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Soul Eater Chapter 77: "Now I don't have to listen to what my dick thinks of you anymore!"
You know, sometimes I have to actually put some cognitive effort toward the task of coming up with clever titles for these recap posts. And sometimes I can just take an actual line of dialogue from the chapter and slap it up there as the title for this post, because really, the dialogue speaks for itself.
Also in this chapter: Ohkubo finds an all-new way to violate the rules of Japanese punctuation, we all learn an educational lesson about Phantom Erection Syndrome (yes, this is a real thing), and, for that extra Michael Bay touch, there is an exploding piano.
Among other things that explode.
Okay, let's roll. Another month, another Maka on the cover of Shounen Gangan.
This time we have Maka adopting the Black Rock Shooter look, complete with borrowing Kid's triple-stripe motif, although nothing about this image is either a straight-forward cribbing of Black Rock Shooter or any of Kid's looks because there are just too many oddities about the image to be able to call it that. First, there is the epic 90's-superhero-comic look of the ridiculously unneccessary big jacket on top of a tiny tiny smaller jacket. ETA: Scratch that, it's not actually a gigantic jacket at all! As![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
olgiebear pointed out in the comments, Maka is actually wearing a headscarf with looooooong tails that are swirling behind her. Although she is still wearing a black jacket on top of her brown jacket, it's just that BOTH jackets are actually small jackets, which looks doubly ridiculous. Unless that tiny tiny smaller jacket is actually Maka's shirt that she's wearing unbuttoned for some reason. Also, the headscraf tails = Maka's obligatory swirling coat tails, of course. Then there's her epic belt buckle. Then there's whatever the hell she's holding in her right hand, which looks an awful lot like the handle of her father's scythe form, although with the bottom of the image obscured by Gangan's furoku announcements it's impossible to tell.
TL;DR version: The cover of this month's Shounen GanGan shows Maka flashing her bra at the readers while stroking her father's shaft with her right hand.
Well, at least this month's cover is more subtle than last month's cover, which showed Maka rubbing her crotch with the Little Oni's decapitated head.
Oh, Ohkubo.
Moving on. Interior color page: Another confirmation that Excalibur is one of the five surviving Great Old Ones. Blah blah blah, we already figured that out months ago.
It's time for some epic mangled punctuation!
So this is the first page of the chapter, punctuation intact:
That boy---...
Descended from the shinigami,
Seeks the ultimate of all "rules."
And that boy---...
Seeking the ultimate "power,"
Aims to become a bushin.
Finally they clash...!!
Oh fuck me with a rusty spoon. This chapter is going to painful. I can tell already.
So, four pages after that mess! Black Star is actually walking on water for, like, all of one panel. The next panel, however, the water is suddenly up to his stomach. "Water?" Black Star comments.
I guess. I mean, why not?
Completely submerged now, Black Star think-bubbles, What the hell is this...? I can still breathe just fine... Meh, guess there's no problem then... Not only can he breathe underwater, but apparently he can speak, too. "Hey, Kid!! I went to all of this trouble reading some crappy book just so that I could come here and save your sorry ass... So let's just get out of this place..."
Kid is like, Batman face.
"So it looks like you're not going to do what I tell you to do, huh..." Weird, he's taking so few breaths it's like he's barely breathing at all...
Kid glares at Black Star and says, "You're too big..."
oh
oh my god
Ladies and gentlemen, start your snickering.
YOU'RE. TOO. BIG.
(That's whatshe Soul said.)
And with a total lack of any sort of transition save for the usual flashback-inducing black background, it is now flashback time! "Our duty---..." Shinigami-sama says, managing to orally molest both of Ohkubo's favorite punctuation abuse victims at the same time, "is to administer over the life and death of humans. The purpose of our existence is to impose absolute order---... Well, you could say it like that. But that's not the real story, Kid."
"I understand, Father," Kid says. "The most important thing is balance!!"
A panel later, Kid is older, I guess. "So that kid is Shinigami-sama's son, huh..." somebody comments. "As expected, he looks so highly-skilled and gifted." Somebody else adds, "It's like he exists on a level so much higher than us, we couldn't even begin to compete..."
Kid orally molests some ellipses.
I wonder how many of the flashback commentators know that he failed his written exam because he couldn't even write his name on the top of it. Come on, guys. You can compete with this loser. Really, you can. If you can leave your house in the morning without having to spend three hours straightening your picture frames and folding your toilet paper rolls first, then you can compete with Death the Kid.
Really.
In the next flashback panel, Black Star is yelling at Kid. "Hey, Kid!! I don't care if your God's son or whatever. I'm gonna SURPASS all the gods!! I'm gonna be the one standing on top of the final mountain peak!! You got that?!"
Kid is not impressed. "Hmph. As if," he says. Then he smiles to himself and think-bubbles, Going to surpass the gods, huh... What an interesting fellow.
"WHAT THE HELL?! HEY, YOU!!" Black Star keeps yelling. "You just smiled!! Are you mocking me?! If you wanna fight then let's do it right now!!"
Kid's smile widens. "As if I would ever mock you," he says. "But I'll certainly spar with you any time that you wish!!"
Back to the present. Well at least this time Ohkubo was arsed to make a proper transition. Kid tells Black Star, "From this point onward I am creating a proper 'nothing.' Your existence is too big for me. Therefore I will have to erase you now."
