Soul Eater Chapter 100: If It Weren't For Those Meddling Kids

[nenena]

35 pages, 166 dialogue bubbles, and 143 exclamation points. Yes, I counted.

In short, there is A LOT OF YELLING and virtually no plot progression in this chapter. But anyway, here we go.

And we open with a mysterious light in the sky!

"What's that? Maybe it's a shooting star..."

It's not a shooting star.

Also, Kid won the Character Popularity Poll for the second time. Much to exactly nobody's surprise.

Meanwhile, on the moon! Stein is standing in front of an army of Clowns and breathing heavily.

"Are you all right, Stein...?" Spirit asks.

Three pages later: Well, at least he's still kicking ass. But Stein can't hide the fact that he's visibly tiring anymore.

"What's the matter?" Kaguya gloats. "Looks like you barely managed to avoid that one. With those slow moves, you're never going to be able to see my breasts!"

Yup.

Suddenly, Deng's meister! Who still doesn't have a name. Goddammit, Ohkubo.

And Zubaydah and Djinn! "Are you all right, Zubaydah?" Djinn asks.

"Yes..."

I've started breathing heavily... Stein think-bubbles. Alexandre and Zubaydah are too... We're approaching our limits...

Well, flip me over and call me a pancake, Alexandre finally has a name! Note: Alexandre's name is written out with French pronunciation ("ah-le-shan-do-re"). I don't know what that says about his ethnicity other than that he must be from one of the Francophone areas of Africa. If anybody has any clue as to what Alexandre's specific ethnicity is supposed to be, it would be greatly appreciated if you could help me out with this. I mean, his partner Deng is supposed to specifically be of the Dinka clan - you can tell because Ohkubo actually named him "Deng Dinka" which is incredibly stupid but hey given Ohkubo's record with race whataryagonnado - so I'm kind of assuming that Alexandre is supposed to be a specific ethnicity too. But maybe Ohkubo just threw a bunch of African stereotypes in a blender to come up with Alexandre, I dunno. It would be nice if Ohkubo had had a specific culture in mind when he designed Alexandre, though.

Anywhoo, back to Stein. "Zubaydah! Alexandre! Don't give up!! Kid will bring the witches to us any moment now!"

"Whether they make it in time or not doesn't matter to me," Alexandre says. "I was prepared to give up my life the moment that I agreed to stay behind on the moon."

"Whether they come or they don't come..." Zubaydah says, "Soon we won't have to worry about that anymore."

"YOU MORONS!!" Spirit shouts. Fully clothed in his scythe form. So Ohkubo, are you ever going to give Tsugumi, Tsubaki, Liz, Patti, Marie, or Azusa wearing clothes while in their weapon forms? I mean it's not like you haven't already shown all of the male weapons (Soul, Clay, and Spirit) fully clothed already. And yet all of your female weapons are still naked. Do I really need to point out what's wrong with this.

Anyway, back to Spirit. "Don't glorify hastening your own deaths as if you were stupid teenagers!! Being prepared to give up your own lives doesn't give you as much strength as you think it does!! Don't throw away your hope!! You have to want to live until the very moment that you die!!"

"Okay!!!" Zubaydah and Alexandre agree.

Stein, Zubaydah, and Alexandre arrange themselves back-to-back. "Protect each other's backs!"

Meanwile, not on the moon! Maka and Soul are having a helluva hard time flying.

Oh. Because of Black Star. That's why.

"Hurry up, hurry up!" Black Star says.

Maka just screams at him in response.

"You can do it, Maka!!" Black Star says. "Breathe in and out like 'huh-huh-huuuuuuh'!! 'Huh-huh-huuuuuh'" (Note: Black Star is telling Maka to breathe like ヒッヒッフー which is the same way that Japanese women are told to breathe when they're giving birth.)

"SHUT UP, IDIOT!! YOU'RE DRAGGING ME DOWN!!"

"Not my fault. As long as there's ocean beneath us there's nowhere for me to plant Tsubaki."

"I KNEW we were going to end up like this!!" Maka says.

You know, it seems to me like it would make a lot more sense for Black Star to just be riding on top of Soul rather than dangling from him. It wouldn't solve the weight problem but it would be a helluva lot more aerodynamic. And Black Star of all people seems like the least likely character to pass up an opportunity to rub his crotch against Soul. But hey what do I know about the nitty-gritty mechanics of magical flying scythes or anything.

