nenena: (Default)
nenena ([personal profile] nenena) wrote2009-08-14 09:48 am

Soul Eater 64: Attack of the Schnookums!

Another speed recap, since I'm roadtripping today, visiting family this weekend, and moving to another state on Monday. Whew! Let's go.



We start with Maka/Soul and Kim/Jackie doing flying practice out in the middle of the desert. Soul finally gave Maka her fluffy angel wings, so Maka is grinning like an idiot and apparently quite pleased with herself. Kim, however, asks Maka if she can't fly any faster, and slightly chagrined, Maka admits that this is about as fast as Soul can go (not stated but implied: in fluffy form, at least).

Flashback! We see what happened at the end of the last chapter, when Spirit summoned Soul and Maka for a srs bzns talk. Just in case Soul was fearing that this would involve a lot of awkward sexual warnings and culminate in the ceremonial presentation of condom, thank God he was totally wrong, because Spirit has something much more horrible than a birds-and-the-bees lecture in store for them. Spirit informs Maka and Soul that they and all Spartoi members are now officially two-star rankees. (Wait, even though Soul is a Death Scythe? Huh, I thought that all Death Scythes automatically got uber-ranking, but I guess I was wrong.) Oh and by the way, Maka dear, everybody is out to kill you. And Soul is like, "Yeah, we know, Medusa already told us that much four chapters ago RIGHT BEFORE SHE TRIED TO KILL US Oh my gosh I am incredibly concerned by this news look at my concerned face."

Spirit goes on, "Yeah, so, we don't want another repeat of the whole BJ thing. And Maka, we can totally use your powers to find the hiding kishin, because Shinigami-sama's usual method of sitting on his ass and watching Mexican soap operas on his mirror all day for some mysterious reason just isn't working this time. Therefore, Maka, Shibusen has to do everything in its power to protect you."

And then Maka is like, aw hell no. Giving Spirit her best epic flounce, Maka angrily declares, "You're more worried about losing my abilities than you are about something bad happening to me! Let's go, Soul," she says as she stomps away.

Spirit is ORZ and crying. "Nooooo that's not truuuueeee~~ Papa wuvvvvss jooooo~~" Then he makes a puppy-dog face (literally!) and begs Soul, "Pwease, Soul, do something!" And Soul is like, "Dude, why are you making that face at me?!"

Back to flying practice. Okay, I guess they're in a training ground, because there are giant numbers painted all over the mountains. Awesome. "Hey, Maka," Soul says, having apparently finished his flashback (yeah, that was his flashback that we just saw) about Spirit's tearful histrionics. "I don't think that your dad only cares about just your soul perception ability."

"I know, Soul."

"And also, uh. I know that the goal of Shibusen students is to make their weapons death scythes, but that's not the end of the story, you know?"

"I know. We still have to rescue Kid, we still have a lot of things that we have to do."

"Oh really? 'Cause it sure doesn't look like you care about any of that right now."

Maka fumes. "What the hell, Soul?! If you've got something to say to me, then say it!"

Meanwhile Kim and Jackie are like, "Aw crap here they go again..." "They're going to be bickering like this all the way back to Shibusen..."

Suddenly! Maka's spider sense starts tingling! "Hey, Kim, Jackie," Maka says. "You guys can go on ahead back to Shibusen. You don't have to wait for Soul and I, since we're just going to slow you down."

"Really?!" Kim asks, not doing a very good job of hiding her obvious relief at NOT having to fly back listening to Soul and Maka having a lover's spat the whole way. We're saved! Jackie think-bubbles.

Kim and Jackie go adios, leaving Maka and Soul hovering in the air alone. "Do you sense something?" Soul asks Maka.

"Yes," she answers. "I sense a wavelength with incredibly strong murderous intent approaching..."

"Justin?"

"No, I don't think so. It feels different from Justin..."

(So, how many excessive and unnecessary ellipses have we had in just the past two pages alone?)

Maka tenses. "Here it comes."

"Wait," Soul says. "When you say 'here' you do realize that we're up in the sky, right...?"

Well of course they are. But is that any problem for Waffles the Cannon Fodder Bishounen? No, no it is not. Aaaaaand here he is! With... wings coming out of one of his wrists! Oh now that looks aerodynamic. Not. How the hell is he even staying in the air?

Oh wait, I see.

Rocket boots.

Aha, there we go. Rocket boots. When wrist-wings just aren't badass enough.

"Die, Maka Albarn," Waffles says. So much for introductions.

