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This week's Tsubasa: Chapter 208
Merry Christmas Eve, to those of you who celebrate it!
As a special Christmas gift from me, here: Have some crap.
Congratulations, CLAMP. You've actually made me identify with Eric Cartman for once in my entire life. Because, reading this latest chapter of Tsubasa, I realized that I just don't CARE about any of your crappy "shocking" character deaths any more. Especially when said character "deaths" are so obviously faked.
So, anyway, recap tiem. Syaoran is fighting Cloney. And Cloney is completely and utterly kicking Syaoran's ass. There's just no contest: the two of them aren't even close to being evenly matched. It's like watching Pikachu trying to fight Godzilla. Or Kid trying to fight Mosquito, if I may make a Soul Eater reference. So basically, no contest.
Cloney makes short work of Syaoran. He easily knocks Syaoran's sword out of his hand, sending it spinning through the air to land God knows where. Next, Cloney kicks Syaoran in the chest, knocking him down. Then he steps on Syaoran, pinning him to the ground.
Cloney raises his sword above Syaoran's heart, preparing to finish the job.
Fay sees this and is all like "ZOMG SYAORAN!!!!" But then FWR waves his hand, sending a gajillion more faceless soldiers to attack Fay and Kurogane, thus preventing them from dramatically rushing to Syaoran's aide.
Cloney lowers his sword and lets the tip dangle above Syaoran's eye. He stares down at Syaoran, dispassionately, and says, "I will do what I must do."
Then he plunges the sword into Syaoran's chest.
Now, here's what the artwork actually shows in that moment: Syaoran's eyes go wide and blank. Fay and Kurogane make "ZOMG YOU KILLED KENNY!!!!" faces. But the actual stabbing is shown in silhouette; we see the shadowy outline of Cloney, plunging the shadowy outline of his sword into what may or may not be the shadowy outline of Syaoran's chest, and the shadowy outline of a massive blood splatter all over the page.
It should be obvious to any reader that Syaoran isn't actually dead. CLAMP's pathetic tactic of using "artsy silhouette action" in a dramatic moment only serves as a transparent trick to allow them to stab Syaoran without actually killing him. I mean, come on. Let's compare for a moment: Every time that Sakura was stabbed through the chest - three times and counting, now - the artwork showed the moment of stabbity doom quite clearly. But with Syaoran, we're getting a pageful of deliberately obscured, shadowy stabbing action. Hmmmm. Clearly there is pathetic-attempt-at-cliffhanger-making tomfoolery afoot.
Cloney raises his sword, flicking a lot - a lot - of blood off of it. We're shown a panel of Cloney standing silently on top of what's left of Syaoran, although Syaoran's body is completely obscured by Cloney's swirling costume. Sigh.
Kurogane and Fay, however, are somewhat less intelligent than the average Shounen Magazine reader (target demographic: boys ages six to twelve), and have completely fallen for Cloney's feint. Kuorgane rushes toward them, dramatically screaming "Outta my way!!!" as he bloodily slices a path through an entire army of FWR's goons. Fay follows him.
We are treated to a delightful moment in which Kurogane and Fay, both in full-out beserker mode, completely decimate FWR's army, again. (Fay's gritty-teethed, crazy-eyed face is priceless.) They cut their way past the goons, and start running toward Cloney. Cloney turns his head slightly, regards them both coolly for a moment, then unleashes a nuclear-level blast of magical pwnage.
The resulting sparkly explosion devastates everything. Kurogane and Fay go down like tiny little gnats swatted by a giant magical hand. The ruins themselves are blown to pieces. When the dust settles, there's almost nothing left. The Dynamic Duo aren't dead, but they're definitely down for the count, lying bloody and battered amongst the now-unrecognizable rubble.
Cloney, still posing dramatically with one foot on Syaoran's "corpse," is the only one left standing.
"Nice," FWR comments, watching over Cloney. "You didn't just get rid of those two, you got rid of all of my fail-soldiers as well." And indeed, we can see the corpses of said fail-soldiers strewn throughout the rubble. "Excellent. That magical eye is turning out to be more useful than I'd anticipated. No, not quite... Perhaps this is now something more than simple 'magic'."
Cloney kneels down, and grabs the scruff of Syaoran's collar. He leans in close, and whispers something into Syaoran's ear. There's no word bubble, however, so whatever he said will have to remain a mystery for the time being.