"'Huh-huh-huuuuuh' 'Huh-huh-huuuuuh'" Black Star instructs Maka again.

"SHUT UP!!"

Suddenly, wavelength! "Such a thick concentration of insanity... The moon is right in front of us! It's right through these clouds!!"

Yup, it certainly is.

"Seeing it up close like this, it looks incredible..."

"Sorry that MY BIGNESS is still overshadowing it," Black Star says.

Suddenly, Moonbeam! "It appears as though some new intruders have arrived. I shall intercept them."

"Sheesh!" Kaguya whines. "It's tough being so beautiful and so popular!"

"Let's hurry up and get down there," Black Star says.

"No, we should do a flyover first and check out the situation on the surface," Maka says.

Unfortunately, Moonbeam has other ideas.

"Hey! Something's coming!" Black Star says.

They barely manage to dodge.

"Come on Soul, dodge!!" Maka shouts.

"I'm trying! My ass is weighed down and it's all this giant charm's fault!!" Note: Soul calls Black Star a ソトラップ which is the word for those dangly charms that you stick on your cell phone or bag.

"Hey--! Look out!" Black Star shouts again.

".... A sycthe charm..." Maka says.

"Heeey Maka!! More's coming right at us!!"

"Then until we reach the surface of the moon we're just gonna have to give them some mutually assured destruction !!"

"Huuuuuuh?" Black Star says.

Oh, so that's what she means by that.

"GIVE 'EM HELL!!" Maka shouts.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAA?"

Black Star sees a moonbeam headed right for his face.

"UHYAAAAAA!!"

"Black Star!" Tsubaki says.

"DON'T!! UNDERESTIMATE!! ME!!"

And then he's punching moonbeams into oblivion.

"He repelled my beam with his bare fist!!" Moonbeam exclaims. "Ay yay yay!! That should be impossible!!"

Oh man, you want impossible? Check out what Black Star does on the next page.

Black Star grabs a beam with his left hand. "And now one more!!" He grabs a beam in his right hand.

"He's holding on to my beams...!!"

"ORAAAAAAAA!!" Black Star throws the beams back down toward the moon. "HOW 'BOUT I THROW 'EM BACK AT YA---!!?"

In answer to that question, no, Moonbeam doesn't like that.

Maka watches all of this with the usual Black-Star-antics-induced expression on her face. "Is he really human like the rest of us...?" Maka ponders. "I don't understand how it's even possible for him to be grabbing those beams."

"The reason why it's possible is super-simple!!" Black Star shouts as he falls. "Tsubaki!!"

"Yes!!"

Black Star draws his sword. "It's because I'm TRANSCENDENTLY SUPER AWESOME!!"

Stein is like, what the hell just happened.

Then, lightbulb! "This wavelength!! It's Black Star!!"

Black Star manages to land right in the middle of the Clown army. "Anybody wanna try and stop me? You're gonna get killed."

Meanwhile, in the sky! "Wow, there's so many of them..." Maka says. "I don't want to land down there..."

But suddenly, moonbeams!

"I'll intercept the other one!" Moonbeam says.

This time, however, Maka easily dodges. Or rather, Soul does.

"Maka!" Soul says. "Find the wavelength that's controlling those crescent-shaped things for me!"

"Roger!"

A moment later: "I thought so," Soul says. "They do have a clear rhythm. I've got you now."

SOUL HACK!

Oh look Soul's death scythe powers are still appropriately spider-themed.

"The beat of these attacks... is under my control now."

"They've commandeered my moonbeams!!" Moonbeam exclaims.

And Soul immediately sends a barrage of moonbeams down upon the Clown army.

Meanwhile, Stein is surrounded. "Your new friends may have arrived, but it's already too late for you!!" the Clowns gloat. "Die!!"

"WITCH HUNTER!"

Maka slices right through the Clowns attacking Stein.

"I heard about what happened," Maka says. "For the sake of Shibusen, for the sake of the world, you stayed behind on the moon to fight... Thank you!!"

"Maka!!" Spirit says.

"I never thought the day would come when I would have to be saved by my own students..." Stein says. Uh, except for how that already happened during the BREW arc? You know, back when Ohkubo could write a three-way epic multi-character battle that was well-paced and only lasted for four chapters instead of lasting for ELEVEN CHAPTERS AND COUNTING?! Oh and let's not forget how the kids had to save Stein and Sid at the end of the Salvage arc, while we're at it.