Oh no wait, it's time for another flashback! This time it is apparently a Waffles-flashback instead of a Soul-flashback. Waffles flashes back to the same church that we saw last chapter, where he is kneeling in front of Noah. Noah tells Waffles, "Maka Albarn's soul perception ability can be useful to us for tracking the kishin's wavelength. I don't particularly care whether you kill her or not, just bring her soul back to me."

Dear Noah: You are creepy. And belts do not go there.

Also, WTF?! Does anything that Noah does make any sense whatsoever?! First he did all that stupid shit for Arachne (and I still dunno how he benefited from any of that, other than his serendipitous acquisition of Kid and the Brew). Then he sent Justin to kill Maka, then he's like "hey Gopher I don't care if she's dead just bring me back her soul," and NOW he's back to raving about how he's going to hunt down the kishin so why is he working with two (possibly three, if you count Giriko) of the kishin's most loyal servants again?!

Meh, I much prefer Waffles to Noah as a threatening villain at this point. Waffles has 100% of the creepyscary factor that Noah does, but minus the fashion fail and with the bonus addition of actual motivations for what he's doing.

Noah is just... I dunno. I don't know anymore. Other than greed and pederasty, I can't figure out what's motivating him to do any of the weird things that he's done so far. Robot puppy, much? And also this whole "kidnap-and-or-kill Maka Albarn so I can use her soul to track the kishin" plan seems unnecessarily convoluted, not to mention difficult. Is it really worth putting Waffles (possibly Noah's ONLY truly loyal servant) in the line of fire for that? It seems like there should be numerous easier ways for Noah to find the kishin. And not just because he as the Brew and the Book of Eibon at his disposal.





~ Top Five Ways that Noah Could Find the Kishin WITHOUT Trying to Kill Maka Albarn ~
5. Place a bunch of buddhist sutras in a giant mousetrap and wait.
4. Use Kid in a Baby T-Rex Gambit à la Jurassic Park II.
3. Just ask the fucking Clown where the hell Asura is.
2. Or Justin.
1. Ouija Board.





No but in all seriousness why doesn't Noah just use the Clown? Or ask Justin?

Maybe the Clown simply cannot be controlled, and maybe Justin just doesn't know. Come to think of it, that might be a possible reason why Justin has temporarily aligned himself with Noah in the first place. Maybe he can't find the kishin on his own, and he needs Noah to find the location of his new master for him. Hmmmm.

So anyway, Waffles has rocket boots and has come to kill Maka. That means that it's time for some



Oh, Excalibur banner. It's been so many months since I last used you.

Anywhoo. Waffles is stealing some moves from the X-men's Archangel and shooting at Maka with his badass wrist-feathers. Maka is immediately getting pummeled, since she's like waaaaay less aerodynamic than Waffles. Oh and now it looks like Waffles is kicking her in the crotch. Whoa! Okay, no, wait, he's kicking Soul's blade, actually. You know, the part of Soul's morphed form that is an obvious metaphor for his penis. OUCH!

Maka smashes into the side of a cliff, and Waffles hovers over her, gloating. "So, how does it feel, to be the one being hunted for your soul?" And then he...

Wait, what?

Whaaaaat?!

Okay, now he's totally stealing *that* move from the X-Men's Abyss.

So anyway Waffles opens up his chest and turns into a cannon and.... I dunno, blah blah blah... Wait, who was it two chapters ago who commented that Waffles was maybe one of the pwn-worms in human form? (Edit: It was [livejournal.com profile] hat_and_sandals!) Because suddenly that theory is making a whole lot of sense, in light of the fact that he has a MOUTH CANNON coming out of his chest.

Yes. A mouth-cannon. In his chest.

Also, rocket boots. Just in case we've forgotten that part.

So Maka dodges the cannon blast, Waffles is like "Aw no fair dodging!" and Soul is like "THIS DUDE IS NOT NORMAL" (thank you Captain Obvious) and Maka is like "ZOMG he's a sparklypoo angel soul like me!" only Waffles only has one wing on his soul. Because I guess he got tired of copying the X-Men so now he's stealing from Sephiroth, too.

(Edit: Okay, never mind. On second reading, I can see the tip of the second wing on the other side of Waffle's soul. So he actually does have two wings, it's just really hard to see both of them from the way that Ohkubo drew him.)

Maka goes on, still staring at Waffles's soul, "And his soul is saturated with magical abilities, too..."

Waffles glares at her. "Ugh. You can peer into anybody's soul like some sort of pervert, can't you. I feel so violated! You're quite dangerous...!"

That was an incredibly bad place to put your ellipses, Ohkubo. Just saying.

