nenena: (Default)
nenena ([personal profile] nenena) wrote2009-07-10 10:43 am

Soul Eater Chapter 63: Sparklypoo!

Clearly Noah has embraced the Dartboard Method of Supervillainy here.



See, now this is what happens when your archvillains do stupid contradictory shit that makes no sense.

Maybe he was tutored by Fei Wong Reed? I dunno. But here we go, another chapter of Soul Eater.



This is going to be a speed recap, which means I'll be paraphrasing a lot and not bothering to translate every line of dialogue. This is because a) I'm on vacation and b) what the hell there was waaaaaaaay too much treading water in this chapter! Goddammit! We already HAD the rev-up chapter, that was last month. This month weren't we supposed to get some actual plot movement?!?! I at least expected Pedobait Cannon Fodder Bishie to show up and pick his fight with Maka at the end of this chapter. But we didn't even get THAT much!

Oh, whatever. Here we go.

Kim and Jackie are flying because they are awesome and that's how they roll. Maka and Soul are watching this, and Soul's all like "Maka WTF we can't fly like that you crazy girl," and Maka's all like "Dude I made you a Death Scythe and now you have super powers and I wanna fly so we gonna FLY, bitch!"

Marie, the voice of reason, attempts to point out that just because Soul is a Death Scythe, it doesn't necessarily mean that he can fly. Because okay seriously, are there any other Death Scythes who have indicated even the slightest hint of flying capability so far?

....

Well, okay. Justin flew, that one time. But that was because Marie punched him really, really hard.

Anyway, Marie dons the Captain Exposition hat and explains that the shape of Maka's soul is one in five million, called the Egurigori, which... is obviously a katakana bastardization of some non-Japanese word, but I have no idea what that word could be, as I've been googling egurigori all morning, and all I can find is a Japanese visual kei band, and a fictional organization in the ARMS video game, of the same name. But anyway, the kanji says angel-type so that's clearly what it's supposed to mean, I just wish that I could figure out how it's supposed to be written.

So. Egurigori. MAKA ALBARN, THIS IS THE SHAPE OF YOUR SOUL:



Fuck me I hate katakana so, so, so much.

Oh thank God it's CNET to the rescue! It's supposed to be Grigori and I guess that makes sense. Yays!

Anywhoo. Maka has a sparklypoo angel-shaped soul. Marie goes on to explain that, controlling the awesome wavelength of a Death Scythe is basically the same as having magical powers like a witch. Which means that, theoretically, since Maka has the angel-shaped soul and the kickass faux magical powers, she could possibly make herself some wings and gain the ability to fly. In theory. Also, since a Death Scythe gains particular, unique powers based on the soul of the witch that he consumes, new Death Scythes have to try lots and lots of ridiculous, insane-sounding special training exercises until they figure out what their new powers are. Which in this case includes flying, because Maka reaaaaalllly wants to do it. "Go for it, Angel!" Marie-sensei FTW.

To which Soul snarkily responds, "Maka's no angel..."

And then Maka pouts. "Hey, maybe I'd like to be called an angel every now and then, okay?" Then she adds the zinger: "Ox calls Kim an angel all the time, you know."

Soul is reduced to pure ellipses in the face of this. Then he tries to save himself, but Maka's like, "Too late, you blew it, BOYFRIEND FAIL."

Then Spirit shows up and says, "Papa always says that Maka's his widdle angel~~~" Because there couldn't possibly be a creepier way to attempt to score Papa Points, of course. To which Maka replies, "Yeah, okay, when I said I wanted to be called an angel, I didn't want it to come from you." Because ZOMG FREUDIAN. Take a hint, Spirit. Pleeeaaaaase take a hint.

Both Spirit and Soul are massive fail at the hint-taking today.

Anyway, Spirit clears his throat, apparently preparing to steal the Captain Exposition Hat from Marie. But she refuses to let go of it. Awesome. "Spirit-sensei is unsurpassed in terms of both his soul wavelength and his success with women, so I asked him to come here and help us today."

Jiggawhat?

Granted, I guess Spirit is a "success" in the sense that he always has women hanging off his arms. But on the other hand... He wrecked his marriage, his relationship with his own daughter is a disaster, and it turned out in the end that his two closest girlfriends weren't actually into him at all, they were witches who were milking him for information about Shibusen. Success? My ass.

But on the other hand, this is Marie that we're talking about here, she of the tentacles and the toilet proposal and the seething desperation for a husband. Maybe from her shallow point of view, Spirit is quite the ladykiller.

So anyway, Maka's gonna fly. Which apparently involves straddling Soul's shaft with her thighs and...

Uh...

Did I just type that?

Good God, we're only seven pages into the chapter and already we've hit the FREUDIAN OVERLOAD LIMIT. One more hit like this and we're going to cross the FREUDIAN EVENT HORIZON. I'm not exactly sure what will happen after we cross the event horizon, as beyond the event horizon is a dark place from which no light escapes and from which no fandom has ever returned. But I suspect, at that point, Kid/Daddy will become canon. Either that, or weaponfucking.

