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Soul Eater Chapter 61: Et tu, Justin?
Full recap is GO!
The chapter opens with Giriko. Giriko stumbling around a ruined and deserted Baba Yaga castle, looking half-drugged out of his mind, pissed off, and confused. "What...? What...?"
"WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUCK?!?!?!"
Heeee, Giriko's scream of WTFery is overlaid with an image of the smoldering ruins of Baba Yaga Castle as seen from the outside. Classic.
The castle is deserted... Did something happen while I was asleep...?
I dunno, yuh think?!
Giriko sits down on top of a bit of crumbling rubble and hangs his head. "Were we defeated...?"
A shadow looms over him. "That certainly appears to be the case. It would have been best if you had continued sleeping like a good boy. But unfortunately, since you got up and have been wandering around, I've been searching for you."
Giriko looks up. "Who...?!"
and
WHOA HEY IT'S JUSTIN
WITH... a giant evil-looking robot... thing?
Yes. It is Justin with a giant evil-looking robot thing. Said robot... thing definitely looks like it stole one of its arms from the Clown, too.
And Giriko's all like, "Is that a giant robot in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"
Justin smiles down at Giriko and HOLY SHIT his eyes look creepy in this panel. Oh, and his outfit has changed, too. Now he's got a sideways-eye pendant instead of a skull pendant around his neck. And his sleeves... Oh God, his sleeves. No more crosses decorating his sleeves. But he's got creepy kishin-eyes instead. "Giriko-san. Won't you come with us?"
Giriko looks appropriately freaked out by this "offer". He glares at Justin, his face a mix of anger and horror. "Justin Law. You..."
The next panel has no images, just Justin's word bubble imposed over blank nothingness. "Oh. I knew it..."
(Edited to add: It's been pointed out to me that I may be mistaken in attributing this word bubble to Justin, it may indeed be Giriko speaking. I really don't know, as the speech style itself isn't giving any clues. So, um, this may be Giriko speaking instead of Justin. Maybe the confusion is deliberate on Ohkubo's part? Or maybe I'm just bad at picking up "voice" cues in Japanese writing. Anyway...)
SCENE CHANGE
DEATH CITY
Kim, Jackie, and Tsubaki - for some reason, wearing their gym uniforms - are standing in front of Shinigami-sama nervously. Angela is there too, her hand touching Tsubaki's leg.
And Shinigami-sama's all like, "WAZZZUUUUUUUUUP. Wo~o~o~w, that sure was a tough mission, wasn't it! But good job!"
Kim is like, "Wa... Wassup..." And Tsubaki's like, "Ohayou gozaimasu." And then Shinigami-sama for some reason bounces around and goes "WAZZZUUUUUUUUUP WAZZZUUUUUUUUUP" again.
SHINIGAMI-SAMA: COKED OUT OF HIS GODDAMN MIND.
Or maybe all that LSD he did in the sixties has left him laboring under the permanent illusion that he's starring in a Budweiser commercial.
Nah, not LSD. It had to have been cocaine. That must be why he wears a mask all the time. Because sometime during the seventies, his nose finally fell off.
SHINIGAMI-SAMA: OBVIOUSLY THE LONG-LOST LOVECHILD OF ALBUS DUMBLEDORE AND DR. ROCKSO THE ROCK-AND-ROLL CLOWN.
Y'know, it's times like this that I'm glad I saw the Soul Eater anime before I started reading the manga. Because if it weren't for Rikiya Koyama's voice, I totally would have imagined all of Shinigami-sama's manga dialogue being spoken in the voice of Dr. Rockso from Metalocalypse. Even so, when I was watching the anime, I always kinda-sorta expected that eventually Shinigami-sama would start adding that trademark KU-KU-KU YEA-AH! to the end of his sentences.
"Heeeeeey kids, I'm Shinigami-sama! I DO COCAINE! KU-KU-KU YEA-AH! Shinigami's gonna make you a balloon animal! Do you like cocaine? I do cocaine! No seriously dudes a loooooooooot of cocaine. Let's go get some hookers and ice k-k-k-kreeeaaam!"
And y'know, if you replaced 80% of Shinigami-sama's word bubbles with I do cocaine! and KU-KU-KU YEA-AH! then this manga would STILL make perfect sense. No, it would make more than perfect sense. It would make a lot more sense that it does NOW because it would explain a lot about Shinigami-sama right off the bat.
So anyway, Shinigami-sama goes on. "Yup. Yup. So, Sid-kun. About the matter of these two witches, if you please."
"Roger!!" And Sid steps to attention. "However... Even though both of the girls in question are witches, one is a specialist of regenerative magic, while the other is afflicted with the destructive instincts that naturally accompany the 'path of magic'. However, she is still immature, and has not yet expressed any leaning toward the 'path of magic.'"
Kim looks sad. Angela looks like she has no idea what's going on.
Sid goes on. "I believe that Kim has not been and will not ever be influenced by the 'path of magic'. But the destructive instincts may yet awaken within Angela..."
"Welp, that's right," Shinigami-sama says.
"Wait, Shinigami-sama!" Kim protests. "If that's the case, then I've got an idea! If I can periodically infuse Angela with some of my healing magic, then it might be enough to keep her destructive instincts in check..."
"Also," Jackie adds, "Shinigami-sama might feel hesitant to use this, but, we did find the Morality Manipulation Machine inside Baba Yaga's Castle."
Wait, so they didn't destroy it?
They didn't destroy it?! They brought it back to Shibusen?!
Oh, like that's not going to turn into a Chekov's Gun later or anything. Sheesh.
Finally Tsubaki asks, "So, um... About Angela..."
"Yup yup okay okay!" Shinigami-sama answers cheerfully. "We'll take her in. Anything else?"
Then Angela looks up at Tsubaki. "Hey, hey, Tsubaki~."
"What?"
"Is Mifune gonna come pick me up soon?"
Tsubaki's all like, "....."
And Sid's all like, "....."