Also, I actually did not include this in the translation, but guess what Ohkubo did to Kid's word bubble in the middle of this page?
A MISSING PERIOD. That's what he did.
A MISSING GODDAMN FUCKING PERIOD.
Here's a quick Japanese punctuation 101 lesson for y'all: In manga it is acceptable to omit the period at the end of a sentence if that sentence is the only sentence within a particular word bubble OR if the sentence ends with an obvious sentence-final grammatical particle. But when there is more than one sentence in a word bubble, you HAVE to include punctuation at the end of each sentence OR an obvious sentence-final particle. Said punctuation can be a period, an exclamation point, an unnecessary ellipses, a ridiculous mutant amalgam of a dash and ellipses, or whatever. If you omit the final punctuation separating two sentences in your word bubble, however, and the first of your two sentences does NOT end with an obvious sentence-final particle, then you end up with a run-on like so:
"From this point onward I am creating a proper 'nothing' your existence is too big for me."
No, I am not kidding, that is ACTUALLY WHAT IS WRITTEN inside Kid's word bubble on this page.
I think the missing period in this word bubble is particularly ironic considering that in the previous four pages of manga EVERY SINGLE DECLARATIVE SENTENCE in EVERY SINGLE WORD BUBBLE has ended not with a period, but rather with ellipses, which translates to an overabundance of periods in every word bubble. With that many extraneous periods being barfed all over the dialogue, why the hell couldn't Ohkubo have been arsed to put one measly little period in a place where it's actually SUPPOSED to go?!
But I digress. Back to Kid telling Black Star that he's going to kill him. "Whew. That's a relief to hear," Black Star says.
Kid is like, confused Batman face?
"Even when your head has gotten all screwed up like this, you still recognize me as your sparring partner." Black Star grins. "When I used to say 'I'm gonna surpass the gods!' then everybody would laugh at me. Lots of guys would get pissed off or just ignore me, too---... But then the you, a god yourself, ended up being the one who took me the most seriously. 'Cause you know best of all that I really am going to surpass the gods."
"No," Kid says. "You're nothing but an annoyance now."
"Huh... Is that so."
Black Star is very unimpressed by the HOLY FUCKING SHIT SINCE WHEN WAS THE MARIANA TRENCH IN THE BOOK OF EIBON I MEAN WHAT THE HELL OHKUBO SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL suddenly opening up beneath his feet. "I'm gonna surpass the gods!!" Black Star proclaims. "I AM THE GREATEST!!"
"LOATHSOME NUISANCE!!" Kid shoots back. And then he kicks Black Star in the face.
Black Star does his best pencil-chicken-butterfly stroke in the water as he recovers. "I can still breathe... And when I'm holding still it feels like I'm standing still... But when I move it definitely feels like I'm moving underwater... This is going to be tough," Black Star says, as he watches Kid move through the water with ease. Also, Black Star looks pretty badass in that Captain Exposition hat. He pulls back his fist and fires himself up. "Okay, so how about this?"
Yeah, how about that?
It appears as though the energy of his soul wavelength is conducted more strongly through water than through air, Kid realizes.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
OH SHIT WHOOPS
Suddenly this whole "trap Black Star underwater to impair his fighting ability" strategy is made of EPIC FAIL. I love it.
(So, time to poll the audience: Whose bright idea do you think the water trap was in the first place? Is this Gooberkins's strategy or did Kid come up with it?)
Meanwhile, Black Star is like ^_____________________________________________^
"WHOA!! CHECK THAT OUT!! IT'S LIKE I CAN SHOOT A BEAM OUT OF MY HAND!! KICK ASS!!" Then he stops himself. "Wait, I didn't come here to fight Kid. I came here to bring him back with me... Didn't I...?"
WHY HELLO THERE SLEEPER OF THE ABYSS
HOW YOU DOIN' DOWN THERE
SLEEPIN' IN THAT ABYSS
Or maybe not so much with the sleeping anymore.
Black Star suddenly realizes that he is about to be assaulted by a veritable shower curtain of mouth-tentacles. "What the... Who..."
No, no, I think that "what" was the more appropriate question, actually.
"You bastard!!" Kid protests. "Don't you dare interfere!!"
Gooberkins turns his head and gives Kid an epic Bitch, please glare.
Kid freezes in place. "...What? I can't move..."
Gooberkins turns his attention back toward Black Star. "I grant 'power' with fair impartiality," Gooberkins says. Well, uh, how noble of him. Not like he apparently engineered this whole fiasco because he's a pervy old tentacle god who gets his jollies off by watching adolescent boys whale on each other or anything. "What is the 'power' which you seek?" Gooberkins asks.
"What?" Black Star asks.
A few panels later, he gets it. "The power that I seek---..."
Is the power to abuse punctuation, apparently. Okay, so I guess this confirms that Gooberkins is officially doing it all for the lulz? I mean, he's probably got a bowl of popcorn down there in that abyss of his and I bet he's been waiting for an opportunity to instigate an insanity-fueled cockfight between two crazy overpowered shounen manga protagonists for some time now. But can we really blame Gooberkins for his uncontrollable trolling impulses? It must have been really boring being stuck inside the ninth chapter of the Book of Eibon for who knows how long, and this is probably the only method that Gooberkins could come up with to entertain himself.