Meanwhile! Liz, Patti, Tsubaki, and Black Star are all eating ice cream and talking about how much Maka has sucked lately. Liz makes a sad face and is all like, "I wish that Kid were here to see me orally molesting this ice cream cone." And Black Star's like, "I wish that Mifune were here to see ME orally molesting THIS ice cream cone. I mean LOOK AT ME DEEP-THROATING THIS THING! Loooook!"

Okay, so now we've caught up with the rest of our main heroes. But what have the rest of the villains been doing all this time?





~ Top Five Things that the Rest of Team Failboat is Doing While This Shit Goes Down ~
5. Book Club Night.
4. Arguing about what to read for the next Book Club Night. (Giriko is extremely opposed to The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.)
3. Watching the Wife Swap marathon on Lifetime.
2. Playing a drinking game while watching the Wife Swap marathon on Lifetime.
1. Orgy.

The other option would be, "sitting around and most definitely NOT using the Brew to accomplish ANYTHING." You know, like they've been doing the whole time.





Back to Maka versus Waffles the Cannon Fodder Bishounen. Waffles is shooting feathers at Maka again and shouting, "AAAAAH HA HA HA HA HA! DANCE FOR ME, PUPPETS! DANCE!"

(No I am so not kidding that is actually what he is saying.)

And Soul is yelling at Maka, "We can't stay on the defensive like this! Maka, you've got to attack him!"

"Got it!"

Maka swoops at Waffles, screaming, but Waffles just glares at her and sniffs disdainfully, "Too slow." He dodges her attack easily, and then hovers over her again, glaring at her. "I was admittedly curious about just what kind of technician the girl who defeated Arachne would turn out to be... This is pathetic. The very thought that Noah-sama would want your soul in his collection makes me laugh."

Soul yells at Maka. "Now what?! His wings are speedier than ours. What are you going to do, Maka?!"

Maka flashes back (yay, now it's Maka's turn!) to Soul calling her out earlier in the chapter, grits her teeth, and finally yells at Soul, "ENOUGH WITH THIS STUPID ANGEL STUFF!"

Soul smiles and sighs with relief.

Maka yells again. "HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO FIGHT WITH THESE DUMBASS WINGS?!"

"All right, all right," Soul says, still grinning at her.

And then it is pwnage time. And then the chapter ends.




Okay, that's it until next month. My apologies for the speed recap, and also for not getting this up earlier. But now that I'm no longer in Japan I have to wait for scans to read the new chapter, like the rest of the unwashed masses. Sigh.

Oh, and editorial comment time: What's up with the mass dissatisfaction with this chapter, yo? I think it rocked! Of course it would have been nice to have seen Kid make another cameo, and yes yes yes we are waaaaaay overdue for a Crona update. But. After last month, the next logical step in the story was the Waffles/Maka fight, and, well, we got the Waffles/Maka fight. And it was pretty freakin' spectacular. Plus we got character development, mostly in terms of Maka getting a much-needed slap upside the head. Or rather, Soul getting kicked in his blade-penis. Same difference.

Edited to add: There is some most excellent win in the comments, courtesy of [livejournal.com profile] rend_dx.

[identity profile] maksou.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 03:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Not a bad chapter I will say.

Waffles=win.

He is probab;y the best and most logical villian that's shown up. Too bad he's probably just a worm.

[identity profile] mikk1o5.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 03:17 pm (UTC)(link)
LMFAO! Yey! We still get awesome recaps from you!

U have to admit. This chapter wasn't all that bad. I can see where ppl were disappointed that it felt a bit short, but I kinda knew ookubo wanted to do us from behind and have the Maka/Waffles fight cut short so we can crave the outcome in the next chappie. T.T

LMFAO I think they were arguing what book to read for the next Book Club Night. Justin recapping his version of the bible or something which would lead to a discussion of some sorts on how Noah thinks he can start his own religion and whatnot
ext_6355: (Default)

[identity profile] nenena.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 03:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Justin recapping his version of the bible

Justin: And in the book of Genesis there was the great flood--

Noah: Dude I know I was totally there! It was awesome! Like a billion people died. I lol'd so hard.

[identity profile] ilikebigtoes.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 03:19 pm (UTC)(link)
I must say I'm quite intrigued by the worm!Waffles idea. If only for the awesome mental picture >w<

also


4. Arguing about what to read for the next Book Club Night. (Giriko is extremely opposed to The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.)

I literally fell out of my chair and hurt my head from laughter

[identity profile] redthemister.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 03:24 pm (UTC)(link)
"Waffles the Cannon Fodder Bishounen" is now the reason my laptop keyboard is covered in Mountain Dew. Damn I love your summaries.

... now I gotta go clean my computer... and the screen...

