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SE 86: Things we know we know, things we know we don't know, and things we don't know we don't know.
But not any of the things that we don't know we know, because that would just be silly.
Also in this chapter:
So we open this month's chapter at SHIBUSEN, where the SEARCH FOR THE KISHIN IS STILL ONGOING, as a helpful caption informs us. Because Tezca has clearly been of absolutely no help in that regard. Also, KATOLABER BAKUHATUENJYOU is going on somewhere in the world, apparently. Which, if my ability to parse fail!romaji is correct here, means that there was a big explosion and fire. Somewhere.
Meanwhile, back to plot!
"Shibusen has taken complete control of Baghdad," Kid reads. "Suspecting that Baghdad was harboring the Kishin, Shibusen troops stormed the city. Although unable to find the Kishin, they instead uncovered an anti-Shibusen resistance."
Kid folds up the newspaper and glares at the back of his father's head. "Father... Don't you think that perhaps we might be going too far?"
WHY HELLO THERE HAM-FISTED POLITICAL COMMENTARY
HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE THE LAST TIME IWATCHED AN EPISODE OF SOUTH PARK READ AN X-MEN COMIC BOOK CAUGHT UP ON LAW AND ORDER: LA oh who am i kidding i'm never going to be able to escape from you, am i?
Kid flashes back to the wise words of Grandpa Goo-Monster. "Order" taken too far becomes evil. There are times when "Order" can even become insanity itself.
"You may attempt to justify yourself by saying that there have always been many anti-Shibusen factions in Baghdad," Kid says, "But you still cannot deny that our actions were unjustly coercive... We found no evidence that the Kishin had ever been there. To the rest of the world it will appear as though our only intent from the beginning was to use a flimsy pretense to invade Baghdad and crush that rebellion."
"Baghdad never answered our request to search for the Kishin," Spirit says. "You may think of this as tyranny or whatever, but the truth is that we couldn't just do nothing about that. We absolutely must locate the Kishin no matter what."
"Naaaaaaaaah, actually," Big Daddy says, "I just kinda sorta thought he was there, that's all."
WHICH IS TOTALLY A LEGIT PREMISE TO SEND YOUR ARMY TO INVADE A CITY I MEAN
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE TO HAVE ANY REAL EVIDENCE THAT THERE ARE ELDRITCH ABOMINATIONS BEING HIDDEN THERE OR ANYTHING
YOU JUST GOTTA
YOU GOTTA BELIEVE IT
BELIEEEEEEEVE IT
(Hey guys, sorry that I couldn't find a version of that clip that didn't include the misogynistic side-rant from W because, hey, Boondocks, but whatever. Relevant Donald Rumsfeld + Pulp Fiction + Cartoon Network mashup is relevant.)
I understand that... Kid think-bubbles. Father doesn't really have any choice...
Wait, what?
And I suppose that anybody could be standing here complaining to him... But I should be doing something to help.
I am distracted by the fact that apparently this entire conversation has been happening while Spirit and Big Daddy were standing with their backs to Kid. This whole time. This entire conversation. They were talking to Kid while deliberately facing away from him. What exactly is Big Daddy looking at that's so much more important than actually turning around to face his own son while he's talking to him? And why is Spirit standing and looking in an entirely different direction?
"Father, I shall go to Lost Island," Kid says.
"That's nice, Kyle. I mean, Kid. Now hurry up and get out of here. You know that Daddy doesn't like to be distracted when Desperate Housewives is on."
"This is about Eibon, isn't it," Spirit says, FINALLY turning his head to look at Kid.
"Yes. Eibon was also one of the Great Old Ones... Investigating him may help me uncover a vital clue about the Kishin."
Actually, Kid, I think that your father probably knows a lot more about Eibon than anything that you could gleam from poking around at Lost Island again. So why don't you, I dunno, ask him?
I mean, I know that fifty chapters ago you were too full of angst and father-worship to be willing to ask your daddy what his connection with Eibon was. But that was fifty chapters ago, and Ohkubo would have me believe that somehow - through being abducted by Team Failboat and then being molested by a tentacle monster in the ninth circle of hell, I guess - somehow you have had some miniscule amount of character development since then, so things should be different now. And if you're at the point where you're willing to get all up in Daddy'sface back about how he's Rumsfelding all over Baghdad, then maybe you would also (logically) be unafraid to ask him directly about Eibon, right?