I'm willing to bet money that by the time that this arc is finished and somebody - possibly Shinigami-sama himself - is ready to lay the smackdown upon our favorite tentacle goo monster, Gooberkins is going to try to excuse himself with "it was just a social experiment!"
But anywhoo, back to the Sloth chapter.
Last time that we left Soul and Maka, shit had just gotten real! Now Giricco is giggling madly as she watches Maka crawl on the ground. "I finally found it... A place where I can finally unleash eight hundred years of murderous intent... I've always been waiting for this... Even as I endlessly kept replacing my bodies, I was still waiting... For an impatient guy like me, it drove me crazy having to wait... The only reason that I could endure the waiting and restrain myself was because Arachne was with me---... And YOU'RE the ones who got rid of that!!" Giricco grins. "I ain't ever been able to channel eight hundreds years of murderous intent into an attack before!! NOW GIMME A GOOD FIGHT TO ENJOY!!"
Yeah, Maka's pretty pwned right now. "I ain't gonna finish you off quickly!!" Giricco says, helpfully explaining to us readers why she didn't just kill Maka when Maka was lying completely helpless at her feet moments before. "Torture them!! Torture them!!" So I guess Giricco is yelling at herself now. "Fucking enjoy this!! Kill them!! But not yet!! Hold back!! Hold back!! Even though you're drowning in murder soup you gotta hold some back from your attack!! I feel like all my blood vessels are gonna rupture!" Yeah, and she's foaming at the mouth, too. Just saying. "Even though it feels like you're at the limit, you gotta hold back!!" Okay, that doesn't seem like a very good idea. Just saying.
"Can you see it?!" Giricco keeps yelling. "I've got a huuuuuuge fucking saw rising outta my crotch right now!! BUT AIN'T I A CHICK NOW?! GYA HA?!"
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow
WHY HELLO THERE PHANTOM LIMB SYNDROME
HERE IS A CONTEXT THAT I NEVER EXPECTED TO FIND YOU MENTIONED IN
(Although a quick Google search reveals that yes, indeed, Phantom Limb Syndrom can apply to penises, specifically to the feeling of having an erection. Soul Eater: IT'S EDUCATIONAL!)
Meanwhile, Soul is all like, "OMG Maka are you all right?!" And Maka answers: "Yes." This is an obvious lie. "I just took too much of the brunt of her attack, that's all. I think our bigger concern right now, though, should be her AWESOMELY HUGE SOUL WAVELENGTH."
"You wanna try to drown out his wavelength with that 'Soul Adagio' trick again?" Little Oni suggests.
"I know, I know!!" Soul says. "I'm trying to do it right now..."
"I'M GONNA SLICE YOU AND DICE YOU UP INTO ITTY-BITTY PIECES!!" Giricco screams. "I'M GONNA MANGLE AND MINCE YOU UP 'TILL YOU'RE DEAD MEAT!!"
"Maka!! Gimme his wavelength!!" Soul says.
"Got it!!"
Yeah except that actually backfires rather spectacularly this time. Soul is like "WTF WHY IS THE PIANO TRYING TO KILL ME" and then two panels later, piano goes BOOM.
Oh my god.
You guys.
LITTLE ONI'S SAD-PUPPY FACE. D'aaaaawwwww. Poor widdle black blood baby demon just got his magical brain piano boom-boomed.
"SOUL?!" Maka shouts.
"OW MY EARS," Soul says. I assume that this is a result of the piano exploding in his face and not, you know, Maka screaming at him on top of everything else.
Meanwhile, Giricco is celebrating his newfound Michael Bay-esque powers to make absolutely anything and everything that he touches explode. "NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW!! NOBODY CAN STOP ME NOW!!"
"It's no use..." Soul says. "He can overcome any sound that I can make from my piano." Yeah, uh, and also the fact that you have no more piano. Because it just exploded. In your face.
Right, so. Three pages of bombastic destruction later, Maka is covered in blood and Giricco is gloating. "As if a little thing like you could withstand my eight hundred years worth of murderous intent..."
"MAKA!!" Soul shouts.
Maka sinks to her knees. This is bad... I can't raise my arms... I can't stand up anymore... I'm going to be killed like this---...
Giricco grabs Maka's head, lifts her up, and--
WHY HELLO THERE PANEL OF MAKA'S WOUNDED THIGHS HANGING IN A GRATUITOUSLY SEXY POSE
GODDAMMIT OHKUBO SHE'S LIKE FOURTEEN YEARS OLD
GODDAMMIT OHKUBO GRAVITY AND LEGS DON'T WORK LIKE THAT
GODDAMMIT OHKUBO
GODDAMMIT
"Aa~~ah," Giricco says. "Some little fourteen- or fifteen-year-old girl's body all covered in wounds. A little brat like this is the one who ate Arachne's soul... No fucking way..."
"Aaa... Aa.." Maka says, as Giricco tightens her grip around Maka's skull.
"Had enough?" Giricco asks. "You want me to just kill you now? The thing is, I'm having so much fun torturing you that I'm kinda starting to feel some affection for you... But I've reached the limit of my ability to hold back... I think I've had enough fun already... If I hold back any more than this, all the fun stuff is just gonna start to hurt too much. I'll kill you... I'll kill you... It's okay, I don't have to hold back anymore..."