And really I can't get mad at the ellipses this time, because daaaaamn, I'm just crying too hard.
(Has anybody else ever had to deal with explaining death to a kid who's reaaaaally too young to get it? It sucks, lemme tell you. It just sucks.)
SCENE CHANGE
SHIBUSEN'S INFIRMARY
"Hold on a minute, Black Star!!" Soul exclaims.
Black Star is trying to crawl out of his bed but he's like TOTALLY COVERED IN BANDAGES (shota bandage fetishists, your day has come!) and he shouts, "So you assholes all decided to just decieve Angela?!"
"It's not a deception," Soul says. "It's just that sometimes a lie can be a useful thing."
Black Star sulks. "What the hell are you talking about... I don't get it."
Soul pushes Black Star back down onto his back. "So you're gonna run off and see Angela, and then what?! Angela is a witch. We don't know if the 'path of magic' is going to cause her to go batshit or not. Right now she's in a really unstable condition. And you think it would be a good idea to run right up to her, right now, and tell her 'Oh hey I just killed Mifune'?!"
Black Star glares up at Soul.
"Try to be a little bit more adult about this, Black Star," Soul says.
"Soul... Your hand really hurts."
"Ah!!" Soul quickly lifts his hand off Black Star. "Sorry..."
Black Star turns his head toward the open window in his room, and sighs. He puts on his Sad Face and thinks of Mifune.
"Soul... I am."
"What?"
"I'm already becoming an adult."
"....." "....."
Yes, that is Soul having TWO WORD BUBBLES of NOTHING BUT ELLIPSES in a SINGLE PANEL.
GODDAMMIT ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!
"It's getting cold in here," Soul says. "I'll close the window."
"No... Wait, Soul. Please leave it open. Just a little bit longer."
SCENE CHANGE
BASKETBALL COURT
Maka, Liz, and Patti are standing around and... not playing basketball. Losers. But my goodness, what's this? New Shibusen uniforms?! Why yes, they ARE wearing new Shibusen uniforms!!
Holy crap, you guys! How many different school uniforms does Shibusen go through in a given year?! Isn't this like the third official school uniform we've seen in the manga?!
SHINIGAMI-SAMA: SINGLE-HANDEDLY KEEPING THE NEVADA GARMENT INDUSTRY AFLOAT IN THESE TROUBLED ECONOMIC TIMES.
Anywhoo. We readers are apparently entering this scene in the midst of their conversation. "So then Kid was what, actually eaten by the book?" Maka asks.
"Yeah," Liz answers. I love how calm she looks when she says that. Yeah, pretty much.
"And he was like 'Aaaaaaaaaah! and it was like Gyobaaaaaaa!" Patti adds.
"He said that the book was called the 'Book of Eibon,'" Liz adds.
"Eh?!" Maka reacts, snapping to attention.
"We thought that maybe you might know something about it," Patti says, "since you know so much about books."
"Eh?!" Maka repeats. "Well... Yeah, but... I really don't know anything about that..."
"Aw, crap," Patti says, spinning a basketball on her fingertip. "You suck!"
The Book of Eibon, Maka thinks, her eyes narrowing. Maybe, just maybe...
SCENE CHANGE
SHIBUSEN EAST ASIA BRANCH CAMPUS
"Azusa-chan~" Shinigami-sama says, "Do we have a pinpoint on Justin's whereabouts yet?"
"My apologies," Azusa answers, "But his location appears to be untraceable."
"Hu~uh. Is that so."
"According to the investigation results that BJ secretly returned to us before his death, there were many suspicious points about Justin Law's character. And as for the results of my own ensuing investigation... Justin has no alibi for the timeframe of BJ's murder."
SCENE CHANGE
A DESERT
Justin is walking along with a GIANT COFFIN-SHAPED SPEAKER dragging behind him. The speaker is blowing out music so loud that it's causing a GIANT SANDSTORM to follow in Justin's wake. Well, that's one way to make sure that nobody can find you, I guess. But wait, what about the fact that EXTREMELY LOUD MUSIC is giving away your position?
Um, where did Giriko and the giant robot go?
Oh please don't tell me that Justin just killed Giriko.
Justin suddenly throws out his arms and starts shouting a prayer. "OH, MY BELOVED GOD! PLEASE FORGIVE AND ABSOLVE ME OF THE SINS I AM ABOUT TO COMMIT IN YOUR NAME! OH~~ BELOVED GOD~~"
He stops, and we see that he is standing on a sandy dune overlooking Death City in the distance. In an exact repeat of the first time that he appeared in the manga, Justin says, "It's been so very long, Death City."
He then adds, "Oh Clown, my thanks for your guidance thus far." We see a shadowy panel of the robot that kinda-sorta looks like parts of it have been borrowed from the Clown. Hmmm. But where IS that thing? It is in the coffin? Is it just in Justin's head?!
One vote for it's just in Justin's head because hot DAMN would that make him officially crazypants.
(That might also explain why Giriko looked so horrified when Justin asked him to "come with us" earlier. Because Giriko may have only seen ONE person standing in front of him.)
Oh my god, you guys.
Justin's headphones.
Justin's headphones are now KISHIN EYES.
Suddenly! Justin notices the presence of two cloaked figures standing on a cliff behind him. He turns around.
"God, what a earsplitting noise," one figure says.
"The same as always," the other figure says. "What a show-off."
"And despite this, somehow, he was incredibly difficult to find, wasn't he?" the first figure says again.
The two of them dramatically throw off their cloaks.
OH
FUCK
YEAH
IT'S STEIN AND MARIE
"We've found you, Justin," Stein says.
Man, Stein doesn't look like he's changed at all, 'cept for the fact that he still doesn't have his glasses. Marie, on the other hand, is wearing a bitchin' new outfit, and... Oh my gosh. She's wearing sandals. Bare feet and sandals. Is this her way of remembering BJ? That's... kind of awesome, actually. Really awesome. Also, they look fabulous on her.