Then Cloney stands up, grabs the hood of Syaoran's cloak, and begins dragging Syaoran's body toward the rift where FWR is waiting. We are given one final opportunity to see what sort of injuries Syaoran has actually sustained... But nooooo. In the final panel, Syaoran's body is completely obscured by the folds of his cloak. Only his limp arm, and the scruffy hair on top of his head, are shown peeking out of his cloak.
And the chapter ends.
Next up: A two-week break! Oh, CLAMP. You and your lame-ass cliffhangers.
For now, however, I guess Syaoran can join Kid in the exclusive "not dead, but definitely pining for the fjords" Shounen Manga Heroic Failure Club of Complete and Utter Failboat McFailPants Devastatingly Death-Inducing Fail. That's what you get for being a dumbass shounen action hero who runs around picking fights with opponents that are ridiculously more powerful than you.
As a special Christmas gift from me, here: Have some crap.
Congratulations, CLAMP. You've actually made me identify with Eric Cartman for once in my entire life. Because, reading this latest chapter of Tsubasa, I realized that I just don't CARE about any of your crappy "shocking" character deaths any more. Especially when said character "deaths" are so obviously faked.
So, anyway, recap tiem. Syaoran is fighting Cloney. And Cloney is completely and utterly kicking Syaoran's ass. There's just no contest: the two of them aren't even close to being evenly matched. It's like watching Pikachu trying to fight Godzilla. Or Kid trying to fight Mosquito, if I may make a Soul Eater reference. So basically, no contest.
Cloney makes short work of Syaoran. He easily knocks Syaoran's sword out of his hand, sending it spinning through the air to land God knows where. Next, Cloney kicks Syaoran in the chest, knocking him down. Then he steps on Syaoran, pinning him to the ground.
Cloney raises his sword above Syaoran's heart, preparing to finish the job.
Fay sees this and is all like "ZOMG SYAORAN!!!!" But then FWR waves his hand, sending a gajillion more faceless soldiers to attack Fay and Kurogane, thus preventing them from dramatically rushing to Syaoran's aide.
Cloney lowers his sword and lets the tip dangle above Syaoran's eye. He stares down at Syaoran, dispassionately, and says, "I will do what I must do."
Then he plunges the sword into Syaoran's chest.
Now, here's what the artwork actually shows in that moment: Syaoran's eyes go wide and blank. Fay and Kurogane make "ZOMG YOU KILLED KENNY!!!!" faces. But the actual stabbing is shown in silhouette; we see the shadowy outline of Cloney, plunging the shadowy outline of his sword into what may or may not be the shadowy outline of Syaoran's chest, and the shadowy outline of a massive blood splatter all over the page.
It should be obvious to any reader that Syaoran isn't actually dead. CLAMP's pathetic tactic of using "artsy silhouette action" in a dramatic moment only serves as a transparent trick to allow them to stab Syaoran without actually killing him. I mean, come on. Let's compare for a moment: Every time that Sakura was stabbed through the chest - three times and counting, now - the artwork showed the moment of stabbity doom quite clearly. But with Syaoran, we're getting a pageful of deliberately obscured, shadowy stabbing action. Hmmmm. Clearly there is pathetic-attempt-at-cliffhanger-making tomfoolery afoot.
Cloney raises his sword, flicking a lot - a lot - of blood off of it. We're shown a panel of Cloney standing silently on top of what's left of Syaoran, although Syaoran's body is completely obscured by Cloney's swirling costume. Sigh.
Kurogane and Fay, however, are somewhat less intelligent than the average Shounen Magazine reader (target demographic: boys ages six to twelve), and have completely fallen for Cloney's feint. Kuorgane rushes toward them, dramatically screaming "Outta my way!!!" as he bloodily slices a path through an entire army of FWR's goons. Fay follows him.
We are treated to a delightful moment in which Kurogane and Fay, both in full-out beserker mode, completely decimate FWR's army, again. (Fay's gritty-teethed, crazy-eyed face is priceless.) They cut their way past the goons, and start running toward Cloney. Cloney turns his head slightly, regards them both coolly for a moment, then unleashes a nuclear-level blast of magical pwnage.