And then Soul pops out of the scythe blade and kicks Giricco in the arm.
Giricco drops Maka and reels backwards. "You little shit!! What are doing, trying to interfere with this?! This is a girls-only fight, you shithead! And I was just tryin' to think of the best way to kill her, too!! At least this way I don't hafta listen to what my dick thinks anymore! That goddamn bastard!!"
I am not playing fast or loose with a single word in that translation. YES, THAT IS WHAT SHE ACTUALLY JUST SAID.
(Edited to add: Or, astobu_ishi pointed out here, I likely misread that bit and Giricco is actually yelling at Soul's dick rather than her own. But I like my [unintentional] misinterpretation better, dammit!)
"Now how am I gonna actually kill you, huh?" Giricco goes on. "Cuttin' off your head feels the most right... All~right. I've decided..."
And then Giricco's face splits open.
"Hey..." Soul comments. "Doesn't it look like something's wrong with her?"
No shit, Captain Obvious. HER FACE IS SPLIT OPEN AND BLOOD AND GLOWY STUFF ARE COMING OUT.
"This is... Her murderous intent..." Maka says. "And her insanity... Her soul is..."
Her soul is cracking apart, as a helpful panel shows us readers.
Giricco staggers around. "Sh... Shit! What's happening to me... "
AND THEN BLADES START EXPLODING OUT OF GIRICCO'S BOOBS
AND GIRICCO IS LIKE "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!"
"Her body can't withstand a soul wavelength full of eight hundred years of murderous intent..." Maka says. Because she can somehow figure this out. Somehow.
"Th'hell?! What?! You're fucking kidding me!!"
"It doesn't matter how many times you get a new body or a new soul," Maka says. "No soul could ever be a large enough vessel for eight hundred years of murderous intent to cram into..."
"You're joking..." Giricco gasps as she lurches around. "Shit... You're joking..." Giricco lurches toward Maka. "As long as I can just kill you... I don't care what happens after... I just wanna kill you... I'LL KILL YOU!!"
And then Giricco has a soul aneurysm.
"The more that you think about how much you want to kill me," Maka says, "the more your murderous intent tears apart your soul... It's going to rupture..."
I think it already did? Like, in the previous panel?
"So what!!" Giricco snarls. "You think so?! The more you think that my thinking is killing me then the more I think that you're full of shit!!" Then she coughs up blood. "Gugh!"
"This is the sloth chapter..." Maka says. "If you want to take a break, there are plenty of chairs all around you... You really should give up on trying to kill me right now..."
"Sloth?" Giricco says, still unable to fully complete her lurching advance toward a completely helpless Maka. "You're trying to make me slack off again, aren't you? You murdered Arachne while I slept through the whole thing like an idiot... I'm not ever gonna slack off like that again." Giricco crawls on her hands and knees toward Maka. "Just you... Just you would be fine... No way this is happening... I held back for so long... Now that I can finally kill you, you're saying that my soul isn't strong enough...? This is some fucking cosmic joke..."
Giricco lifts up her head. "I got you this close to bein' dead meat, didn't I?! I'm gonna finish killing you no matter what!!"
Giricco's soul ruptures again.
"All I need is to give you one more blow!!" Giricco shouts. She appears to be standing again now. She starts to run toward Maka. "Please let me kill her... All I need is one hit..."
Maka stares as Giricco looms over her.
"I'll kill you... I'll kill you... I even chose to become a woman and end up with tits that swing all over the place just so that I could kill you... I'll kill you..."
Maka smiles up at Giricco. "Since you already went that far... If you think even a little bit more about wanting to kill me..."
"Shut up," Giricco says. "IT'S OVER!!"
Giricco's soul explodes.
Maka smiles as Giricco's corpse slumps in front of her. "Ha ha!" she laughs. "See? You exploded."
Well, her soul did, at least.
Thus, yet another month has passed without any update in terms of what the hell Noah did with the Brew so many chapters ago, or how he intends to pull off his plan to add both Asura and Shinigami-sama to his collection. We also didn't get an update on Justin, the Shibusen Anti-Justin League, or even the other Spartoi cast members.
Eh, I'm sure that we'll see them again next month. Now that Black Star has managed to epic fail in his attempt to rescue Kid, it absolutely has to be Liz and Patti who pull off the upcoming Big Save now, right? Right?
Or maybe the Big Save is going to be delayed some more because even if Liz and Patti manage to break into the ninth chapter relatively soon-ish, they might not want to stop the Apocalyptic and Vaguely Homoerotic Fistfight Of Doom once it really gets rolling. Maybe Liz will be like "I would be concerned by this state of affairs if I did not find it really hilarious and kinda-sorta arousing to watch" and Gooberkins will be like "LOL YEAH I KNOW ISN'T IT AWESOME?! have some popcorn" and Patti will be like, "Okay, we just need to wait until they've both managed to tear off each other's shirts and have started rolling around in the mud and THEN we can worry about saving them."