Ah ha ha ha now they're both doing this beautiful "stupid dramatic pose" thing where Marie spins around Stein and then dramatically stomps and plants her feet in the dirt. Taking a page from the Kid book, I guess. (Oh, Marie and Stein. You are so adorkable!) Marie glares down at Justin with murder in hereyes eye. "Why did you kill BJ?"
Justin smiles up at her. "BJ-san's soul perception ability was too dangerous. Kishin-sama simply could not rest at ease as long as he was still alive."
SHINIGAMI-SAMA: SURE KNOWS HOW TO PICK 'EM.
"And you just came waltzing back to Death City like you didn't have a care in the world," Stein says. "What's your business here? Are you after Maka Albarn?"
Justin just smiles at Stein. And AAAAAAAH HOLY SHIT NIGHTMARE FACE JESUS CHRIST!!! That is seriously the creepiest smile EVER oh my god.
Ladies and Gentlemen, due to the unexpected absence of Noah this evening, the role of Monsieur Creepypants will be played by his understudy Justin Law. Enjoy the show!
Marie leaps down from the cliff and charges at Justin. "I won't let you hurt our students!!"
She punches him, a clean uppercut right to the center of his chest. But Justin doesn't even stagger. He freezes, and Marie freezes, her fist still against his heart. "You may be a Death Scythe," Justin says, "but you're still merely a woman, and--"
AND THEN SOMETHING COMES POPPING OUT OF MARIE'S FIST
AND THEN JUSTIN GOES FLYYYYYYYYYYYYING THROUGH THE AIR LIKE HOT DAMN
oh yeah and his coffin goes flying too
BUT THEN!
Justin manages to flip himself around in mid-air and land on top of his coffin.
Marie clenches her fist, out of which a... a... a tube... thing... is growing. (Wait, didn't I see this in a Junji Ito manga?)
"Marie," Stein says, walking up behind her, "Have you calmed down yet?"
"Not yet. Not even close."
"Even so," Stein says, putting back on his glasses. (Yes, apparently he has his glasses with him. Yes, he's putting them back on.) "Our opponent is someone who elevated himself to a Death Sycthe ranking without the aid of a partner. It would be best if you turned into my weapon right now."
"Understood," Marie says. And THEN! In a dramatic FLASH OF LIGHTING! She turns into a...
a...
uhm...
What?
JiggawhaaaaaAAAAAAAA?!
What IS that thing?
It's fugly and I don't like it. (*whines*) Her tonfa form in the anime looked waaaaaay cooler. I don't even know what the fuck this thing IS.
But anyway, Stein grabs the WTF-STICK and then little black tendrils of OH GOD WTF I DON'T EVEN KNOW wrap around his wrist as the WTF-STICK extends LIKE A PENIS. LIKE A PENIS IN STEIN'S HAND.
"IZUNA!", Stein says. But the kanji says lightning rope so um, okay? I have no idea what's going on with IZUNA, whether this is indeed a Japanese word (although it doesn't match with the reading of the kanji, so probably not) or if it's another phonetic butchering of a word stolen from Norse mythology or possibly Okinawan culture (because the WTF-STICK certainly looks extremely tonfa-like), or whatever.
"Demon hammer Mjolnir," Justin says. Oh thank God we're going to get some exposition here because I have no idea WTF Marie just turned into. "Infusing her technician's nerve endings with electricity, she can rapidly increase her technician's motor abilities."
"Thanks for the explanation," nakey-Marie says.
And then it's time for
I won't bore you with the details, but there is a lot of punching and kicking, and Marie's penis-form extends until we are definitely back in tonfa territory, meanwhile Stein is beating the everloving shit out of Justin, while these creepy black tendrils from Marie keep wrapping around his wrist and crawling up his arm.
He's so fast! Justin thinks.
Yeah, pretty much. Stein is beating the shit out of Justin and not even breaking a sweat doing it.
He's TOO fast, Justin thinks, as Stein slams him so hard into the ground that he forms a crater. He's so fast that I can't even tell what he's doing to me!
Stein's wearing his creepy grin now. Thank you, creepy grin. It's been a while since we've seen you last!
"Hmm," Justin says. "Would this be a good time to show you my demon tool?"
Show you my demon tool, or pull out my demon tool, or however I'm gonna translate that line, it still sounds awfully dirty, doesn't it?
"A demon tool?" Marie asks. "Is it that coffin...?"
"Oh, no. This is just a speaker." Then Justin pulls out a piece of paper.
"Paper?" Marie asks.
Have we suddenly warped into a Read or Die crossover?
Is Justin about to steal Father Anderson's schtick from Hellsing?!
"Ah well," Justin says. "Here's where we part ways. For now."
And then HOLY SHIT
HE LIKE GETS SUCKED INTO THE PIECE OF PAPER (deliberately?!)
And then the piece of paper - which we can see now looks an awful lot like it's been ripped from the Book of Eibon - slowly flutters through the air, then suddenly bursts into flame, leaving behind nothing but a smear of ash.
Stein, still holding Marie, stares at the giant coffin-shaped speaker that Justin rather thoughtlessly left behind, glowering.
SCENE CHANGE
DEATH ROOM
Shinigami-sama is standing there.
So is Sid. Sid is wearing a shirt that says "ZOMBIE" on it. Anvilicious.
Sid is standing beside one of those oh-so-Japanese vertical paper signboards, upon which is written "NEW PROJECT"
Sid flips the paper over to the next page, and...
"SHIBUSEN ELITE YOUTH CORPS" is written there.
We can't see who else is in the room with Sid and Shinigami-sama, but does anybody want to take three guesses?
"Or, if you wanna abbreviate," Shinigami-sama says, "Shibugakitai.KU-KU-KU YEA-AH!"
Shibugakitai would be like, I dunno, "Shibu-brat-Corp," or something. I dunno, it's not very elegant in translation.
(Edited to add: CNet translated this as "Shibu-Kids Squad," and I like that a lot.)