The resulting sparkly explosion devastates everything. Kurogane and Fay go down like tiny little gnats swatted by a giant magical hand. The ruins themselves are blown to pieces. When the dust settles, there's almost nothing left. The Dynamic Duo aren't dead, but they're definitely down for the count, lying bloody and battered amongst the now-unrecognizable rubble.
Cloney, still posing dramatically with one foot on Syaoran's "corpse," is the only one left standing.
"Nice," FWR comments, watching over Cloney. "You didn't just get rid of those two, you got rid of all of my fail-soldiers as well." And indeed, we can see the corpses of said fail-soldiers strewn throughout the rubble. "Excellent. That magical eye is turning out to be more useful than I'd anticipated. No, not quite... Perhaps this is now something more than simple 'magic'."
Cloney kneels down, and grabs the scruff of Syaoran's collar. He leans in close, and whispers something into Syaoran's ear. There's no word bubble, however, so whatever he said will have to remain a mystery for the time being.
Then Cloney stands up, grabs the hood of Syaoran's cloak, and begins dragging Syaoran's body toward the rift where FWR is waiting. We are given one final opportunity to see what sort of injuries Syaoran has actually sustained... But nooooo. In the final panel, Syaoran's body is completely obscured by the folds of his cloak. Only his limp arm, and the scruffy hair on top of his head, are shown peeking out of his cloak.
And the chapter ends.
Next up: A two-week break! Oh, CLAMP. You and your lame-ass cliffhangers.
For now, however, I guess Syaoran can join Kid in the exclusive "not dead, but definitely pining for the fjords" Shounen Manga Heroic Failure Club of Complete and Utter Failboat McFailPants Devastatingly Death-Inducing Fail. That's what you get for being a dumbass shounen action hero who runs around picking fights with opponents that are ridiculously more powerful than you.
no subject
Ah, and my biggest problem is that I keep thinking of current shows. (Also, I totally forgot about Numb3rs, which mostly rules.) I didn't pay much attention to TV in my teens. (I turned 17 in 2000, to give you a time frame there.) I bet if I went back and watched some of those 90s shows, I'd like some. Not Friends, because the actors almost universally annoy me (it happens, I guess). But X-Files would probably hold me. We actually watched a couple episodes for AP English Lit, to illustrate postmodernism. Evidently they draw inspiration from literature more often than I thought. I've seen part of a season of The Office (US version) and liked it in DVD form. Actually, I prefer most things in DVD form. Hmm. Anyway... Oh, a current sitcom that has BRILLIANT comedic writing: Two and a Half Men.
Berta is love.Hmm, digging in memories... I know I used to watch sitcoms with my mum, but all I remember are the TGIF staples (Boy Meets World, Step By Step), and those I "grew out of"-- or "grew disdain for"-- within a year or two... I never got into the Aaron Spelling shows, or Party of Five, or Friends... I was always a bit of an odd duck in my age group. I was usually reading something while everyone was fangirling over TV and movies. (To this day, I see a movie in a theater once every couple of years, and maaaybe see a new American movie on DVD a couple times a year. It makes people who try to make smalltalk with me depressed. Or annoyed, when I answer, "I read the book, though!")
I was much more adamant about watching animated shows. Afternoon (and Saturday morning) in the early nineties was awesome. Tiny Toons, Animaniacs (which I think of now as a sunnier version of SZS), Histeria!, Freakazoid, Peter Pan and the Pirates, ReBoot... And Nick in the late 80s was awesome, with their lineup of what I now know to actually be anime, most of which I have trouble remembering titles, but had awesome writing: The Little Bits, David the Gnome, Maya the Bee, umm... Koala Walla? ...and another with koalas and a little girl named Sandie. Unless I have the two shows reversed in my head. Anyway, I watched Saturday morning cartoons almost religiously into my late teens, and my mum would watch with me. These days the only really amusing thing I've found in that time slot is The Emperor's New School, which my mum and I will sometimes watch quietly together.
Hmm... Will and Grace was a good one, I think... and I think I used to watch Caroline in the City, though all I remember about it now is that it was about a redheaded cartoonist. OH, I used to watch Mad About You. Mum liked Wings, I think.
I'm thinking I must have a conversation with my mum, reminiscing about good TV.
Thank you for being so thought-provoking, by the way. That's why my reply was so long-- you poked me and turned my brain on, and then it wouldn't shut up. It was pleasant. We'll have to do this again sometime. XD
Perhaps I'll watch Geass, just so I can say I tried. xD