Meanwhile Tsubaki will be :( once she finds out that Black Star was mud-wrestling Kid in the ninth chapter and she didn't get to see itand nobody brought a video camera. I mean, come on. We all know the real reason that Tsubaki prevented anyone from interfering in the first version of the Apocalyptic and Vaguely Homoerotic Fistfight of Doom. It probably has less to do with the fact that she's a wise character who deeply understands Black Star's psyche and more to do with the fact that she is a DEEPLY SUPPRESSED KINKSTER as the Book of Eibon has revealed.
Also in this chapter: Ohkubo finds an all-new way to violate the rules of Japanese punctuation, we all learn an educational lesson about Phantom Erection Syndrome (yes, this is a real thing), and, for that extra Michael Bay touch, there is an exploding piano.
Among other things that explode.
Okay, let's roll. Another month, another Maka on the cover of Shounen Gangan.
This time we have Maka adopting the Black Rock Shooter look, complete with borrowing Kid's triple-stripe motif, although nothing about this image is either a straight-forward cribbing of Black Rock Shooter or any of Kid's looks because there are just too many oddities about the image to be able to call it that. First, there is the epic 90's-superhero-comic look of the ridiculously unneccessary big jacket on top of a tiny tiny smaller jacket. ETA: Scratch that, it's not actually a gigantic jacket at all! As
olgiebear pointed out in the comments, Maka is actually wearing a headscarf with looooooong tails that are swirling behind her. Although she is still wearing a black jacket on top of her brown jacket, it's just that BOTH jackets are actually small jackets, which looks doubly ridiculous. Unless that tiny tiny smaller jacket is actually Maka's shirt that she's wearing unbuttoned for some reason. Also, the headscraf tails = Maka's obligatory swirling coat tails, of course. Then there's her epic belt buckle. Then there's whatever the hell she's holding in her right hand, which looks an awful lot like the handle of her father's scythe form, although with the bottom of the image obscured by Gangan's furoku announcements it's impossible to tell.TL;DR version: The cover of this month's Shounen GanGan shows Maka flashing her bra at the readers while stroking her father's shaft with her right hand.
Well, at least this month's cover is more subtle than last month's cover, which showed Maka rubbing her crotch with the Little Oni's decapitated head.
Oh, Ohkubo.
Moving on. Interior color page: Another confirmation that Excalibur is one of the five surviving Great Old Ones. Blah blah blah, we already figured that out months ago.
It's time for some epic mangled punctuation!
So this is the first page of the chapter, punctuation intact:
That boy---...
Descended from the shinigami,
Seeks the ultimate of all "rules."
And that boy---...
Seeking the ultimate "power,"
Aims to become a bushin.
Finally they clash...!!
Oh fuck me with a rusty spoon. This chapter is going to painful. I can tell already.
So, four pages after that mess! Black Star is actually walking on water for, like, all of one panel. The next panel, however, the water is suddenly up to his stomach. "Water?" Black Star comments.
I guess. I mean, why not?
Completely submerged now, Black Star think-bubbles, What the hell is this...? I can still breathe just fine... Meh, guess there's no problem then... Not only can he breathe underwater, but apparently he can speak, too. "Hey, Kid!! I went to all of this trouble reading some crappy book just so that I could come here and save your sorry ass... So let's just get out of this place..."
Kid is like, Batman face.
"So it looks like you're not going to do what I tell you to do, huh..." Weird, he's taking so few breaths it's like he's barely breathing at all...
Kid glares at Black Star and says, "You're too big..."
oh
oh my god
Ladies and gentlemen, start your snickering.
YOU'RE. TOO. BIG.
(That's what
And with a total lack of any sort of transition save for the usual flashback-inducing black background, it is now flashback time! "Our duty---..." Shinigami-sama says, managing to orally molest both of Ohkubo's favorite punctuation abuse victims at the same time, "is to administer over the life and death of humans. The purpose of our existence is to impose absolute order---... Well, you could say it like that. But that's not the real story, Kid."
"I understand, Father," Kid says. "The most important thing is balance!!"
A panel later, Kid is older, I guess. "So that kid is Shinigami-sama's son, huh..." somebody comments. "As expected, he looks so highly-skilled and gifted." Somebody else adds, "It's like he exists on a level so much higher than us, we couldn't even begin to compete..."
Kid orally molests some ellipses.
I wonder how many of the flashback commentators know that he failed his written exam because he couldn't even write his name on the top of it. Come on, guys. You can compete with this loser. Really, you can. If you can leave your house in the morning without having to spend three hours straightening your picture frames and folding your toilet paper rolls first, then you can compete with Death the Kid.
Really.
In the next flashback panel, Black Star is yelling at Kid. "Hey, Kid!! I don't care if your God's son or whatever. I'm gonna SURPASS all the gods!! I'm gonna be the one standing on top of the final mountain peak!! You got that?!"
Kid is not impressed. "Hmph. As if," he says. Then he smiles to himself and think-bubbles, Going to surpass the gods, huh... What an interesting fellow.
"WHAT THE HELL?! HEY, YOU!!" Black Star keeps yelling. "You just smiled!! Are you mocking me?! If you wanna fight then let's do it right now!!"
Kid's smile widens. "As if I would ever mock you," he says. "But I'll certainly spar with you any time that you wish!!"