By the way, is anybody else weirded out by the fact that we have yet to be shown any inkling of a reaction from Shinigami-sama regarding the whole Kid/Noah fiasco? I mean, does Shinigami-sama just not even care about the fact that his son's been abducted by a creepypants monster and more-likely-than-not pedophile?
SHINIGAMI-SAMA: FATHER OF THE FUCKING YEAR.
Nah, I shouldn't be too hard on the guy. I'm sure he understands that for the time being, "son in limbo" is not nearly as pressing a matter as "HOLY SHIT JUSTIN IS TRYING TO KILL MY OTHER STUDENTS", so whatever. Also, the fact that Justin maaaaaaay be in cahoots with Noah (or at least that's the conclusion that I'm drawing from the whole sucked-into-a-mystical-page-portal thing, although that may be premature on my part) nicely ties both sides of the clusterfuck together. By dealing with one problem, Shinigami-sama may be able to deal with that *other* problem at the same time as well.
Or maybe Shinigami-sama just assumes that something like this will happen eventually, in which case Noah will inevitably throw up his hands and just let Kid go.
Kid: Kinda like Excalibur, in a way. He's not somebody that you'd actually want to have glued to your hip on a permanent basis.
And, on the other hand, maybe Shinigami-sama isn't too concerned because he anticipates that Noah will be easy to defeat. Seriously. All Shinigami-sama has to do is place mint condition 1909 Horus Wagner baseball card, a copy of Detective Comics #27, and an 1857 Tre Skilling Banco stamp inside of a giant mousetrap... and wait.
GIANT MOUSETRAP: If it worked in a Don Bluth animated film, then by golly, it's good enough for Shinigami-sama.
Or maybe, if Shinigami-sama is tight on budget, he'll forgo the giant mousetrap and stick with the classic box-stick-string setup instead.
I really do think that this would work in terms of luring Noah into Death City, though. I mean, come on. I can't be the only one who imagines Noah as the type of guy who shuns Playboy but instead jerks off to The Beckett Price Guide to Baseball Cards. Or the Brookman Stamp Price Guide. Or the Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide.
"Oh, 1909 mint condition Honus Wagner! Oh, the dirty dirty things I could do to you, with your naughty white border, your sexy 3.65 centimeter by 6.67 centimeter shape, your tempting little waterstains, you vixen of a card, you. Rrrrwar."
Speaking of which, what would one of Kid's typical sex fantasies actually consist of? Assuming that he even has erotic dreams in the first place, I suspect that most of them would include:
1. Candles,
2. Bondage,
3. An octopus, and
4. Former Western movie heartthrob and two-term conservative U.S. President Ronald Reagan.
Not the old-dude version of Ronald Reagan. The young, hot Ronald Reagan who starred in Stallion Road, Santa Fe Trail, and Cowboy from Brooklyn.
Come on, you guys. I can't be the only person here who ships Rebuplican Cowboy Jesus with OCD Goth Cowboy Jesus.
OMGtheirloveisso... messianic.
(I was going to say "OMGtheirloveissoHEAD-STUCK-UP-THEIR-ASSES but that would be a disrespectful thing to say about a former U.S. President. And far be it for me to be disrespectful to any of our Glorious Leaders past or present.)
But seriously, I can totally see Kid fapping to this:
"Oh, Ronnie! You can Iran my Contra any day! No seriously, I really mean it, Shibusen could totally use some sweet surface-to-air missiles. I'll pay you with my body."
And HEY-YO:
Yes, that is shirtless Ronnie with symmetrical baby goats.
By the way, IMDB.com has a whole section of pictures of Ronald Reagan shirtless. I swear there's like a hundred of them. Way to go, IMDB photo uploaders! Way to go.
Battle damage. Hawt.
OMG you guys I am shipping this so hard right now. Kid and Reagan could totally team up and it would be totally awesome because it would be all like HE's history's sexiest yet dumbest badass U.S. President and HE's the world's sexiest yet dumbest badass shinigami and Together... they fightestate tax COMMUNISM!
goddammit asymmetrical arrrrrrrrrgh
Boner-killer. Sigh.
Oh yeah, what, chapter recap? Uhm, the chapter recap ended about five hundred words ago. Now I'm just dicking around and displaying my id all over my livejournal for the whole world to see.
(So, I see that there's a new kink meme in town. At this point, if I went over there and requested Kid/Ronald Reagan/octopus with bondage + candles, everybody would know that it was me, right? Right.)
Oh well. Until next month, Ohkubo. And geez, have you gotten all of those ellipses out of your system yet, or what?!
Edited after the fact, to clarify a couple things:
1. My apologies if this didn't come across clearly in my recap, but none of the Shibusen kids were happy in this chapter. None of them even smiled, except for one obviously-fake smile that Tsubaki gave to Angela, for Angela's sake. The only emotions that most of the main characters expressed were either sadness, anger, or nervousness. Shinigami-sama was the only one cracking jokes.
2. I don't understand where the "Liz and Patti aren't reacting to Kid's situation" meme is coming from. They already got their histrionics over and done with, a couple chapters ago. Now they're being constructive and doing something about it. And yep, Patti is pretty pissed off when it turns out that Maka can't help them. So it's not like they've forgotten about Kid or anything. Sheesh.
3. As for Shinigami-sama not having any sort of reaction... No, I don't think any of us were expecting him to break down sobbing, or throw a shitfit or anything, because that's obviously not his style. I don't think any of us were expecting him to stop cracking jokes or acting goofy, either. What I DO think is a glaring omission in this chapter, however, is any sort of acknowledgement of Kid's peril on behalf of his father. Even something along the lines of, "Kid's been kidnapped? Oh, snickerdoodles! Welp, that sucks. But sorry guys, right now there's nothing we can do about that" would have sufficed. To not have Shinigami-sama even *mention* what happened to Kid just feels really, really off here. At least it does to me. My opinion, let me show you it.