But what am I talking about. Of course Kid is never going to ask Big Daddy about anything ever again, because that would far too easily resolve all of the conflicts in Kid's "character development" so far. Nope, he's going to go running off to some dangerous island and try to do some more detective work on his own because we all know how totally awesome Kid's detective skills are, amirite?
"Oh, and before I leave, may I ask you something, Father? Are there... Are there any more old buddies of yours with tentacle-faces that I should know about? You know, in case one shows up during my next adventure and proceeds to molest me until I get a power-up? Because that seems to be the theme that's developing here and I just want to know ahead of time if that's going to be a possibility again."
"Hmmmmm.... Nope, not that I know of!"
"Okay, well, I'm off, Father. Hopefully I won't get abducted for an entire year again."
"Bye-bye, Kyle! Be sure to bring Daddy back a snowglobe for his collection~!"
MEANWHILE, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A TRANSITION PANEL!
Justin is frustrated. And confused. "You're a monster," he snarls at Tezca.
"SO ARE YOU!!" Tezca says, pointing at Justin accusatorily with one hand while flipping him the bird with the other.
"But ya still can't let yerself become a real monster," Tezca goes on. "Right now Shibusen is all whipped inta a frenzy searchin' for the Kishin. If ya took yer knowledge of the Kishin's location ta Shinigami-sama, he'll definitely think about reducin' yer punishment!" And then Tezca... Wait, what the hell is he doing in the next panel? "But this is yer LAST chance ta come back ta Shibusen! If yer gonna do it then do it now!"
"Why are you so damn insistent on clinging to me?" Justin asks.
"'Cause even though I had Enrique, ya know, you were always..."
"But he was just a monkey," Justin says.
"YEAH I KNOW HE'S A MONKEY, THAT AIN'T TH' POINT!! YA FREAKIN' MORON!! Ya couldn't even make friends with a monkey, what right d'ya have ta judge?!" And now Tezca's really on a tear. "Ya were always all caught up in worshipping Shinigami-sama. But a god ain't somebody ya can share yer thoughts an' yer everyday life with! Shinigami-sama couldn't reward ya with what ya really wanted! That's why he pushed ya t'be a Deathscythe an' then gave ya a job that was s'pposed ta help people learn ta trust you! But ya didn't listen ta any of th' voices around ya. You betrayed Shinigami-sama's faith in ya! And as far as yer concerned Shinigami-sama and th' Kishin are alla the same, ain't they? YOU'RE th' one who's th' real monkey here, 'cause ya can only act if ya got some freakin' belief tellin' ya what ta do! As long as ya got yerself a god then any god'll do, right? But that ain't how humans are s'pposed ta live. Hell, that ain't even good enough fer how monkeys live."
"Then what would you have me do?!" Justin finally responds. "Even if I were to seclude myself on top of some remote mountain and completely cut myself off from the world, how many years do you think it would take before I could finally reach enlightenment? What utter foolishness. There is no Truth to be found in this world. Is it truly such a great evil that one can live happily by embracing the god that is most convenient to one's circumstances?!"
"THAT AIN'T WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!!!" Tezca shouts back.
"WELL EXCUSE ME BUT EVEN THOUGH I HAVE EXTENDED YOU THE COURTESY OF REMOVING MY HEADPHONES YOUR STUPID JAGUAR MASK IS STILL MAKING IT DIFFICULT FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND A SINGLE WORD THAT YOU ARE SAYING!!" Justin shouts back. "SO WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY TO ME?!"
Tezca leaps toward Justin. "I'M SAYIN' THAT I WANTCHA T'BE MY FRIEND!!"
Justin stares up at Tezca as Tezca's monster-form flies toward his face.
Um, Tezca?
Artwork by Hatomune.
There are good ways and there are bad ways to ask somebody to be your friend.
This is a bad way.
Just saying.
"IF I CANNOT READ YOUR LIPS THEN HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BECOME YOUR FRIEND?!" Justin shouts at Tezca. While fending off an attack from Tezca's teeth. Yeah, there's also that thing about how Tezca is apparently trying to bite off Justin's face. That also might be a possible factor in Justin not wanting to be Tezca's friend.
Just saying.
"SO THEN JUST TAKE OFF YER FREAKIN' EARPHONES!!"
"NOT IF I STILL WILL NOT BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND YOU!!"
So then Tezca opens up his body and--
Uh?
Okay the name of this attack is SOLAR RAY and whatever as long as it's not a FRIENDSHIP RAINBOW then I guess Tezca still has some semblence of dignity left.