"I'll fight too," Maka says.

Great. Wonderful. Awesome. More pointless stalling for the next couple months why Maka and Black Star waste time fighting Clowns instead of going after Crona like they're supposed to. Because I'm sure that if there's one thing we totally want to see more of in this manga, it's more repetitive battles against annoying Clown characters! I don't even care if we get to see any cool new attacks from Maka or Black Star or whatever, I am SO FREAKING SICK of these Clown battles and the plot should have moved past this stupid battle months ago.

"Even if you steal one or two of my moonbeams," Moonbeam says, "it is of no concern to me. I have infinitely more of them at my disposal. Enough to make all of you continue to taste fear for an eternity. To make you taste insanity." Goddamn this is some awkward-ass dialogue.

Meanwhile, in the Death Room! "To be unable to leave Shibusen... So frustrating..." Big Daddy says.

"And for our enemy the witches to be holdin' the key to our victory on the moon must make it even more frustratin' for ya~~" Tezca says. "It'll be nice if they really do come an' bail us out, but..."

"Tezca-kun! You're still saying that?" My thoughts exactly, Big Daddy. Is Ohkubo really going to waste more time having characters rehash arguments that have already been well and thoroughly covered in previous chapters? "If we at Shibusen don't believe in the witches, then even if they were gonna help us they won't anymore. We aren't the ones who will decide this matter. All that we can do is believe in them." So apparently yes. The answer is yes. We ARE going to waste more time rehashing dialogue and conversations from previous chapters.

Suddenly, shooting star!

Shooting star crashing right into the Death Room!!

"Wha... What the!!"

"An enemy raid?!"

"WITCH!! YOU FOUL BITCH!!" Shinigami-sama shouts. First, no, that doesn't rhyme in Japanese (so it sounds a LOT more threatening than it does silly) and secondly, wow, Big Daddy is the LAST character I would have ever expected to use such misogynistic language - or to swear at all, really - yet here we are. "I KNEW YOU WOULD TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO ATTACK US!!!"

"Bonjour."

It's not a witch. It's Excalibur.

"I sensed that you were spreading rumors about me. Ikachoo! For I cannot cease my sneezing. Ikachoo!"

Meanwhile, Tezca is still taken aback by Big Daddy's outburst. "Sh... Shinigami-sama, you really said something incredible just now, didn't you?"

"Golly, whatever are you talking about, Tezca-kun?" Then Big Daddy wisely changes the subject. "More importantly, why did you come here?" he asks Excalibur.

"The world is in turmoil. Therefore you shall allow me to be a spectator here alongside you."

"If the great Excalibur would help us in battle, though, it sure would make things a lot eaier for us," Big Daddy says.

"So you say, but is not the same true for you as well, former God of Order?"

Big Daddy orally molests some ellipses and says nothing. Such a foolish thing to say... If I use THAT then everything that we've worked so hard for will amount to nothing!

Meanwhile, on the airship! "We're going to attack the moon like this?! But the witches haven't arrived yet!!" Azusa shouts.

"The witches are testing us," Kid says. "They're waiting to confirm whether we truly have faith in them or not. Therefore we must attack the moon and demonstrate our good faith to them."

"You sound like a fool, Kid!!" Azusa says. "Then what was the purpose of you traveling to the Witch World in the first place?" She's right, you know. Wasn't the whole point of Kid going to the Witch World because the witches wanted a demonstration of good faith on Shibusen's part? And then they captured Kid and tried to sentence him to death because hey, apparently "good faith" only has to go one way? Wow I feel so sorry for these witches gosh it's no wonder NOBODY LIKES THEM.

"You of all people should understand that just one or two bowed heads isn't enough to repair our relationship with the witches," Azusa goes on. "The witches' greatest enemy has always been Shibusen. Of course they must think that we're just using them!! Can an enemy like that ever really cooperate with us?! They might just use this opportunity to attack Shibusen instead!"

"Azusa---..." Marie says. "Stop saying things like that..."

"A grudge is one of those feelings that can never change," Azusa goes on. "It's hard enough for humans to forget a grudge, but for non-humans like witches it's even more difficult---..."

Uh, citation needed?

"I'm not saying that it's bad to have ideals," Azusa continues. "But Kid, you're still just a child, so you don't understand."