[identity profile] rend-dx.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 03:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Image

Nice summary, as always. =D
ext_6355: (Default)

[identity profile] nenena.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 03:34 pm (UTC)(link)
And your little scythe, too!

[identity profile] littlegal2008.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 10:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks to this I can't take 'waffles' seriously anymore XD!!!

[identity profile] pachilove.livejournal.com 2009-08-15 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
omigod you get cookies... that's FREAKING AWESOME *saves to comp*

[identity profile] alice-rm.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 03:38 pm (UTC)(link)
your recaps always make me smile =D. after seeing the raw i also think that wasn´t a bad chapter and badass!maka is here again. gopher was incredible but the canon thingy was creepy...and i love your jokes about soul, bs and liz lol. i would also love to see more action from justin and the others and i still hope for a infected!kid. Thank you very much for your recap!!

[identity profile] rend-dx.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 04:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Since I love Mr. Evil Waffle too much:

Image

And we all know that Noah is just Kunikida with a beret.

[identity profile] sagesoren.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I love you. :'D

Angry Waffle for the win.
ext_6355: (Default)

[identity profile] nenena.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 10:02 pm (UTC)(link)
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

That is awesome.

[identity profile] rend-dx.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 10:55 pm (UTC)(link)
"You're getting syrup all over the place, Noah-sama!"

Yes. I just went there.

WAfflesss ~

[identity profile] ladymarta-chan.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 04:31 pm (UTC)(link)
I DIED ... HARD 8DDDD

Wafflessss ~ <3

[identity profile] plushabilities.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 04:37 pm (UTC)(link)
RUN WAFFLES RUN

I really, really need to do an IZ spoof with Team Fail. They're begging for it.

Waffles is now officially the Scooge of Team Fail. Seriously, look at him. LOOK AT HIM.

[identity profile] temidete.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 07:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Waffles... I just died XD Now I feel I should to eat some waffles, with whipped cream, of course.
I liked this chapter, really. Even it's short.
I LOVE YOUR RECAPS! <3

[identity profile] chiikaboom.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 08:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh Noah~

[identity profile] anitheanimaniac.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 08:55 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm going to be calling him Waffles now. Oh gosh. I laughed so much. And "DANCE MY PUPPETS!" will also be in my head.

Another awesome post~

[identity profile] sagesoren.livejournal.com 2009-08-14 09:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow. "Yeah, we have to save Kid, and maybe some other person who we might have forgotten about. What was their name again? Well, whatever."

Everything you write about Shinigami makes me lol so hard.

I have to admit that some of the writing in this plot is about the quality of mine, which is really not a compliment because I cannot write plots worth a damn. I think in some places, he's really half-assing it. :'D

Oh Waffles, you horrible little creeper. Maybe once he succeeds, Noah licks whipped cream off him or something. Creepy. |:

Thanks for another awesome summary! \o/

[identity profile] pachilove.livejournal.com 2009-08-15 12:34 am (UTC)(link)
My god I love these synopsises... if that's a word.

[identity profile] aiwatan.livejournal.com 2009-08-15 12:56 am (UTC)(link)
Dear Noah: You are creepy. And belts do not go there.

You totally killed me

[identity profile] the-sun-is-up.livejournal.com 2009-08-15 04:08 am (UTC)(link)
Oh lordy, I adore your SE recaps. :D

Just in case Soul was fearing that this would involve a lot of awkward sexual warnings and culminate in the ceremonial presentation of condom

Haaaaaaaa oh Spirit, he would so do that. ;;>.>

Shinigami-sama's usual method of sitting on his ass and watching Mexican soap operas on his mirror all day for some mysterious reason just isn't working this time.

The– the mental images– are breaking– my brain–

You're quite dangerous...!

You know, I don't usually notice Ohkubo's love of ellipses, but that one was just so gratuitous and random that I lolled when I came to it. Learn to punctuate, silly author!

And Black Star's like, "I wish that Mifune were here to see ME orally molesting THIS ice cream cone. I mean LOOK AT ME DEEP-THROATING THIS THING! Loooook!"

*dies*

*forever and ever*

[identity profile] alznthlay.livejournal.com 2009-08-17 10:00 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks for the recap!

I love how non-concerned everybody is about everything, like both good guys and bad guys don't seem rushed or fussed about much.

[identity profile] uri-sensei.livejournal.com 2009-08-18 11:04 pm (UTC)(link)
I want to read the next chapter simply to see what sort of strange line Waffles will say next.

Your post made me die with laughter. Apparently you killed other people with this post too, so watch out for the police!

[identity profile] fullmeepit.livejournal.com 2011-02-14 12:48 am (UTC)(link)
Waffles the Cannon Fodder Bishounen Cannon, you mean?