4. I understand it's frustrating that there are no scans or scanslations yet. And I am totally cool with y'all expressing that frustration here. What I am really NOT cool with, however, is anybody saying that they're "pissed off" that scans aren't up yet, or accusing anybody else of "withholding" scans. I mean, wow. Entitlement issues, much? You guys are getting pirated manga, translated by volunteers and delivered to you for FREE on the internet, and it is NOT going to kill you to wait a few fucking days for it. Try not to get "pissed off" at the people are inevitably going to scan and translate this shit for you, okay? And definitely please don't accuse anyone of "withholding." I mean, Jesus F. Cowboy Christ, people!
The chapter opens with Giriko. Giriko stumbling around a ruined and deserted Baba Yaga castle, looking half-drugged out of his mind, pissed off, and confused. "What...? What...?"
"WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUCK?!?!?!"
Heeee, Giriko's scream of WTFery is overlaid with an image of the smoldering ruins of Baba Yaga Castle as seen from the outside. Classic.
The castle is deserted... Did something happen while I was asleep...?
I dunno, yuh think?!
Giriko sits down on top of a bit of crumbling rubble and hangs his head. "Were we defeated...?"
A shadow looms over him. "That certainly appears to be the case. It would have been best if you had continued sleeping like a good boy. But unfortunately, since you got up and have been wandering around, I've been searching for you."
Giriko looks up. "Who...?!"
and
WHOA HEY IT'S JUSTIN
WITH... a giant evil-looking robot... thing?
Yes. It is Justin with a giant evil-looking robot thing. Said robot... thing definitely looks like it stole one of its arms from the Clown, too.
Justin smiles down at Giriko and HOLY SHIT his eyes look creepy in this panel. Oh, and his outfit has changed, too. Now he's got a sideways-eye pendant instead of a skull pendant around his neck. And his sleeves... Oh God, his sleeves. No more crosses decorating his sleeves. But he's got creepy kishin-eyes instead. "Giriko-san. Won't you come with us?"
Giriko looks appropriately freaked out by this "offer". He glares at Justin, his face a mix of anger and horror. "Justin Law. You..."
The next panel has no images, just Justin's word bubble imposed over blank nothingness. "Oh. I knew it..."
(Edited to add: It's been pointed out to me that I may be mistaken in attributing this word bubble to Justin, it may indeed be Giriko speaking. I really don't know, as the speech style itself isn't giving any clues. So, um, this may be Giriko speaking instead of Justin. Maybe the confusion is deliberate on Ohkubo's part? Or maybe I'm just bad at picking up "voice" cues in Japanese writing. Anyway...)
SCENE CHANGE
DEATH CITY
Kim, Jackie, and Tsubaki - for some reason, wearing their gym uniforms - are standing in front of Shinigami-sama nervously. Angela is there too, her hand touching Tsubaki's leg.
And Shinigami-sama's all like, "WAZZZUUUUUUUUUP. Wo~o~o~w, that sure was a tough mission, wasn't it! But good job!"
Kim is like, "Wa... Wassup..." And Tsubaki's like, "Ohayou gozaimasu." And then Shinigami-sama for some reason bounces around and goes "WAZZZUUUUUUUUUP WAZZZUUUUUUUUUP" again.
Or maybe all that LSD he did in the sixties has left him laboring under the permanent illusion that he's starring in a Budweiser commercial.
Nah, not LSD. It had to have been cocaine. That must be why he wears a mask all the time. Because sometime during the seventies, his nose finally fell off.
Y'know, it's times like this that I'm glad I saw the Soul Eater anime before I started reading the manga. Because if it weren't for Rikiya Koyama's voice, I totally would have imagined all of Shinigami-sama's manga dialogue being spoken in the voice of Dr. Rockso from Metalocalypse. Even so, when I was watching the anime, I always kinda-sorta expected that eventually Shinigami-sama would start adding that trademark KU-KU-KU YEA-AH! to the end of his sentences.
"Heeeeeey kids, I'm Shinigami-sama! I DO COCAINE! KU-KU-KU YEA-AH! Shinigami's gonna make you a balloon animal! Do you like cocaine? I do cocaine! No seriously dudes a loooooooooot of cocaine. Let's go get some hookers and ice k-k-k-kreeeaaam!"
And y'know, if you replaced 80% of Shinigami-sama's word bubbles with I do cocaine! and KU-KU-KU YEA-AH! then this manga would STILL make perfect sense. No, it would make more than perfect sense. It would make a lot more sense that it does NOW because it would explain a lot about Shinigami-sama right off the bat.
So anyway, Shinigami-sama goes on. "Yup. Yup. So, Sid-kun. About the matter of these two witches, if you please."
"Roger!!" And Sid steps to attention. "However... Even though both of the girls in question are witches, one is a specialist of regenerative magic, while the other is afflicted with the destructive instincts that naturally accompany the 'path of magic'. However, she is still immature, and has not yet expressed any leaning toward the 'path of magic.'"
Kim looks sad. Angela looks like she has no idea what's going on.
Sid goes on. "I believe that Kim has not been and will not ever be influenced by the 'path of magic'. But the destructive instincts may yet awaken within Angela..."
"Welp, that's right," Shinigami-sama says.
"Wait, Shinigami-sama!" Kim protests. "If that's the case, then I've got an idea! If I can periodically infuse Angela with some of my healing magic, then it might be enough to keep her destructive instincts in check..."
"Also," Jackie adds, "Shinigami-sama might feel hesitant to use this, but, we did find the Morality Manipulation Machine inside Baba Yaga's Castle."
Wait, so they didn't destroy it?
They didn't destroy it?! They brought it back to Shibusen?!
Oh, like that's not going to turn into a Chekov's Gun later or anything. Sheesh.
Finally Tsubaki asks, "So, um... About Angela..."
"Yup yup okay okay!" Shinigami-sama answers cheerfully. "We'll take her in. Anything else?"
Then Angela looks up at Tsubaki. "Hey, hey, Tsubaki~."
"What?"
"Is Mifune gonna come pick me up soon?"
Tsubaki's all like, "....."
And Sid's all like, "....."