Back to the present. Well at least this time Ohkubo was arsed to make a proper transition. Kid tells Black Star, "From this point onward I am creating a proper 'nothing.' Your existence is too big for me. Therefore I will have to erase you now."
Also, I actually did not include this in the translation, but guess what Ohkubo did to Kid's word bubble in the middle of this page?
A MISSING PERIOD. That's what he did.
A MISSING GODDAMN FUCKING PERIOD.
Here's a quick Japanese punctuation 101 lesson for y'all: In manga it is acceptable to omit the period at the end of a sentence if that sentence is the only sentence within a particular word bubble OR if the sentence ends with an obvious sentence-final grammatical particle. But when there is more than one sentence in a word bubble, you HAVE to include punctuation at the end of each sentence OR an obvious sentence-final particle. Said punctuation can be a period, an exclamation point, an unnecessary ellipses, a ridiculous mutant amalgam of a dash and ellipses, or whatever. If you omit the final punctuation separating two sentences in your word bubble, however, and the first of your two sentences does NOT end with an obvious sentence-final particle, then you end up with a run-on like so:
"From this point onward I am creating a proper 'nothing' your existence is too big for me."
No, I am not kidding, that is ACTUALLY WHAT IS WRITTEN inside Kid's word bubble on this page.
I think the missing period in this word bubble is particularly ironic considering that in the previous four pages of manga EVERY SINGLE DECLARATIVE SENTENCE in EVERY SINGLE WORD BUBBLE has ended not with a period, but rather with ellipses, which translates to an overabundance of periods in every word bubble. With that many extraneous periods being barfed all over the dialogue, why the hell couldn't Ohkubo have been arsed to put one measly little period in a place where it's actually SUPPOSED to go?!
But I digress. Back to Kid telling Black Star that he's going to kill him. "Whew. That's a relief to hear," Black Star says.
Kid is like, confused Batman face?
"Even when your head has gotten all screwed up like this, you still recognize me as your sparring partner." Black Star grins. "When I used to say 'I'm gonna surpass the gods!' then everybody would laugh at me. Lots of guys would get pissed off or just ignore me, too---... But then the you, a god yourself, ended up being the one who took me the most seriously. 'Cause you know best of all that I really am going to surpass the gods."
"No," Kid says. "You're nothing but an annoyance now."
"Huh... Is that so."
Black Star is very unimpressed by the HOLY FUCKING SHIT SINCE WHEN WAS THE MARIANA TRENCH IN THE BOOK OF EIBON I MEAN WHAT THE HELL OHKUBO SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL suddenly opening up beneath his feet. "I'm gonna surpass the gods!!" Black Star proclaims. "I AM THE GREATEST!!"
"LOATHSOME NUISANCE!!" Kid shoots back. And then he kicks Black Star in the face.
Black Star does his best pencil-chicken-butterfly stroke in the water as he recovers. "I can still breathe... And when I'm holding still it feels like I'm standing still... But when I move it definitely feels like I'm moving underwater... This is going to be tough," Black Star says, as he watches Kid move through the water with ease. Also, Black Star looks pretty badass in that Captain Exposition hat. He pulls back his fist and fires himself up. "Okay, so how about this?"
Yeah, how about that?
It appears as though the energy of his soul wavelength is conducted more strongly through water than through air, Kid realizes.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
OH SHIT WHOOPS
Suddenly this whole "trap Black Star underwater to impair his fighting ability" strategy is made of EPIC FAIL. I love it.
(So, time to poll the audience: Whose bright idea do you think the water trap was in the first place? Is this Gooberkins's strategy or did Kid come up with it?)
Meanwhile, Black Star is like ^_____________________________________________^
"WHOA!! CHECK THAT OUT!! IT'S LIKE I CAN SHOOT A BEAM OUT OF MY HAND!! KICK ASS!!" Then he stops himself. "Wait, I didn't come here to fight Kid. I came here to bring him back with me... Didn't I...?"
WHY HELLO THERE SLEEPER OF THE ABYSS
HOW YOU DOIN' DOWN THERE
SLEEPIN' IN THAT ABYSS
Or maybe not so much with the sleeping anymore.
Black Star suddenly realizes that he is about to be assaulted by a veritable shower curtain of mouth-tentacles. "What the... Who..."
No, no, I think that "what" was the more appropriate question, actually.
"You bastard!!" Kid protests. "Don't you dare interfere!!"
Gooberkins turns his head and gives Kid an epic Bitch, please glare.
Kid freezes in place. "...What? I can't move..."
Gooberkins turns his attention back toward Black Star. "I grant 'power' with fair impartiality," Gooberkins says. Well, uh, how noble of him. Not like he apparently engineered this whole fiasco because he's a pervy old tentacle god who gets his jollies off by watching adolescent boys whale on each other or anything. "What is the 'power' which you seek?" Gooberkins asks.
"What?" Black Star asks.
A few panels later, he gets it. "The power that I seek---..."
Is the power to abuse punctuation, apparently. Okay, so I guess this confirms that Gooberkins is officially doing it all for the lulz? I mean, he's probably got a bowl of popcorn down there in that abyss of his and I bet he's been waiting for an opportunity to instigate an insanity-fueled cockfight between two crazy overpowered shounen manga protagonists for some time now. But can we really blame Gooberkins for his uncontrollable trolling impulses? It must have been really boring being stuck inside the ninth chapter of the Book of Eibon for who knows how long, and this is probably the only method that Gooberkins could come up with to entertain himself.