"Tezca Tlipoca is incredibly dangerous in the middle of the day!" Justin really awkwardly narrates for the benefit of us readers. Or maybe for the benefit of the Clown that's fused to him? "It appears as though he is concentrating the sunlight with his mirror in preparation for an attack."
Wow, that's some really awwwwwwkwwwwwaaaaaaard narration going on in that panel right there.
But then one big boom later, Justin is bleeding but otherwise unharmed. "You merely grazed me... Are you still holding back, even this late in our game? Very well. You will soon regret having not finished me with one strike!" Justin goes on. "Since you have just finished firing that beam--- No matter how many reflections of yourself you may attempt to create this time, I will be able to discern your true body easily from the heat that you are radiating."
"I ain't gonna run an' I ain't gonna hide," Tezca says. "This is yer last chance, Justin!"
Oh shit.
Tezca probably should have run and probably should have hid. :(
"For attempting to uncover the location of Kishin-sama," Justin says, "the penalty is EXECUTION."
"EXECUTION?!" Tezca shouts, back to CAPSLOCK again. "THAT'S SHINIGAMI-SAMA'S DOMAIN!! That ain't somethin' that us humans get ta decide!!"
"But I have obtained the liberty to kill freely!" Justin says. "Kishin-sama has granted such to me. NOW DIE."
"DON'T DO THIS!!" Tezca capslocks. "JUSTIN!!"
"The world that Kishin-sama will create will be the greatest world ever to grace this earth!" Justin screams. "A world of rest!! A world where the pigs and the shitty pigs can never enter!! Rest!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Kill!! Kill everybody!! Kill all that threatens Your rest!! Kill all the piggies sneakity sneaking around!! Piggies pigges all the shitty shitty piggiiiieeeeesssss!! I am a servant of peace!! A pillar of justice!! A blade of faith!! In the name of Terror and Insanity, LAAAAAAW AAAABBBBBIIIII AAAAAAAAAAAAA"
And then "Law-Abiding Silver Gun" basically dissolves into "WHAAAAAAAAAAARRGARBL" and then Tezca loses his head.
"Now to confirm that his soul is truly destroyed," Justin says. "And to confirm that this is indeed the real Tezca."
Justin picks up Tezca's severed head, glances down into the jaguar mask, and whistles to himself. "Yes."
And the chapter ends.
Okay, so! One of two things has to be true:
1. Tezca is dead, or
2. Tezca is not truly dead, and Tezca FAKING HIS DEATH every couple chapters or so is something that we may have to look forward to for the rest of Soul Eater's run.
Either way this final page seems written to be a deliberate cocktease, so I guess we won't know for sure whether Tezca is dead or alive until next month. Until then, we're just going to have to deal with Schrödinger's Tezca being both alive and dead at the same time, depending on who you ask and in what corners of the fandom you hang out in.
Also in this chapter:
F R I E N D S H I P
So we open this month's chapter at SHIBUSEN, where the SEARCH FOR THE KISHIN IS STILL ONGOING, as a helpful caption informs us. Because Tezca has clearly been of absolutely no help in that regard. Also, KATOLABER BAKUHATUENJYOU is going on somewhere in the world, apparently. Which, if my ability to parse fail!romaji is correct here, means that there was a big explosion and fire. Somewhere.
Meanwhile, back to plot!
"Shibusen has taken complete control of Baghdad," Kid reads. "Suspecting that Baghdad was harboring the Kishin, Shibusen troops stormed the city. Although unable to find the Kishin, they instead uncovered an anti-Shibusen resistance."
Kid folds up the newspaper and glares at the back of his father's head. "Father... Don't you think that perhaps we might be going too far?"
WHY HELLO THERE HAM-FISTED POLITICAL COMMENTARY
HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE THE LAST TIME I
Kid flashes back to the wise words of Grandpa Goo-Monster. "Order" taken too far becomes evil. There are times when "Order" can even become insanity itself.
"You may attempt to justify yourself by saying that there have always been many anti-Shibusen factions in Baghdad," Kid says, "But you still cannot deny that our actions were unjustly coercive... We found no evidence that the Kishin had ever been there. To the rest of the world it will appear as though our only intent from the beginning was to use a flimsy pretense to invade Baghdad and crush that rebellion."
"Baghdad never answered our request to search for the Kishin," Spirit says. "You may think of this as tyranny or whatever, but the truth is that we couldn't just do nothing about that. We absolutely must locate the Kishin no matter what."
"Naaaaaaaaah, actually," Big Daddy says, "I just kinda sorta thought he was there, that's all."