And really I can't get mad at the ellipses this time, because daaaaamn, I'm just crying too hard.
(Has anybody else ever had to deal with explaining death to a kid who's reaaaaally too young to get it? It sucks, lemme tell you. It just sucks.)
SCENE CHANGE
SHIBUSEN'S INFIRMARY
"Hold on a minute, Black Star!!" Soul exclaims.
Black Star is trying to crawl out of his bed but he's like TOTALLY COVERED IN BANDAGES (shota bandage fetishists, your day has come!) and he shouts, "So you assholes all decided to just decieve Angela?!"
"It's not a deception," Soul says. "It's just that sometimes a lie can be a useful thing."
Black Star sulks. "What the hell are you talking about... I don't get it."
Soul pushes Black Star back down onto his back. "So you're gonna run off and see Angela, and then what?! Angela is a witch. We don't know if the 'path of magic' is going to cause her to go batshit or not. Right now she's in a really unstable condition. And you think it would be a good idea to run right up to her, right now, and tell her 'Oh hey I just killed Mifune'?!"
Black Star glares up at Soul.
"Try to be a little bit more adult about this, Black Star," Soul says.
"Soul... Your hand really hurts."
"Ah!!" Soul quickly lifts his hand off Black Star. "Sorry..."
Black Star turns his head toward the open window in his room, and sighs. He puts on his Sad Face and thinks of Mifune.
"Soul... I am."
"What?"
"I'm already becoming an adult."
"....." "....."
Yes, that is Soul having TWO WORD BUBBLES of NOTHING BUT ELLIPSES in a SINGLE PANEL.
GODDAMMIT ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!
"It's getting cold in here," Soul says. "I'll close the window."
"No... Wait, Soul. Please leave it open. Just a little bit longer."
SCENE CHANGE
BASKETBALL COURT
Maka, Liz, and Patti are standing around and... not playing basketball. Losers. But my goodness, what's this? New Shibusen uniforms?! Why yes, they ARE wearing new Shibusen uniforms!!
Holy crap, you guys! How many different school uniforms does Shibusen go through in a given year?! Isn't this like the third official school uniform we've seen in the manga?!
Anywhoo. We readers are apparently entering this scene in the midst of their conversation. "So then Kid was what, actually eaten by the book?" Maka asks.
"Yeah," Liz answers. I love how calm she looks when she says that. Yeah, pretty much.
"And he was like 'Aaaaaaaaaah! and it was like Gyobaaaaaaa!" Patti adds.
"He said that the book was called the 'Book of Eibon,'" Liz adds.
"Eh?!" Maka reacts, snapping to attention.
"We thought that maybe you might know something about it," Patti says, "since you know so much about books."
"Eh?!" Maka repeats. "Well... Yeah, but... I really don't know anything about that..."
"Aw, crap," Patti says, spinning a basketball on her fingertip. "You suck!"
The Book of Eibon, Maka thinks, her eyes narrowing. Maybe, just maybe...
SCENE CHANGE
SHIBUSEN EAST ASIA BRANCH CAMPUS
"Azusa-chan~" Shinigami-sama says, "Do we have a pinpoint on Justin's whereabouts yet?"
"My apologies," Azusa answers, "But his location appears to be untraceable."
"Hu~uh. Is that so."
"According to the investigation results that BJ secretly returned to us before his death, there were many suspicious points about Justin Law's character. And as for the results of my own ensuing investigation... Justin has no alibi for the timeframe of BJ's murder."
SCENE CHANGE
A DESERT
Justin is walking along with a GIANT COFFIN-SHAPED SPEAKER dragging behind him. The speaker is blowing out music so loud that it's causing a GIANT SANDSTORM to follow in Justin's wake. Well, that's one way to make sure that nobody can find you, I guess. But wait, what about the fact that EXTREMELY LOUD MUSIC is giving away your position?
Um, where did Giriko and the giant robot go?
Oh please don't tell me that Justin just killed Giriko.
Justin suddenly throws out his arms and starts shouting a prayer. "OH, MY BELOVED GOD! PLEASE FORGIVE AND ABSOLVE ME OF THE SINS I AM ABOUT TO COMMIT IN YOUR NAME! OH~~ BELOVED GOD~~"
He stops, and we see that he is standing on a sandy dune overlooking Death City in the distance. In an exact repeat of the first time that he appeared in the manga, Justin says, "It's been so very long, Death City."
He then adds, "Oh Clown, my thanks for your guidance thus far." We see a shadowy panel of the robot that kinda-sorta looks like parts of it have been borrowed from the Clown. Hmmm. But where IS that thing? It is in the coffin? Is it just in Justin's head?!
One vote for it's just in Justin's head because hot DAMN would that make him officially crazypants.
(That might also explain why Giriko looked so horrified when Justin asked him to "come with us" earlier. Because Giriko may have only seen ONE person standing in front of him.)
Oh my god, you guys.
Justin's headphones.
Justin's headphones are now KISHIN EYES.
Suddenly! Justin notices the presence of two cloaked figures standing on a cliff behind him. He turns around.
"God, what a earsplitting noise," one figure says.
"The same as always," the other figure says. "What a show-off."
"And despite this, somehow, he was incredibly difficult to find, wasn't he?" the first figure says again.
The two of them dramatically throw off their cloaks.
OH
FUCK
YEAH
IT'S STEIN AND MARIE
"We've found you, Justin," Stein says.
Man, Stein doesn't look like he's changed at all, 'cept for the fact that he still doesn't have his glasses. Marie, on the other hand, is wearing a bitchin' new outfit, and... Oh my gosh. She's wearing sandals. Bare feet and sandals. Is this her way of remembering BJ? That's... kind of awesome, actually. Really awesome. Also, they look fabulous on her.
Ah ha ha ha now they're both doing this beautiful "stupid dramatic pose" thing where Marie spins around Stein and then dramatically stomps and plants her feet in the dirt. Taking a page from the Kid book, I guess. (Oh, Marie and Stein. You are so adorkable!) Marie glares down at Justin with murder in her
Justin smiles up at her. "BJ-san's soul perception ability was too dangerous. Kishin-sama simply could not rest at ease as long as he was still alive."