"This might make me sound immature to you," Kid says, "But just having ideals alone is pointless. One has to take action to fulfill one's ideals. Having wordly experience and crushing ideals with your hopeless outlook is an adult's way of thinking--- So I guess you can keep calling me a 'kid' forever!!"

"But I'm worried about this ship's crew..." Azusa says.

"I know. Because Asuza-san is a good person. But don't worry!! This ship WON'T be shot down!! I believe in this ship's pilot!! I believe in the operators and the crew and everyone else too!! And I believe that there's NO WAY their ammunition can hit this ship that Gen-san and the maintenance crew built!!"

"No kidding--!!" Gen agrees. "Are ya sayin' that we're so full of holes from our last flight that now they've got nowhere left to hit?!"

For some reason the rest of the engineers find this really funny.

"Among the thirty-six elite soldiers who returned with this ship," Kid says, "if a single one among you objects to attacking the moon, we will call off the attack. So I'll ask you one more time. WILL YOU FOLLOW ME?!"

"We already got on this boat with you, as if we would chicken out now!!"

"Aye-aye!!"

"Aye-aye!!"

"Seriously?! You're asking us too?" Kirikou says.

"What a foolish question," Ox says.

"Kim would do anything for Shibusen, too!!" Jackie adds.

"AYE-AYE!!" Liz and Patti say.

"And what about you, Azusa?" Marie asks.

"But..."

"I know that it's difficult to trust the witches without any doubt," Kid says. "But if that's the case, then can't you put your faith in me?" When Kid says "me" it's written as shinigami.

"Honestly," Azusa says with a smile. "You're just as pushy as your father."

"Like this," Marie says, raising Azusa's arm. "AYE-AYE!!"

"ALL RIGHT!! FULL SPEED AHEAD!!!"

To be continued next month!

Now let's see if Youni89 or Tiesto or any of the other "translators" working for the scanslation teams copy huge chunks of this recap and claim that they did the translation all by themselves. (*side-eye*) We saw what you did there, dudes. We all saw it. ETA: And Bleachh, too. Come on, man.

**********UPDATES!**********

100th Anniversary Tribute Artwork!! High-res scans @ Livejournal | Crappy small scans @ Tumblr


HUGE batch of new color images!!
     » GanGan 2012 August cover scan: Tumblr (resized) | Livejournal (high-res)
     » GanGan 2012 August cover, textless digital rip: Tumblr | Livejournal
     » Chapter 100 color intro page: Livejournal (high-res)
     » Chapter 100 color spread scan: Livejournal (high-res)
     » Chapter 100 color spread textless digital rip: Tumblr | Livejournal
     » Not! Chapter 16 color illustration digital rip: Tumblr (resized) | Livejournal (high-res)
     » Volume 22 cover preview: Tumblr | Livejournal
     » Volume 22 cover scan: Tumblr (resized) | Livejournal (high-res)
     » Volume 22 advertisements: Tumblr (resized) | Livejournal (high-res)
     » Not! Volume 2 cover preview: Tumblr | Livejournal
     » Not! Volume 2 cover scan: Tumblr (resized) | Livejournal (high-res)
     » Not! Volume 2 advertisements: Tumblr (resized) | Livejournal (high-res)
     » Phone Icons from GanGan Mail Magazine:Tumblr | Livejournal
     » Phone Icons from GanGan Mobile: Tumblr | Livejournal
     » 100th Anniversary Lottery Prize: Tumblr


Preliminary character popularity poll results! (Top 19 characters)


More detailed character popularity poll results! (Top 26 characters) Tumblr (resized) | Livejournal (high-res)


New Soul Eater screensaver @ GanGan official website!


Whew, I think that's everything!

ETA July 18th: Hey Bleachh and Tiesto, did you know that I deliberately translated page 28 incorrectly in this post? Apparently you didn't, or you wouldn't have copied my translation instead of reading the actual Japanese text!

Sorry for pulling a Soshul Experiment on you guys, but come on. This is getting ridiculous. Stop taking credit for translations that you didn't do.

ETA July 19th: I can't help but wonder why the scanslators in this fandom keep censoring the instances of misogynistic language when it's used in the manga. I mean, in 100 chapters we've only had misogynistic language show up exactly two times, and both times it was meant to be a repugnant and shockingly horrible thing that was said. And in both instances the scanslators in this fandom omitted or changed the misogynistic insults that were there in the Japanese dialogue. But hey y'all can keep complaining about the non-existent "censorship" in the official translations by Yen Press and Funi instead, I guess.