Ode to getting smacked upside the head.

[nenena]

Furthering this.

You know, I'm really blessed to have friends who are true friends, not sycophants. I'm lucky that I can trust y'all to stop me when I say and do stupid shit. One of the things that I've learned from RaceFail09 so far[1] is that if it weren't for others calling us on our shit, a lot of us would be a lot stupider for it. Especially us clueless white folks.

[1] I have learned many things from RaceFail09, actually. But I can't bring myself to be pleased by this fact, because my learnings have come at the cost of many good people being deeply, truly hurt. If there is a silver lining to be spotted in the shitstorm, I'd much rather point out things like verb_noire and The Remyth Project, bossymarmalade's epic fierceness, or isilya saying that the stones are tumbling off her chest. I'd much rather point to those things as silver linings, than point to the fact that some clueless white people, myself included, are being edumacated. I don't think that this edumacation is something to celebrate, as it's coming at the cost of other people's pain. But I digress.

Anyway, reading through the latest iteration of the RaceFail this morning has really brought home the point, to me, that we ought to be grateful to our critics - our REAL critics - the ones who step up and tell us when our flies are hanging open, in order to save us from, you know, walking around with our flies hanging open. That's not trolling. If anything, that's a kindness.

So, because they need to be said, here are my thank-yous.

Thank you to steelehearts and goldenflames, whose critical feedback have not only made my major writing project possible, but have also vastly improved it.

To sirius_luva, whose honest reviews keep my writing honest.

To kalinara, for convincing me to put back on my pants, that one time that I was mooning the comics blogosphere.

To aesmael, for calling me out on transphobic asshattery in the comments on one of Ami's posts. It was a short exchange and I don't know if you even remember it, but it helped me re-formulate a lot of mistaken ideas vis-a-vis radfems and transphobia.

To jeffkun, whom I don't always see eye-to-eye with, and whom I've exchanged heated words with, for continuing to be an lj-friend, and a valuable voice of dissent at my shoulder, despite that.

To my sibling unit, for providing much needed smacks upside the head IRL.

To the trolls, the real trolls, the ones who have occasionally shown up in the comments here, the ones who have spouted sexist and racist discourse all over my journal (and whether those things are coming from maliciousness or just plain ignorant cluelessness, it doesn't matter and I don't care): Thank you. Thank you for teaching me the important differences between real disagreement versus actual trolling. Thank you for pulling down your pants and parading around with your junk hanging out as if it's something to be proud of. You've taught me how to recognize real criticism, the type that it's valuable for me to shut up and listen to. You don't bring that to the table, of course - you bring exactly the opposite, really - but at least you provide a valuable educational contrast.

Thank you, to all of you reading this, especially those of you on my flist. My pants would be permanently down around my ankles if not for you guys.

Comments

[goldenflames.livejournal.com]

"My pants would be permanently down around my ankles if not for you guys."



Best.thank-you.ever.



I can't speak for other things, but when it comes to the Mahabharat at least, I usually tend to be fairly forgiving. After all, everyone's entitled to their opinion and their interpretation of things. Occasionally, however, some things get me a bit twitchy, and in the past, I've had to worry about whether the other person will take my criticism constructively, or whether they'll fly off the handle and claim that I'm being one of those orthodox types who refuses to see other POVs. The fact that you're intelligent and mature enough to take constructive criticism means a heck of a lot because it means that I can actually give you my honest reactions and not have to worry about censoring myself because I think I'll hurt your feelings.

[nenena.livejournal.com]

I really, truly, I owe you all the thanks in the world for that honesty, and for your friendship, and for your awesomeness.

[goldenflames.livejournal.com]

=D

[lost-angelwings.livejournal.com]

I dun remember that post :| *hugs* I think you are awesome.. and have cool pants that look esp cool when they're up around your waist :)

[nenena.livejournal.com]

Yay, I have cool pants. ^__^

(I actually can't find the post now, but I remember it in detail. I could describe what happened, but I'd rather not in the comments here, as the post in question involved some of your personal information.)

[broccoman.livejournal.com]

Thank you. That truly means a lot to me. Sometimes you open my eyes to things I wouldn't otherwise see.

Interested in the Kal story. Kal stories usually end up fun.

[nenena.livejournal.com]

There's no "story," just a massive trainwreck of stupidity. (http://nenena.livejournal.com/157508.html)

You were there, too. ;) I can completely sympathize if you blocked that post from your memory, though. I certainly try to.

[broccoman.livejournal.com]

Ah, I guess it didn't fit my definition of pants around ankles.

I've done things myself 10 times worse, and seen things 100 times worse.

I just thought it would some sort of funny Kal story. Kal's great- she's the best person for making me see the other side, and explain it in a non-confrontational fashion.