"And you just came waltzing back to Death City like you didn't have a care in the world," Stein says. "What's your business here? Are you after Maka Albarn?"
Justin just smiles at Stein. And AAAAAAAH HOLY SHIT NIGHTMARE FACE JESUS CHRIST!!! That is seriously the creepiest smile EVER oh my god.
Ladies and Gentlemen, due to the unexpected absence of Noah this evening, the role of Monsieur Creepypants will be played by his understudy Justin Law. Enjoy the show!
Marie leaps down from the cliff and charges at Justin. "I won't let you hurt our students!!"
She punches him, a clean uppercut right to the center of his chest. But Justin doesn't even stagger. He freezes, and Marie freezes, her fist still against his heart. "You may be a Death Scythe," Justin says, "but you're still merely a woman, and--"
AND THEN SOMETHING COMES POPPING OUT OF MARIE'S FIST
AND THEN JUSTIN GOES FLYYYYYYYYYYYYING THROUGH THE AIR LIKE HOT DAMN
oh yeah and his coffin goes flying too
BUT THEN!
Justin manages to flip himself around in mid-air and land on top of his coffin.
Marie clenches her fist, out of which a... a... a tube... thing... is growing. (Wait, didn't I see this in a Junji Ito manga?)
"Marie," Stein says, walking up behind her, "Have you calmed down yet?"
"Not yet. Not even close."
"Even so," Stein says, putting back on his glasses. (Yes, apparently he has his glasses with him. Yes, he's putting them back on.) "Our opponent is someone who elevated himself to a Death Sycthe ranking without the aid of a partner. It would be best if you turned into my weapon right now."
"Understood," Marie says. And THEN! In a dramatic FLASH OF LIGHTING! She turns into a...
a...
uhm...
What?
JiggawhaaaaaAAAAAAAA?!
What IS that thing?
It's fugly and I don't like it. (*whines*) Her tonfa form in the anime looked waaaaaay cooler. I don't even know what the fuck this thing IS.
But anyway, Stein grabs the WTF-STICK and then little black tendrils of OH GOD WTF I DON'T EVEN KNOW wrap around his wrist as the WTF-STICK extends LIKE A PENIS. LIKE A PENIS IN STEIN'S HAND.
"IZUNA!", Stein says. But the kanji says lightning rope so um, okay? I have no idea what's going on with IZUNA, whether this is indeed a Japanese word (although it doesn't match with the reading of the kanji, so probably not) or if it's another phonetic butchering of a word stolen from Norse mythology or possibly Okinawan culture (because the WTF-STICK certainly looks extremely tonfa-like), or whatever.
"Demon hammer Mjolnir," Justin says. Oh thank God we're going to get some exposition here because I have no idea WTF Marie just turned into. "Infusing her technician's nerve endings with electricity, she can rapidly increase her technician's motor abilities."
"Thanks for the explanation," nakey-Marie says.
And then it's time for
I won't bore you with the details, but there is a lot of punching and kicking, and Marie's penis-form extends until we are definitely back in tonfa territory, meanwhile Stein is beating the everloving shit out of Justin, while these creepy black tendrils from Marie keep wrapping around his wrist and crawling up his arm.
He's so fast! Justin thinks.
Yeah, pretty much. Stein is beating the shit out of Justin and not even breaking a sweat doing it.
He's TOO fast, Justin thinks, as Stein slams him so hard into the ground that he forms a crater. He's so fast that I can't even tell what he's doing to me!
Stein's wearing his creepy grin now. Thank you, creepy grin. It's been a while since we've seen you last!
"Hmm," Justin says. "Would this be a good time to show you my demon tool?"
Show you my demon tool, or pull out my demon tool, or however I'm gonna translate that line, it still sounds awfully dirty, doesn't it?
"A demon tool?" Marie asks. "Is it that coffin...?"
"Oh, no. This is just a speaker." Then Justin pulls out a piece of paper.
"Paper?" Marie asks.
Have we suddenly warped into a Read or Die crossover?
Is Justin about to steal Father Anderson's schtick from Hellsing?!
"Ah well," Justin says. "Here's where we part ways. For now."
And then HOLY SHIT
HE LIKE GETS SUCKED INTO THE PIECE OF PAPER (deliberately?!)
And then the piece of paper - which we can see now looks an awful lot like it's been ripped from the Book of Eibon - slowly flutters through the air, then suddenly bursts into flame, leaving behind nothing but a smear of ash.
Stein, still holding Marie, stares at the giant coffin-shaped speaker that Justin rather thoughtlessly left behind, glowering.
SCENE CHANGE
DEATH ROOM
Shinigami-sama is standing there.
So is Sid. Sid is wearing a shirt that says "ZOMBIE" on it. Anvilicious.
Sid is standing beside one of those oh-so-Japanese vertical paper signboards, upon which is written "NEW PROJECT"
Sid flips the paper over to the next page, and...
"SHIBUSEN ELITE YOUTH CORPS" is written there.
We can't see who else is in the room with Sid and Shinigami-sama, but does anybody want to take three guesses?
"Or, if you wanna abbreviate," Shinigami-sama says, "Shibugakitai.
Shibugakitai would be like, I dunno, "Shibu-brat-Corp," or something. I dunno, it's not very elegant in translation.
(Edited to add: CNet translated this as "Shibu-Kids Squad," and I like that a lot.)
By the way, is anybody else weirded out by the fact that we have yet to be shown any inkling of a reaction from Shinigami-sama regarding the whole Kid/Noah fiasco? I mean, does Shinigami-sama just not even care about the fact that his son's been abducted by a creepypants monster and more-likely-than-not pedophile?
