time the power of Soul's piano playing is SO INCREDIBLE that it actually manages to blow Stein, Kim, and Maka BACKWARDS several steps. "He's using the force of his soundwaves to attack us..." Stein explains. "For him to be able to unleash a sound of this magnitude even when fighting without a Meister is..." Stein grins. "Maka, your soul perception ability might have been amplified because of your resonance with Soul, too."

Maka is like, LIGHTBULB.

Then she grins a sneaky grin. "How come you're acting like you just figured this out now, Professor? Me and Soul know that we've always been boosting each other's abilities this whole time. Right, Soul?"

Soul is like, DRUNK FACE.

Then music go boom.

When the smoke clears, Stein is now holding Kim, Maka, and Jackie aloft. "Wow, Professor, you must be really strong to be able to hold up two heavy people at the same time!" Jackie exclaims.

"Did you just say 'heavy'?" Kim pouts.

"Maka..." Stein says. "What, in your expert opinion, is the condition of Soul's soul at this moment?"

"Um---" Maka stares at Soul. "He hasn't completely dissolved into the insanity yet. Deep down inside of his soul I can see him still fighting back... He WILL come back to us."

SPEAKING OF WHICH

Big Oni looms over Soul. "Are you afraid to really get serious?" Big Oni taunts. "You're afraid to have the worth of your true self tested, aren't ya? You were always like that... You endured a goddamn lot of shit to hold back your black blood, to hold back your insanity... But that was just a pretext you came up with... No matter what you did, you only did it with eight-tenths of your effort. Even something like freakin' eating you only did with eight-tenths of your effort."

Oni's really on a psychoanalytical tear now. "You said it yourself... You were born into a musical family but you would never be as good as him... You said that yourself, didn't ya... So they really said that about you, huh? Or... didn't they? You freakin' ran away. You never put any real effort into it because that way you'd never have to face the moment when you'd be unable to live up to him. And you were afraid of damaging your family's reputation, of wounding the pride behind the 'Evans' pedigree, weren't ya? You always want a good excuse, don't ya? The only thing you ever think about is finding a way out of whatever it is you hafta do. If you only do things half-heartedly then you always got a convenient explanation for why you suck, dontcha? You're like a freakin' gazelle or somethin, always runnin' from place to place."

Soul is making sadface.

"Soooo, how does it feel now?" Big Oni continues to taunt. "This is what you could be like if you did it for real. This is 'power'. The thing that's supposed to overcome insanity is freakin' 'courage' or whatever? Gimme a break. You can't beat your insane blood with a load of dicksauce like that."

And hey kids, guess what?

"Load of dicksauce" is a LITERAL TRANSLATION of that line. Yes. YES, REALLY. Big Oni just called "courage" a "load of chinkasu" which literally translates as "a lot of smegma, yo."

And having just wordvomitted the most disgusting line in Soul Eater that I have ever had to translate, Big Oni is now ready for his grand finale. "IT'S TIME TO AWAKEN THE REAL DEMON INSIDE OF YOU!! THIS AIN'T ABOUT TRYIN' TO HOLD BACK THE INSANITY ANYMORE! I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT IT'S LIKE TO OWN YOUR INSANITY!! I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT IT MEANS TO REALLY

DO IT

SERIOUSLY

FOR REAL!!!"

His jaws open around Soul's head, Big Oni's voice drops back to a normal EVIL VOICE FONT register. "So I'm gonna ask ya one last time... Who are you?"

"Fine," Soul says. "I get it. So that's your deal, huh... "

And then, realization. "!! Huh?"

Oh my god.

"So you never actually got any bigger, did you," Soul says.

BUSTED.

"Nah, but see," Little Oni says, "You're the one who made this ridiculous thing." The Onibot pops out of existence and Little Oni is suddenly little again - even more little than before. "That's what happens when you come here to face me without having been completely absorbed by the insanity yet."

"And by the way, your psychoanalysis sucks," Soul says. "I didn't throw away the Evans name because I was running away. I did it to make a *~distinction~*."

Little Oni grins. "So, then, who are you?"

"I am the Demon Scythe, Soul Eater."

"The insanity stopped oozing out of his scar!" Maka exclaims.

"Ugh, how sloppy," Little Oni says. "Would it kill you to have a little more flair when you say that? At least you should use a big loud voice when you declare your name like that."

"Sorry about that, little guy," Soul says. "But being unable to say it like that is part of who I am, too."

Maka is unimpressed.

And now Soul has a concussion.

"That HURTS!!" Soul snarls. "What the HELL do you think you're DOIN'?!"

"Just because you got your insanity under control doesn't give you the right to stand around looking all smug and show-offy like that," Maka huffs.

"LIKE THAT'S REALLY A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO GIVE ME A CONCUSSION!"

"NO, THAT WAS PAYBACK FOR PULLING MY HAIR YOU IDIOT!!!"

"SO THEN WHAT ARE YOU KICKING ME FOR??!?"

Stein turns to Humbert Humbert. "Raise the danger ratings of the black spheres from 'A' to 'S' immediately. Lock down the entire campus! And give everyone an order to evacuate immediately."

"Yes, sir!"

But, suddenly! "We've got a situation! In Ukraine... In a town in Ukraine!! The Demon Sword was sighted there!!"

"Crona...?" Maka gasps.

MEANWHILE, IN UKRAINE!

"This... This is something that a single human being did?"

Yes.

Yes, it is.

And now this chapter is over and so is the recap. I don't have a clever conclusion to this post, so, uh: HUMBERT HUMBERT HUMBERT HUMBERT CUDDLEHUG-NO-JUTSU DICKSAUCE.

There. I'm glad I could get that out of my system.

Also: SIGNALBOOST SIGNALBOOST SIGNALBOOST SIGNALBOOST SIGNALBOOST SIGNALBOOST SIGNALBOOST SIGNALBOOST! Y'all can get some awesome Soul Eater fannish stuff from the

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