WHICH IS TOTALLY A LEGIT PREMISE TO SEND YOUR ARMY TO INVADE A CITY I MEAN
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE TO HAVE ANY REAL EVIDENCE THAT THERE ARE ELDRITCH ABOMINATIONS BEING HIDDEN THERE OR ANYTHING
YOU JUST GOTTA
YOU GOTTA BELIEVE IT
BELIEEEEEEEVE IT
(Hey guys, sorry that I couldn't find a version of that clip that didn't include the misogynistic side-rant from W because, hey, Boondocks, but whatever. Relevant Donald Rumsfeld + Pulp Fiction + Cartoon Network mashup is relevant.)
I understand that... Kid think-bubbles. Father doesn't really have any choice...
Wait, what?
And I suppose that anybody could be standing here complaining to him... But I should be doing something to help.
I am distracted by the fact that apparently this entire conversation has been happening while Spirit and Big Daddy were standing with their backs to Kid. This whole time. This entire conversation. They were talking to Kid while deliberately facing away from him. What exactly is Big Daddy looking at that's so much more important than actually turning around to face his own son while he's talking to him? And why is Spirit standing and looking in an entirely different direction?
"Father, I shall go to Lost Island," Kid says.
"This is about Eibon, isn't it," Spirit says, FINALLY turning his head to look at Kid.
"Yes. Eibon was also one of the Great Old Ones... Investigating him may help me uncover a vital clue about the Kishin."
Actually, Kid, I think that your father probably knows a lot more about Eibon than anything that you could gleam from poking around at Lost Island again. So why don't you, I dunno, ask him?
I mean, I know that fifty chapters ago you were too full of angst and father-worship to be willing to ask your daddy what his connection with Eibon was. But that was fifty chapters ago, and Ohkubo would have me believe that somehow - through being abducted by Team Failboat and then being molested by a tentacle monster in the ninth circle of hell, I guess - somehow you have had some miniscule amount of character development since then, so things should be different now. And if you're at the point where you're willing to get all up in Daddy's
But what am I talking about. Of course Kid is never going to ask Big Daddy about anything ever again, because that would far too easily resolve all of the conflicts in Kid's "character development" so far. Nope, he's going to go running off to some dangerous island and try to do some more detective work on his own because we all know how totally awesome Kid's detective skills are, amirite?
"Hmmmmm.... Nope, not that I know of!"
"Okay, well, I'm off, Father. Hopefully I won't get abducted for an entire year again."
"Bye-bye, Kyle! Be sure to bring Daddy back a snowglobe for his collection~!"
MEANWHILE, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A TRANSITION PANEL!
Justin is frustrated. And confused. "You're a monster," he snarls at Tezca.
"SO ARE YOU!!" Tezca says, pointing at Justin accusatorily with one hand while flipping him the bird with the other.
"But ya still can't let yerself become a real monster," Tezca goes on. "Right now Shibusen is all whipped inta a frenzy searchin' for the Kishin. If ya took yer knowledge of the Kishin's location ta Shinigami-sama, he'll definitely think about reducin' yer punishment!" And then Tezca... Wait, what the hell is he doing in the next panel? "But this is yer LAST chance ta come back ta Shibusen! If yer gonna do it then do it now!"
"Why are you so damn insistent on clinging to me?" Justin asks.
"'Cause even though I had Enrique, ya know, you were always..."
"But he was just a monkey," Justin says.
"YEAH I KNOW HE'S A MONKEY, THAT AIN'T TH' POINT!! YA FREAKIN' MORON!! Ya couldn't even make friends with a monkey, what right d'ya have ta judge?!" And now Tezca's really on a tear. "Ya were always all caught up in worshipping Shinigami-sama. But a god ain't somebody ya can share yer thoughts an' yer everyday life with! Shinigami-sama couldn't reward ya with what ya really wanted! That's why he pushed ya t'be a Deathscythe an' then gave ya a job that was s'pposed ta help people learn ta trust you! But ya didn't listen ta any of th' voices around ya. You betrayed Shinigami-sama's faith in ya! And as far as yer concerned Shinigami-sama and th' Kishin are alla the same, ain't they? YOU'RE th' one who's th' real monkey here, 'cause ya can only act if ya got some freakin' belief tellin' ya what ta do! As long as ya got yerself a god then any god'll do, right? But that ain't how humans are s'pposed ta live. Hell, that ain't even good enough fer how monkeys live."