Nah, I shouldn't be too hard on the guy. I'm sure he understands that for the time being, "son in limbo" is not nearly as pressing a matter as "HOLY SHIT JUSTIN IS TRYING TO KILL MY OTHER STUDENTS", so whatever. Also, the fact that Justin maaaaaaay be in cahoots with Noah (or at least that's the conclusion that I'm drawing from the whole sucked-into-a-mystical-page-portal thing, although that may be premature on my part) nicely ties both sides of the clusterfuck together. By dealing with one problem, Shinigami-sama may be able to deal with that *other* problem at the same time as well.
Or maybe Shinigami-sama just assumes that something like this will happen eventually, in which case Noah will inevitably throw up his hands and just let Kid go.
Kid: Kinda like Excalibur, in a way. He's not somebody that you'd actually want to have glued to your hip on a permanent basis.
And, on the other hand, maybe Shinigami-sama isn't too concerned because he anticipates that Noah will be easy to defeat. Seriously. All Shinigami-sama has to do is place mint condition 1909 Horus Wagner baseball card, a copy of Detective Comics #27, and an 1857 Tre Skilling Banco stamp inside of a giant mousetrap... and wait.
GIANT MOUSETRAP: If it worked in a Don Bluth animated film, then by golly, it's good enough for Shinigami-sama.
Or maybe, if Shinigami-sama is tight on budget, he'll forgo the giant mousetrap and stick with the classic box-stick-string setup instead.
I really do think that this would work in terms of luring Noah into Death City, though. I mean, come on. I can't be the only one who imagines Noah as the type of guy who shuns Playboy but instead jerks off to The Beckett Price Guide to Baseball Cards. Or the Brookman Stamp Price Guide. Or the Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide.
"Oh, 1909 mint condition Honus Wagner! Oh, the dirty dirty things I could do to you, with your naughty white border, your sexy 3.65 centimeter by 6.67 centimeter shape, your tempting little waterstains, you vixen of a card, you. Rrrrwar."
Speaking of which, what would one of Kid's typical sex fantasies actually consist of? Assuming that he even has erotic dreams in the first place, I suspect that most of them would include:
1. Candles,
2. Bondage,
3. An octopus, and
4. Former Western movie heartthrob and two-term conservative U.S. President Ronald Reagan.
Not the old-dude version of Ronald Reagan. The young, hot Ronald Reagan who starred in Stallion Road, Santa Fe Trail, and Cowboy from Brooklyn.
Come on, you guys. I can't be the only person here who ships Rebuplican Cowboy Jesus with OCD Goth Cowboy Jesus.
OMGtheirloveisso... messianic.
(I was going to say "OMGtheirloveissoHEAD-STUCK-UP-THEIR-ASSES but that would be a disrespectful thing to say about a former U.S. President. And far be it for me to be disrespectful to any of our Glorious Leaders past or present.)
But seriously, I can totally see Kid fapping to this:
"Oh, Ronnie! You can Iran my Contra any day! No seriously, I really mean it, Shibusen could totally use some sweet surface-to-air missiles. I'll pay you with my body."
And HEY-YO:
Yes, that is shirtless Ronnie with symmetrical baby goats.
By the way, IMDB.com has a whole section of pictures of Ronald Reagan shirtless. I swear there's like a hundred of them. Way to go, IMDB photo uploaders! Way to go.
Battle damage. Hawt.
OMG you guys I am shipping this so hard right now. Kid and Reagan could totally team up and it would be totally awesome because it would be all like HE's history's sexiest yet dumbest badass U.S. President and HE's the world's sexiest yet dumbest badass shinigami and Together... they fight
goddammit asymmetrical arrrrrrrrrgh
Boner-killer. Sigh.
Oh yeah, what, chapter recap? Uhm, the chapter recap ended about five hundred words ago. Now I'm just dicking around and displaying my id all over my livejournal for the whole world to see.
(So, I see that there's a new kink meme in town. At this point, if I went over there and requested Kid/Ronald Reagan/octopus with bondage + candles, everybody would know that it was me, right? Right.)
Oh well. Until next month, Ohkubo. And geez, have you gotten all of those ellipses out of your system yet, or what?!
Edited after the fact, to clarify a couple things:
1. My apologies if this didn't come across clearly in my recap, but none of the Shibusen kids were happy in this chapter. None of them even smiled, except for one obviously-fake smile that Tsubaki gave to Angela, for Angela's sake. The only emotions that most of the main characters expressed were either sadness, anger, or nervousness. Shinigami-sama was the only one cracking jokes.
2. I don't understand where the "Liz and Patti aren't reacting to Kid's situation" meme is coming from. They already got their histrionics over and done with, a couple chapters ago. Now they're being constructive and doing something about it. And yep, Patti is pretty pissed off when it turns out that Maka can't help them. So it's not like they've forgotten about Kid or anything. Sheesh.
3. As for Shinigami-sama not having any sort of reaction... No, I don't think any of us were expecting him to break down sobbing, or throw a shitfit or anything, because that's obviously not his style. I don't think any of us were expecting him to stop cracking jokes or acting goofy, either. What I DO think is a glaring omission in this chapter, however, is any sort of acknowledgement of Kid's peril on behalf of his father. Even something along the lines of, "Kid's been kidnapped? Oh, snickerdoodles! Welp, that sucks. But sorry guys, right now there's nothing we can do about that" would have sufficed. To not have Shinigami-sama even *mention* what happened to Kid just feels really, really off here. At least it does to me. My opinion, let me show you it.
4. I understand it's frustrating that there are no scans or scanslations yet. And I am totally cool with y'all expressing that frustration here. What I am really NOT cool with, however, is anybody saying that they're "pissed off" that scans aren't up yet, or accusing anybody else of "withholding" scans. I mean, wow. Entitlement issues, much? You guys are getting pirated manga, translated by volunteers and delivered to you for FREE on the internet, and it is NOT going to kill you to wait a few fucking days for it. Try not to get "pissed off" at the people are inevitably going to scan and translate this shit for you, okay? And definitely please don't accuse anyone of "withholding." I mean, Jesus F. Cowboy Christ, people!
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