So anyway, Maka is straddling Soul's shaft (Oh, Ohkubo!), and Spirit explains that in order to unlock a Super Special Awesome Power, a weapon and technician have to concentrate on a shared mental image. "Let's focus on that image of Kim and Jackie flying in the sky," he says.

"Maka..." WHY IS SOUL NOT NAKED ANYMORE. Jackie was naked three pages ago!!! WTF OHKUBO WTF

So now they're powering up, and Soul's blade suddenly shrinks. (Freudian Event Horizon in ten... nine.. eight...) Marie explains that this is because being able to change shape is a basic ability for Death Scythes (but what about Tsubaki and her entire bloodline, then?), and since Soul's blade would be aerodynamic FAIL while flying, it must have shrunk.

"Good, good," Spirit says. "Now both of you, match your wavelengths and focus on an image of wings."

Soul closes his eyes. "Wings... wings..."

Maka also closes her eyes. "Wings... wings..."

And then they get wings.

Maka looks at Soul's wings and goes D:. "Ugh... This is totally different from what I was thinking of. These aren't angel-like at all!"

But she is lifted off the ground now.

"THAT'S IT, SOUL!" Spirit shouts. "JUST LIKE THAT!! KEEP IMAGINING MAKA AS AN ANGEL!!"



"An angel?!" Soul starts flashing back to all of Maka's most un-angel-like moments and...

Total disaster. Of course.

So then the predictable aftermath begins, with Maka blaming Soul and Soul being all like "WTF this not MY fault" and Maka yelling at him like "And what was with those wings?! Couldn't you gimme something cuter that looks more like feathers?!"

"Who cares what the wings look like as long as you can fly?"

"But I should look like an angel!!"

"You're being selfish... What the hell. Ever since the professor said that you had that angel-shaped soul it's been angel this, angel that, blah blah blah. Whatever. It's just a shape. You're being such a moron."

Aaaaaaand again with the epic Boyfriend Fail. Maka flips her shit. "SCREW YOU ASSHOLE!! I should've partnered with Ox instead!!"

"Whaaat? Why are you talking about Ox again?!" Gee, I dunno Soul, why do YOU think? Take a hint! "And like seriously Ox isn't even a weapon, dumbass."

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT." Oh my God.

"If you didn't mean it, then why'd you say it?" Could Soul be any more dense?!

Oh hey look, Marie's back in her old outfit. Huh.

Anyway, I like Kim and Jackie's new outfits. I like the fact that all of the new outfits have matching themes for each weapon/technician team. Kim and Jackie have matching jackets, Soul and Maka have matching jackets, the Troika have matching jackets, and even Tsubaki and Black Star get their own motifs with the modified sleeveless tops and scarfs. Neat.

Oh yeah so now Stein and Black Star are training. Because we haven't seen enough of this yet, apparently. (Story? Movement? Any time now, Ohkubo.) So yeah, Stein of course is the ideal sparring partner for Black Star, since they both have the same Super Special Awesome WAVELENGTH PUNCH attack. Stein thinks to himself that Black Star's wavelength is so powerful that it would actually hurt like a bitch if he got hit with it. Oh, Stein.

And then he does get hit. And it does hurt like a bitch. And Stein's all like wow Black Star has improved a lot HEY OW.

"But," Stein says. "I know something that you do not know."

"And what is that?" Black Star asks.

"I am not right-handed."

...Okay, okay, so they didn't actually say that. But Stein does surprise Black Star by suddenly switching to his left fist, and then proceeding to beat the everliving shit out of him.

Watching this, Ox comments that maaaaaaybe Stein is going a bit too far for a mere practice fight... But Kilik responds that, no, for two fighters at that level, a beating like the one that Black Star is receiving is also part of "just practice."

Does anybody else find it amusing that Ox thinks that Stein is going too far? Stein?!?! This is the guy who terrorized the entire school by killing a beloved teacher and turning him into a zombie, all in the name of SCIENCE. Oh, and he convinced Maka & Co. that he had killed Black Star during their first fight against him. Not to mention the fact that he lifted up Maka's shirt and rather convincingly threatened to vivisect her... this during an EXTRACIRRICULAR LESSON.

I don't think that Stein knows the meaning of "going too far."

Okay so now Patti is shooting at some shit. (Story? Movement? Do we really need another three pages of How Awesome Patti Is, here?) Sid is both terrified by her, uh, "attitude," and amazed that despite her insane, all-over-the-place stances, she still manages to hit all of her targets.

Ridiculous shooting stances? I think that Patti learned from the master.



Anyway, Sid figures that it would be counterproductive (and possibly hazardous to his health) to correct Patti's form right now, so he gives up. And at least she's holding Liz right-side up and shooting with her actual trigger finger, unlike some people, so whatever.

Speaking of some people...

Oh no wait, not yet. First we have to see Tsubaki pretending to be a tiger and chasing around Fire, Thunder, and Angela. Meanwhile, Harvar does his best impression of an emo fashion model (Oh, Ohkubo!) and angsts about how the rest of them weapons don't have any special training today, so they have too much free time.

Is Tsubaki wearing hotpants? I thought that her new outfit was a skirt.