"Then what would you have me do?!" Justin finally responds. "Even if I were to seclude myself on top of some remote mountain and completely cut myself off from the world, how many years do you think it would take before I could finally reach enlightenment? What utter foolishness. There is no Truth to be found in this world. Is it truly such a great evil that one can live happily by embracing the god that is most convenient to one's circumstances?!"
"THAT AIN'T WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!!!" Tezca shouts back.
"WELL EXCUSE ME BUT EVEN THOUGH I HAVE EXTENDED YOU THE COURTESY OF REMOVING MY HEADPHONES YOUR STUPID JAGUAR MASK IS STILL MAKING IT DIFFICULT FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND A SINGLE WORD THAT YOU ARE SAYING!!" Justin shouts back. "SO WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY TO ME?!"
Tezca leaps toward Justin. "I'M SAYIN' THAT I WANTCHA T'BE MY FRIEND!!"
Justin stares up at Tezca as Tezca's monster-form flies toward his face.
Um, Tezca?
Artwork by Hatomune.
There are good ways and there are bad ways to ask somebody to be your friend.
This is a bad way.
Just saying.
"IF I CANNOT READ YOUR LIPS THEN HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BECOME YOUR FRIEND?!" Justin shouts at Tezca. While fending off an attack from Tezca's teeth. Yeah, there's also that thing about how Tezca is apparently trying to bite off Justin's face. That also might be a possible factor in Justin not wanting to be Tezca's friend.
Just saying.
"SO THEN JUST TAKE OFF YER FREAKIN' EARPHONES!!"
"NOT IF I STILL WILL NOT BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND YOU!!"
So then Tezca opens up his body and--
Uh?
Okay the name of this attack is SOLAR RAY and whatever as long as it's not a FRIENDSHIP RAINBOW then I guess Tezca still has some semblence of dignity left.
"Tezca Tlipoca is incredibly dangerous in the middle of the day!" Justin really awkwardly narrates for the benefit of us readers. Or maybe for the benefit of the Clown that's fused to him? "It appears as though he is concentrating the sunlight with his mirror in preparation for an attack."
Wow, that's some really awwwwwwkwwwwwaaaaaaard narration going on in that panel right there.
But then one big boom later, Justin is bleeding but otherwise unharmed. "You merely grazed me... Are you still holding back, even this late in our game? Very well. You will soon regret having not finished me with one strike!" Justin goes on. "Since you have just finished firing that beam--- No matter how many reflections of yourself you may attempt to create this time, I will be able to discern your true body easily from the heat that you are radiating."
"I ain't gonna run an' I ain't gonna hide," Tezca says. "This is yer last chance, Justin!"
Oh shit.
Tezca probably should have run and probably should have hid. :(
"For attempting to uncover the location of Kishin-sama," Justin says, "the penalty is EXECUTION."
"EXECUTION?!" Tezca shouts, back to CAPSLOCK again. "THAT'S SHINIGAMI-SAMA'S DOMAIN!! That ain't somethin' that us humans get ta decide!!"
"But I have obtained the liberty to kill freely!" Justin says. "Kishin-sama has granted such to me. NOW DIE."
"DON'T DO THIS!!" Tezca capslocks. "JUSTIN!!"
"The world that Kishin-sama will create will be the greatest world ever to grace this earth!" Justin screams. "A world of rest!! A world where the pigs and the shitty pigs can never enter!! Rest!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Kill!! Kill everybody!! Kill all that threatens Your rest!! Kill all the piggies sneakity sneaking around!! Piggies pigges all the shitty shitty piggiiiieeeeesssss!! I am a servant of peace!! A pillar of justice!! A blade of faith!! In the name of Terror and Insanity, LAAAAAAW AAAABBBBBIIIII AAAAAAAAAAAAA"
And then "Law-Abiding Silver Gun" basically dissolves into "WHAAAAAAAAAAARRGARBL" and then Tezca loses his head.
"Now to confirm that his soul is truly destroyed," Justin says. "And to confirm that this is indeed the real Tezca."
Justin picks up Tezca's severed head, glances down into the jaguar mask, and whistles to himself. "Yes."
And the chapter ends.
Okay, so! One of two things has to be true:
1. Tezca is dead, or
2. Tezca is not truly dead, and Tezca FAKING HIS DEATH every couple chapters or so is something that we may have to look forward to for the rest of Soul Eater's run.
Either way this final page seems written to be a deliberate cocktease, so I guess we won't know for sure whether Tezca is dead or alive until next month. Until then, we're just going to have to deal with Schrödinger's Tezca being both alive and dead at the same time, depending on who you ask and in what corners of the fandom you hang out in.
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