I'm willing to bet money that by the time that this arc is finished and somebody - possibly Shinigami-sama himself - is ready to lay the smackdown upon our favorite tentacle goo monster, Gooberkins is going to try to excuse himself with "it was just a social experiment!"
But anywhoo, back to the Sloth chapter.
Last time that we left Soul and Maka, shit had just gotten real! Now Giricco is giggling madly as she watches Maka crawl on the ground. "I finally found it... A place where I can finally unleash eight hundred years of murderous intent... I've always been waiting for this... Even as I endlessly kept replacing my bodies, I was still waiting... For an impatient guy like me, it drove me crazy having to wait... The only reason that I could endure the waiting and restrain myself was because Arachne was with me---... And YOU'RE the ones who got rid of that!!" Giricco grins. "I ain't ever been able to channel eight hundreds years of murderous intent into an attack before!! NOW GIMME A GOOD FIGHT TO ENJOY!!"
Yeah, Maka's pretty pwned right now. "I ain't gonna finish you off quickly!!" Giricco says, helpfully explaining to us readers why she didn't just kill Maka when Maka was lying completely helpless at her feet moments before. "Torture them!! Torture them!!" So I guess Giricco is yelling at herself now. "Fucking enjoy this!! Kill them!! But not yet!! Hold back!! Hold back!! Even though you're drowning in murder soup you gotta hold some back from your attack!! I feel like all my blood vessels are gonna rupture!" Yeah, and she's foaming at the mouth, too. Just saying. "Even though it feels like you're at the limit, you gotta hold back!!" Okay, that doesn't seem like a very good idea. Just saying.
"Can you see it?!" Giricco keeps yelling. "I've got a huuuuuuge fucking saw rising outta my crotch right now!! BUT AIN'T I A CHICK NOW?! GYA HA?!"
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow
WHY HELLO THERE PHANTOM LIMB SYNDROME
HERE IS A CONTEXT THAT I NEVER EXPECTED TO FIND YOU MENTIONED IN
(Although a quick Google search reveals that yes, indeed, Phantom Limb Syndrom can apply to penises, specifically to the feeling of having an erection. Soul Eater: IT'S EDUCATIONAL!)
Meanwhile, Soul is all like, "OMG Maka are you all right?!" And Maka answers: "Yes." This is an obvious lie. "I just took too much of the brunt of her attack, that's all. I think our bigger concern right now, though, should be her AWESOMELY HUGE SOUL WAVELENGTH."
"You wanna try to drown out his wavelength with that 'Soul Adagio' trick again?" Little Oni suggests.
"I know, I know!!" Soul says. "I'm trying to do it right now..."
"I'M GONNA SLICE YOU AND DICE YOU UP INTO ITTY-BITTY PIECES!!" Giricco screams. "I'M GONNA MANGLE AND MINCE YOU UP 'TILL YOU'RE DEAD MEAT!!"
"Maka!! Gimme his wavelength!!" Soul says.
"Got it!!"
Yeah except that actually backfires rather spectacularly this time. Soul is like "WTF WHY IS THE PIANO TRYING TO KILL ME" and then two panels later, piano goes BOOM.
Oh my god.
You guys.
LITTLE ONI'S SAD-PUPPY FACE. D'aaaaawwwww. Poor widdle black blood baby demon just got his magical brain piano boom-boomed.
"SOUL?!" Maka shouts.
"OW MY EARS," Soul says. I assume that this is a result of the piano exploding in his face and not, you know, Maka screaming at him on top of everything else.
Meanwhile, Giricco is celebrating his newfound Michael Bay-esque powers to make absolutely anything and everything that he touches explode. "NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW!! NOBODY CAN STOP ME NOW!!"
"It's no use..." Soul says. "He can overcome any sound that I can make from my piano." Yeah, uh, and also the fact that you have no more piano. Because it just exploded. In your face.
Right, so. Three pages of bombastic destruction later, Maka is covered in blood and Giricco is gloating. "As if a little thing like you could withstand my eight hundred years worth of murderous intent..."
"MAKA!!" Soul shouts.
Maka sinks to her knees. This is bad... I can't raise my arms... I can't stand up anymore... I'm going to be killed like this---...
Giricco grabs Maka's head, lifts her up, and--
WHY HELLO THERE PANEL OF MAKA'S WOUNDED THIGHS HANGING IN A GRATUITOUSLY SEXY POSE
GODDAMMIT OHKUBO SHE'S LIKE FOURTEEN YEARS OLD
GODDAMMIT OHKUBO GRAVITY AND LEGS DON'T WORK LIKE THAT
GODDAMMIT OHKUBO
GODDAMMIT
"Aa~~ah," Giricco says. "Some little fourteen- or fifteen-year-old girl's body all covered in wounds. A little brat like this is the one who ate Arachne's soul... No fucking way..."
"Aaa... Aa.." Maka says, as Giricco tightens her grip around Maka's skull.
"Had enough?" Giricco asks. "You want me to just kill you now? The thing is, I'm having so much fun torturing you that I'm kinda starting to feel some affection for you... But I've reached the limit of my ability to hold back... I think I've had enough fun already... If I hold back any more than this, all the fun stuff is just gonna start to hurt too much. I'll kill you... I'll kill you... It's okay, I don't have to hold back anymore..."