Moving on. Big Daddy T-Rex is spying on everyone with his mirror, chillaxing and drinking tea. He asks Azusa if they've found Justin yet, and she's like "No, not yet," and Daddy is like "You should try to find Justin 'cause I think he maybe kinda sorta has some connection to that dude who kidnapped my widdle pookums." And then Azusa's like, "Oooooh, okay, so it's two birds with one stone, then?" And Daddy's like, "Yes, even though pretty much the entire fandom had already figured out that this was my brilliant plan two chapters ago, I feel the need to wear this spiffy Captain Exposition Hat and explain it all to you again because I like the sound of my own nasaly voice." And Azusa's like, "All righty then, I'll make finding Justin a top priority. But I still don't understand why he betrayed us."

Oooh, oooh! I know why!

Because Clown. That's why.

(I love the fact that I can type "Because Clown" and it makes completely perfect sense in this context.)

Okay, okay. Time for this month's helping of bondage fanservice. We cut to a church with...

WTF. The scanslation just came out. The scanslation is already out.

Jesus CHRIST, people! I've only had this month's issue of GanGan in my hands for a total of one hour as of this writing, and I was waiting right at the front door when the bookstore around the corner opened up this morning! Holy shazbit you guys are fast.

Moving on. Pedobait Cannon Fodder Bishie is punching Kid and being a dick. "Gopher," Noah warns him, "That's enough."

Gopher?!

Gopher?!

Gopher?!?!

Okay. He's dead meat. He has an animal-based name, he is SO not going to survive this storyarc.

"Kid," Noah says, "Please do not re-arrange the contents of my collection without my permission..."

Ohkubo, that is an imperative. Politely-worded for maximum creep value, yes. But still an imperative. Why are you ending Noah's imperative word bubble with a string of FREAKIN GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING ELLIPSES?!?!

You bastard!

"I already put tabs on the pages," Noah says. "My method of organization may appear messy to you, but it is quite easy for me to use." Wait, he actually put tabs on the pages of the Book of Eibon?! What a dork.

Kid, however, being awesome, laughs at Noah's face. "Sorry, but I've got issues with being left inside a collection as messy as yours. If you won't even put it all in proper order, it's quite upsetting."

Oh, Kid. Please continue being an obsessive-compulsive messiah!



And then of course Gopher punches Kid the stomach and snarls at him, "How dare you talk back to Noah-sama like that!"

Anyway, Noah's like "Gopher please to be stopping with the punching of my collection LOOK AT MY CREEPY FACE." So I guess Gopher and company don't count as part of the collection, then. And Giriko is drunk and Justin's a creepy little dick and blah blah blah, then Kid cuts in with the snarky, "Man, I really envy your headphones, Justin. If I had those then I wouldn't have to listen to all of your idiotic blathering."

So Noah says, "Gopher, if you please. We're far overdue for actual plot movement here. It's Kill Maka tiem naow."

And Kid is all like "DUDE WTF DON'T YOU DARE KILL MAKA I WILL EAT YOU WITH MY T-REX TEETH GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

And then Gopher - epic creepy expression FTW here, I love his eyebrows in this panel - says, "Aren't you lonely here all by yourself? Maybe being able to re-arrange the stiffened corpses of your friends will occupy your neurotic mind enough to keep you happy."

Dude.

Dude!

And back at Shibusen, Maka is being sparklypoo and Soul is still pouting. Spirit approaches them and says, "I have something to tell you."

Now back to Gopher. Wait, back to Gopher? If this were a movie, this would be some damn choppy directing right here.

Anyway, Gopher apparently has Super Special Awesome powers too, and he comments to himself, "I am the only one who can satisfy Noah-sama."

Uh...

"I am the only one who can satisfy Noah-sama."

(Event Horizon in seven... six... five...)

"I am the only one who can satisfy Noah-sama."

(Four... three... two...)

"I am the only one who can satisfy Noah-sama."



Edited to add: So like, is Giriko ever going to do anything? Ever?!

Edited again: Yes, yes, I know. Yet another month without any news from Medusa or Crona. Goddammit, Ohkubo.

Edit the Third: THIS recap is far superior to my own, hands down.

Edit the Fourth: Guys, I'm pretty sure that the Cardcaptor Sakura references are intentional. Because that's just how Ohkubo rolls.

[identity profile] kiyuu.livejournal.com 2009-07-10 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
I swear to god if whatever Spirit has to tell Maka and Soul does not have anything to do with Chrona, I am flying out to Japan and punching Okubo in the face.
ext_6355: (Default)

[identity profile] nenena.livejournal.com 2009-07-10 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
I also reaaaally hope that next month we hear something about Crona, too.

I suspect, however, that Spirit might be approaching Maka and Soul to tell them about Justin's betrayal. I'm not sure if any of the kids know about it yet. But the teachers know about it, and they know that Justin is aiming to kill Maka, so maybe that's the info that Maka is about to hear.

[identity profile] kiyuu.livejournal.com 2009-07-10 02:54 am (UTC)(link)
... Yeah, good point.

Or you know, we could have something at the end. Or something. It's just so frustrating that he THREW THAT SHOT OUT THERE and still hasn't explained it. 8(