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The End of Tsubasa, Part 2 of 4: Chapters 229 and 230
Two more chapters down. Let's go.
Chapter 229: This is, hands down, the greatest Villainy Fail of all time.
Team Incest spends a total of four entire pages dramatically declaring that they REFUSE to allow that future (the one where Sakura grows wings and is sucked away?) from happening, that they WILL create a world where all four of them can live togetherand fuck each other in peace, and that they WILL escape the Doom Tube WITHOUT sacrificing even a single one of the four of themselves!
Unfortunately, 50-story-tall FWR is still holding them in his hands. He looks down at them and lolz. "Sillybeans! YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE."
And then both Sakura suddenly grow wings.
Well, not quite. They both grown one wing each.
Holding hands and looking quite symmetrical, the be-winged princesses glare up at FWR.
FWR rather stupidly seems surprised by this all-too-predictable turn of events. "Fucknuggets! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!?!"
Both Sakura, in unison, state: "We have the power within us to surpass space and time. You gave us this power, remember?"
FWR: "So now you intend to use that power to escape from my prison?! BUT I DIDN'T GIVE YOU THAT POWER TO USE FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!!"
brb
lmao
Okay, I'm good.
So wait, waitaminute, how is it that FWR is the one who gave Sakura the power to surpass space and time? Is this a reference to the long-abandoned plot twist that Sakura could only cross dimensions if she had been to them before, thus the entire reason that FWR scattered her feathers and forced her to go on a journey to retrieve them in the first place?
Which still, as I continuously point out, makes the whole thing where he tried to kill her in a previous time loop completely nonsensical.
And in the previous chapter, he also said that he was the one who put the power to surpass space and time in the ruins at Clow Country (okay), and then somehow took that power and stored it in the Doom Tube (okay again).
Question:
If Fei Wong Reed is the one who gave the power to cross space and time to Sakura/the Ruins/the Doom Tube in the first place, then why is he still obsessed with trying to gain the power to cross space and time?! If he could give that power to others, doesn't that mean that he already has it?!
Fuck you, CLAMP. Fuck. You.
Moving on. Two more pages in which Kurogane and Fay try to do something, and fail miserably.
FWR isn't even paying attention to Daddy and Mommy (the non-incestuous Mommy) anymore. He's still yelling at the clones. "STOP! Even if you escape, the laws of space-time are still crumbling! You cannot reverse it anymore! By destroying your prison, you will make it worse - you will cause the very universe itself to collapse! You will erase your own existence!!"
Does that deter Team Incest, though? No, of course not! All four of them rev up their magical powers and declare, "WE WON'T STOP! BECAUSE WE BELIEVE... IN EVERYONE!"
Ah, the power of love.
No, wait. When Sailor Moon saved the universe solely with the power of love and sparkles and awesome, it actually made perfect sense, because Sailor Moon is a kiddie manga/anime in which that sort of stuff actually works.
Tsubasa, most notably, is not.
Or rather, I think it's trying not to be a stupid kiddie manga, what with all of the death and sex and tragedy and violence and incest, and all that. Trying, but failing miserably on all fronts.
Chapter 230: About Time.
The two Sakura break the Doom Tube to smithereens. They and the other two members of Team Incest escape.
Total chaos. The world goes kablooey.
Kurogane takes advantage of the total chaos to leap at FWR and then proceed to slice that failure of a villain CLEAN IN HALF.
FWR starts to dissolve into glass shards. "It's just like what happened to Syaoran!" Mokona shouts.
As he dies, FWR reaches out his hand toward the smashed remains of the Doom Tube. "No... The witch... must be revived... That is... the reason... for my existence..." He goes on, dissolving further and futher. "I must tell you... I... For the sake of... I......."
Suddenly, FWR's death scene is upstaged by WTF FLYING RANDOM BLACK GOO ATTACK OF DOOM!!! Where did THAT come from?! I dunno, but whatever that stuff is, it suddenly blows all four members of Team Incest apart! They reach for each other, screaming! The goo separates the two Sakura from the two Syaoran! Oh noes!
Meanwhile, FWR has been dissolved until there is nothing left but the lower half of his face, which then begins to smile in the most horrible, creepy way imaginable. "Syaoran," he says, addressing both of them at the same time. "You are the same as I... For your sins... You must pay... the price..."
Hey, are you paying attention to this, Atsushi Ohkubo?! If you're going to use a shitload ton of ellipses in your speech bubbles, then dammit, THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT. When a character is dying and barely able to speak, THAT'S when you bust out with the ellipses. NOT when a character is having a perfectly normal conversation with another character!!
Moving on. Ding-dong, FWR is dead. Black goo is everywhere. A huge swirling vortex of black goo swallows the two Syaoran.
Fay looks up at the goo-tornado. "The world is returning back to normal!" he declares.
Wait, whut?
I thought that the universe was supposed to collapse even worse if the Doom Tube was broken. Why is the universe suddenly being fixed, again?
Also, didn't Fay just witness that goo-tornado eat both Syaoran alive?!
The two Sakura reach toward the tornado, panicked. "Syaoran isn't coming out!" Mokona shouts.
The two Sakura scream. "SYAORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"
Meanwhile, inside the goo vortext: total calm, and total blackness. The two Syaoran stand in the middle of a blank black nothingness. "Where are we?" one Syaoran asks. I can't tell which is which anymore.
"I don't know," the other Syaoran answers. "But I do know that there is nobody else here. There is nothing here."
And then the chapter ends.