And then Soul pops out of the scythe blade and kicks Giricco in the arm.
Giricco drops Maka and reels backwards. "You little shit!! What are doing, trying to interfere with this?! This is a girls-only fight, you shithead! And I was just tryin' to think of the best way to kill her, too!! At least this way I don't hafta listen to what my dick thinks anymore! That goddamn bastard!!"
I am not playing fast or loose with a single word in that translation. YES, THAT IS WHAT SHE ACTUALLY JUST SAID.
(Edited to add: Or, as
tobu_ishi pointed out here, I likely misread that bit and Giricco is actually yelling at Soul's dick rather than her own. But I like my [unintentional] misinterpretation better, dammit!)"Now how am I gonna actually kill you, huh?" Giricco goes on. "Cuttin' off your head feels the most right... All~right. I've decided..."
And then Giricco's face splits open.
"Hey..." Soul comments. "Doesn't it look like something's wrong with her?"
No shit, Captain Obvious. HER FACE IS SPLIT OPEN AND BLOOD AND GLOWY STUFF ARE COMING OUT.
"This is... Her murderous intent..." Maka says. "And her insanity... Her soul is..."
Her soul is cracking apart, as a helpful panel shows us readers.
Giricco staggers around. "Sh... Shit! What's happening to me... "
AND THEN BLADES START EXPLODING OUT OF GIRICCO'S BOOBS
AND GIRICCO IS LIKE "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!"
"Her body can't withstand a soul wavelength full of eight hundred years of murderous intent..." Maka says. Because she can somehow figure this out. Somehow.
"Th'hell?! What?! You're fucking kidding me!!"
"It doesn't matter how many times you get a new body or a new soul," Maka says. "No soul could ever be a large enough vessel for eight hundred years of murderous intent to cram into..."
"You're joking..." Giricco gasps as she lurches around. "Shit... You're joking..." Giricco lurches toward Maka. "As long as I can just kill you... I don't care what happens after... I just wanna kill you... I'LL KILL YOU!!"
And then Giricco has a soul aneurysm.
"The more that you think about how much you want to kill me," Maka says, "the more your murderous intent tears apart your soul... It's going to rupture..."
I think it already did? Like, in the previous panel?
"So what!!" Giricco snarls. "You think so?! The more you think that my thinking is killing me then the more I think that you're full of shit!!" Then she coughs up blood. "Gugh!"
"This is the sloth chapter..." Maka says. "If you want to take a break, there are plenty of chairs all around you... You really should give up on trying to kill me right now..."
"Sloth?" Giricco says, still unable to fully complete her lurching advance toward a completely helpless Maka. "You're trying to make me slack off again, aren't you? You murdered Arachne while I slept through the whole thing like an idiot... I'm not ever gonna slack off like that again." Giricco crawls on her hands and knees toward Maka. "Just you... Just you would be fine... No way this is happening... I held back for so long... Now that I can finally kill you, you're saying that my soul isn't strong enough...? This is some fucking cosmic joke..."
Giricco lifts up her head. "I got you this close to bein' dead meat, didn't I?! I'm gonna finish killing you no matter what!!"
Giricco's soul ruptures again.
"All I need is to give you one more blow!!" Giricco shouts. She appears to be standing again now. She starts to run toward Maka. "Please let me kill her... All I need is one hit..."
Maka stares as Giricco looms over her.
"I'll kill you... I'll kill you... I even chose to become a woman and end up with tits that swing all over the place just so that I could kill you... I'll kill you..."
Maka smiles up at Giricco. "Since you already went that far... If you think even a little bit more about wanting to kill me..."
"Shut up," Giricco says. "IT'S OVER!!"
Giricco's soul explodes.
Maka smiles as Giricco's corpse slumps in front of her. "Ha ha!" she laughs. "See? You exploded."
Well, her soul did, at least.
Thus, yet another month has passed without any update in terms of what the hell Noah did with the Brew so many chapters ago, or how he intends to pull off his plan to add both Asura and Shinigami-sama to his collection. We also didn't get an update on Justin, the Shibusen Anti-Justin League, or even the other Spartoi cast members.
Eh, I'm sure that we'll see them again next month. Now that Black Star has managed to epic fail in his attempt to rescue Kid, it absolutely has to be Liz and Patti who pull off the upcoming Big Save now, right? Right?
Or maybe the Big Save is going to be delayed some more because even if Liz and Patti manage to break into the ninth chapter relatively soon-ish, they might not want to stop the Apocalyptic and Vaguely Homoerotic Fistfight Of Doom once it really gets rolling. Maybe Liz will be like "I would be concerned by this state of affairs if I did not find it really hilarious and kinda-sorta arousing to watch" and Gooberkins will be like "LOL YEAH I KNOW ISN'T IT AWESOME?! have some popcorn" and Patti will be like, "Okay, we just need to wait until they've both managed to tear off each other's shirts and have started rolling around in the mud and THEN we can worry about saving them."
Meanwhile Tsubaki will be :( once she finds out that Black Star was mud-wrestling Kid in the ninth chapter and she didn't get to see it
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