Next up: Chapter 231! Wait for it, guys. You're going to need to have some pretty strong liquor on hand to get through this next one. Or at least, I know that I will.
Chapter 229: This is, hands down, the greatest Villainy Fail of all time.
Team Incest spends a total of four entire pages dramatically declaring that they REFUSE to allow that future (the one where Sakura grows wings and is sucked away?) from happening, that they WILL create a world where all four of them can live together
Unfortunately, 50-story-tall FWR is still holding them in his hands. He looks down at them and lolz. "Sillybeans! YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE."
And then both Sakura suddenly grow wings.
Well, not quite. They both grown one wing each.
Holding hands and looking quite symmetrical, the be-winged princesses glare up at FWR.
FWR rather stupidly seems surprised by this all-too-predictable turn of events. "Fucknuggets! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!?!"
Both Sakura, in unison, state: "We have the power within us to surpass space and time. You gave us this power, remember?"
FWR: "So now you intend to use that power to escape from my prison?! BUT I DIDN'T GIVE YOU THAT POWER TO USE FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!!"
brb
lmao
Okay, I'm good.
So wait, waitaminute, how is it that FWR is the one who gave Sakura the power to surpass space and time? Is this a reference to the long-abandoned plot twist that Sakura could only cross dimensions if she had been to them before, thus the entire reason that FWR scattered her feathers and forced her to go on a journey to retrieve them in the first place?
Which still, as I continuously point out, makes the whole thing where he tried to kill her in a previous time loop completely nonsensical.
And in the previous chapter, he also said that he was the one who put the power to surpass space and time in the ruins at Clow Country (okay), and then somehow took that power and stored it in the Doom Tube (okay again).
Question:
If Fei Wong Reed is the one who gave the power to cross space and time to Sakura/the Ruins/the Doom Tube in the first place, then why is he still obsessed with trying to gain the power to cross space and time?! If he could give that power to others, doesn't that mean that he already has it?!
Fuck you, CLAMP. Fuck. You.
Moving on. Two more pages in which Kurogane and Fay try to do something, and fail miserably.
FWR isn't even paying attention to Daddy and Mommy (the non-incestuous Mommy) anymore. He's still yelling at the clones. "STOP! Even if you escape, the laws of space-time are still crumbling! You cannot reverse it anymore! By destroying your prison, you will make it worse - you will cause the very universe itself to collapse! You will erase your own existence!!"
Does that deter Team Incest, though? No, of course not! All four of them rev up their magical powers and declare, "WE WON'T STOP! BECAUSE WE BELIEVE... IN EVERYONE!"
Ah, the power of love.
No, wait. When Sailor Moon saved the universe solely with the power of love and sparkles and awesome, it actually made perfect sense, because Sailor Moon is a kiddie manga/anime in which that sort of stuff actually works.
Tsubasa, most notably, is not.
Or rather, I think it's trying not to be a stupid kiddie manga, what with all of the death and sex and tragedy and violence and incest, and all that. Trying, but failing miserably on all fronts.
Chapter 230: About Time.
The two Sakura break the Doom Tube to smithereens. They and the other two members of Team Incest escape.
Total chaos. The world goes kablooey.
Kurogane takes advantage of the total chaos to leap at FWR and then proceed to slice that failure of a villain CLEAN IN HALF.
FWR starts to dissolve into glass shards. "It's just like what happened to Syaoran!" Mokona shouts.
As he dies, FWR reaches out his hand toward the smashed remains of the Doom Tube. "No... The witch... must be revived... That is... the reason... for my existence..." He goes on, dissolving further and futher. "I must tell you... I... For the sake of... I......."
Suddenly, FWR's death scene is upstaged by WTF FLYING RANDOM BLACK GOO ATTACK OF DOOM!!! Where did THAT come from?! I dunno, but whatever that stuff is, it suddenly blows all four members of Team Incest apart! They reach for each other, screaming! The goo separates the two Sakura from the two Syaoran! Oh noes!
Meanwhile, FWR has been dissolved until there is nothing left but the lower half of his face, which then begins to smile in the most horrible, creepy way imaginable. "Syaoran," he says, addressing both of them at the same time. "You are the same as I... For your sins... You must pay... the price..."
Hey, are you paying attention to this, Atsushi Ohkubo?! If you're going to use a shitload ton of ellipses in your speech bubbles, then dammit, THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT. When a character is dying and barely able to speak, THAT'S when you bust out with the ellipses. NOT when a character is having a perfectly normal conversation with another character!!
Moving on. Ding-dong, FWR is dead. Black goo is everywhere. A huge swirling vortex of black goo swallows the two Syaoran.
Fay looks up at the goo-tornado. "The world is returning back to normal!" he declares.
Wait, whut?
I thought that the universe was supposed to collapse even worse if the Doom Tube was broken. Why is the universe suddenly being fixed, again?
Also, didn't Fay just witness that goo-tornado eat both Syaoran alive?!
The two Sakura reach toward the tornado, panicked. "Syaoran isn't coming out!" Mokona shouts.
The two Sakura scream. "SYAORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"
Meanwhile, inside the goo vortext: total calm, and total blackness. The two Syaoran stand in the middle of a blank black nothingness. "Where are we?" one Syaoran asks. I can't tell which is which anymore.
"I don't know," the other Syaoran answers. "But I do know that there is nobody else here. There is nothing here."
And then the chapter ends.
Next up: Chapter 231! Wait for it, guys. You're going to need to have some pretty strong liquor on hand to get through this next one. Or at least, I know that I will.